Pulling that old hiding-face-from-the-cameras trick. Someone's watched a perp walk or two before.
That's 19 straight starts without a win for Chris Volstad, for those of you inexplicably counting, shuddering and gibbering to yourself in the corner of a filthy basement. Talk run support all you'd like, you'd need the Big Red Machine to match the numbers given away by Volstad. That's why we at WAIW endeavor to make Volstadding and Volstadded part of the Cubs blog lexicon. Whereas Bob Howry's name was always an angry interjection - sometimes with fun Sunday School language between the "Bob" and the "Howry" - Volstad's systematic death march toward awfulness is less an angry exclamation point than a way of life, a tao of futility. Poor son of a bitch. I'd honestly buy him a beer and a shot of Malort. The latter would certainly help him realize that some things in this world aren't that bad - and that some are WORSE.
Certainly, for example, you could be called up from AAA among loud shouting about the bullpen, come into the game, strike out fancy-batsman Ty Wigginton (foppiest name in the NL!) and then proceed to give up three unearned runs on a throwing error that make Matt Garza's bunt bounce-passes look like Gold Glove material.
But let's not go all-negative for this glorious Friday. Welington Castillo, who we love to give crap to, was 2-4 with a homer and 4 RBI. It only brings his average to .208, but it's early, and we could really use some hitting from behind the plate. And seven runs is something we didn't sniff during early April. Positives.
Today begins the City Series, or the Ruined Oyster Bed Promotional Cup if you prefer. Phil Humber's been on a terrible, terrible run since his perfect game. Jeff Samardzija has been nearly lights-out early on. The way things usually go in this damn interleague torment, I fully expect Samardzija to be out by the third inning and Humber to be working on a no-no. Baseball!