Brewers 15 - Cubs 4: The Joe Mather Show

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Brewers 15 - Cubs 4: The Joe Mather Show

. Tuesday, August 28, 2012

This picture needs to go on a banner at Wrigley next year.

Short recap for those of you in a hurry: Joe Mather pitched. That should tell you all you need to know about how the game went. 21 hits for the Lavergne and Shirley All-Stars. I may yet mail a box of my own feces to Jim Hendry's house.

Slightly longer recap: Joe Mather not only picked up the last out of the inning from the dueling tire-fires of Alex Hinshaw and Lendy Castillo, but he outperformed four of the six pitchers we had to use last night to get the interminable ass-whomping over with. Especially Hinshaw and Castillo. ESPECIALLY HINSHAW.

Hinshaw: Three home runs given up in 0.0 innings. I entered the calculations into my computer to project his value as a reliever over the season. Then I went to get a coffee. When I came back, the laptop had looped a belt over its neck and kicked the swivel chair out from under itself. I dropped the coffee and screamed Hinshaw's name to the heavens. ESPN has his game ERA at "INF." That's right - fucking INFINITY. His capacity to give up runs is literally INFINITE. He'll fit into the bullpen pretty well, I'd say.

ARAMIS!: Of course he's heating up at this point in the year. Two homers last night. Cubs fans will make excuses for why he's going to have another 25-homer, 100-RBI season, because they were always shitty about one of the best third basemen in franchise history. How's that Josh Vitters working out for you? I bet he's got "hustle" and "leadership"! He's also 5 for 53 since we called him up. 

Speaking of Vitters: HIS OBP IS .107! You know who beats that in the rotation? Samardzija, Wood, Germano, and Raley. Volstad's like two points back. It's literally like batting two starting pitchers.

11 Losses to the Brewers: That is unacceptable, even in a rebuilding year. They're 60-67 for fuck's sake.

Today: Yovanni Gallardo and Travis Wood. Could be a solid matchup. Here's hoping.