The new scoreboard tries to get Soriano's attention, to remind him that a solo home run is cliche for Alfonso.
For a moment there, were you wondering if the Cubs would do something so cliche as to lose 13 in a row and inspire an entirely new subset of the ever-present curse cottage industry? I'll admit, when the home runs were just flying over Travis Wood's head, I was crafting imaginary blog leads in my head. And even without, my god, it was awful to be in the midst of getting swept by the Astros and the Pirates and knowing with dread and growing certainty that it was going to happen. It's a good thing the Padres suck. Nothing like being the second-smallest fish in the pond.
- The Anthony Rizzo story has gone on so long that I'm pretty sure the new "news" articles are beginning to eat the tail of the older ones.
Next week: White Windowless Van Night
- The Jeff Samardzija bobblehead looks like a tiny plastic pedophile. We're way beyond Stranger Danger here - it's Chester Molester territory. Neat use of the alternate blue jersey, though. Someone on eBay seems to think they can get $40 for it.
- People underrate defensively talented first basemen - we did it with Derrek Lee all the time. I hope watching Bryan LaHair biff half the crap hit his way will help us value the next guy who can make a fielding difference at first. Hell, Jeff Baker looked stellar in comparison on Tuesday. That's no good.
- I'm going to start buying Get Well cards in bulk, because I need this to be the last time I ever see Koyie Hill attempt to hit. He's honestly not much better than batting Garza. Can we DH for him during interleague play? Or perhaps send up Tony Campana with a fake mustache, pretending to hold his hand all funny?
- Brian Dennehy is a glorious, glorious Stretch singer, and an entertaining interview to boot on Monday. He perpetually sounds like the fun uncle at your party who has a couple of beers down. Big Chicago guy, entertaining, made sense.
- Ace of Cakes on Tuesday, on the other hand? How the hell did that happen? "Ladies and gentlemen of Chicago, please welcome the Baltimore native who makes fondant reproductions of rich people's dogs!"
- We go for the sweep today. Ryan Dempster is still going for his first win. His. First. Win. Madness.