Wish List for the New Era

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Wish List for the New Era

. Tuesday, April 3, 2012

A lot has happened since we blacked late last season after realizing that Jeff Samardzija was one of our best bullpen pitchers. Hit our heads on a commemorative Milt Pappas spittoon and a limited edition sixteen gallon glass jug of Glenn Beckert's Smolder, a Fragrance for Men, respectively. Ugly stuff. We wake up with a new coach, sans our former pitching ace, and with a front office we have reason to actually feel optimistic about. Surely this mixed bag is better than any of the previous three offseasons. We have genuine interest and hope again now. And that scares the holy shit out of me. So in this time of upheaval - although not too much, we'll still be the Cubs, and we still won't be very good - I thought it prudent to lay down a few items that I'm hoping for during the 2012 campaign.

- I attempted, against my better judgment, to look into bleacher tickets for the Cubs/Red Sox series. You want to know what "dynamic bleacher pricing" means? $140. One hundred and forty fucking dollars. My wish for this year is for all you dear readers to realize that the bleachers stopped being anything "fun" or "authentic" years ago. It's still extremely enjoyable when we're 17 games out and you can show up to a half-full house for a few bucks, but gone are the days when the hardcore fan could save a few bucks by sitting in the sun and hurling abuse at Jeff Bagwell. YOU PIECE OF SHIT, BAGWELL!

- As ever, I hope that the disgusting urinal troughs at Wrigley stay as constant as the desert sands under the Saharan sun. It's always enjoyable to see an out of towner get extremely bent out of shape in a crowded bathroom. And yes, it's kind of gross, but it's preferable to the entire city of St. Louis, with is actually a toilet.

- Furthermore, we at WAIW would greatly enjoy seeing Anthony Rizzo in the majors sooner rather than later. While it's true he may not be ready for a daily grind at first base, it's also true that Bryan LaHair will never be. Also, my thinking on this may be completely wrong, because if there's one thing I'm not used to as a Cubs fan, it's having a promising farm system.

- Remember when Jim Hendry dropped all that money stocking the farm system with players from Asia (mostly Korea?). Looks like Theo and Jed are stocking the larder with Cubans. This is much, much better. At present, the Cubs have more Cubans in the organization than any other team. I love that the organization is improving relationships and building its reputation in the best baseball nation outside of the U.S. Let's keep that up.

- Jeff Samardzija and David DeJesus are two of the bobbleheads on offer this year. What I'd really enjoy at this point is the front office finally revealing its hilarious prank and telling us who the real bobbleheads are going to be.

Two days until baseball comes back to Addison and Clark. Go Cubs Go.