Spoiler Alert: Not going to end well
It's a good thing that WAIW was happy with the split, because Volstad began Volstadding straight off the bat. Hard to win the game when you're down 4-0 after the first inning. A shit-sack of bad luck hit Soto in the 7th, when Polanco turned at least 2 RBIs into a double play. And yeah, that sucks. But that bit of bad luck didn't travel him back in time and base hit Volstad to death.
Indeed, bad luck must play a role. But Volstad's 0-8 in the last 16 games of his career. And yea, the Chicago faithful did despair, and they threw up their hands and asked for Jason Marquis and Matt Clement to return to them.
But you know who has defied expectations recently? Bryan LaHair, who is all up in pitchers shit to the tune of .390/.471/.780. He's also one of the few Cubs I can even envision hitting a home run. But please do recall that we're well acquainted with a hitter falling off precipitously, never to recover. So with that in mind, I'd like to introduce the LaHair/Fukudome watch, where we'll track LaHair's progress against that of 2008 Kosuke Fukduome. I loved the guy, but he's the champion of not being able to sustain early expectations. And he went from All-Star Game starter in 2008 slugging .240 with the White Sox at present. Eep.
Bryan LaHair, 2012 (to date): .390/.471/.780, 23H, 5HR, 14RBI
Kosuke Fukudome, 2008 (March-April 30): .327/.436/.480, 32H, 1HR, 10RBI
So there's that. Check that link above to see just how thoroughly Kosuke walked off the cliff month-to-month in 2008. Seems like LaHair has even further to fall, if he's going to. We'll check in monthly to see how things are going for one of the few pleasant surprises on the 2012 Cubs.
Today is the bro-off between Pirate Samrdzija and Bronson Arroyo, who unleashed this upon the world:
For those of you keeping track at home, here's one of the few things on this earth that will put me firmly in the corner of Jeff Samardzija. Amazon's selling it new for 5.17, presumably in honor of the man's 2011 ERA. 6:10 tonight, bro battles bro. Tune in!