"He actually did it. He fucked with DeJesus."
Last place came up fast, huh?
Can we please do something about this bullpen? Maybe send it downstate to live with a nice farm family? That's three losses on the back end so far, and this time we even have a whole new guy to blame. Not that Shawn Camp taking a loss is in any way shocking. Nor, sadly, is dropping a series to those Affliction-shirted jags from the Diabetic North. If I recall correctly, it's happened at a greater than 60 percent clip in the past few years.But you come here for trenchant analysis, and possibly the cursing. TO THE BASEBALL SCIENCE!
- How depressing of an end to the game was Starlin Castro's 3-pitch de-pantsing? No sooner had I texted Steve "I bet he reaches way out of the zone at the third strike" than he gets hyp-mo-tized by a breaker from Axelrod. So thus ends the game, along with his sizable on-base streak of games. It happens. That at-bat was so traumatic, I think he's going to need a montage to get over it and save the community center.
- I've always been an unabashed fan of Aramis Ramirez. But I guess I'm not as good at hating the dude who gave us 90+ RBIs six times. We don't have a lot of those at Addison and Clark in modern history. So of course he ends up booting a routine ball late and handing some ammunition to the mouth breathers who booed upon his introduction. Of course he does.
- Speaking of which: The reanimated corpse of Mark DeRosa got an ovation from the Wrigley crowd at least twice by my count on Opening Day in a Nationals uniform. Yet you want to boo Aramis? Some perspective, please.
- COUNTERPOINT - The Brewers giving him a backloaded $36M deal is legitimately hilarious. He'll age to 2014 about as well as a Ryan Braun-designed t-shirt.
- A Darwin Barney home run? I'm just as surprised as you are. And Darwin Barney was.
- Bryan LaHair hit the holy shit out of that ball. Please let him be on steroids. It's either that or 12 Alfonso Soriano solo homers leading the team this year.
- Our leadoff man has an OBP of .286. Just in case any of you were wondering why we drink.
- Shawn Camp is well on his way to the Jon Lieber lifetime "achievement" award.
- I wonder how long it took Casey Coleman to legally change his name to Chris Volstad.
- Chris Narveson vs. Paul Maholm tonight. Should be ... a baseball game. Yup.