Milton Bradley: Still Crazy as Fuck

Remember when an insane man made half of the fanbase wonder whether they were actually crazy racists in disguise? And we dragged up some shit for a few weeks because apparently we'd never heard of Milton Bradley before? I called in a live remote to LOHO about it in order to throw confetti on the burning fire of racial strife. Because seriously, we were taking a paranoid narcissist's (who allegedly smacks his wife) word over what we lived in the stands every day. Yes, there are dumb fucks, but they're not the rule.

Anyway, turns out I was right - Bradley is a fuckhead, and we never did end up adopting those white hood alternate unis. Bradley was out after a horrifically disappointing season, because he isn't mature enough to co-exist with any carbon-based life form. Then he went to Seattle, where he hit .205 in 73 games and ended the season as the only player on the Restricted (Translated: Crazy Fuck) List. He made the acquisition Carlos Silva and his half-case of Moon Pies seem like a good financial deal at $10 million. BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!!! Per the Seattle Times

"Officer Karen Rayner of the Los Angeles Police Department said police were called to a location in the Van Nuys district about 8:50 a.m. where they met with a woman. Rayner, citing department protocol, said the identity of the victim and her relationship to Bradley cannot be released, but that she told police there 'had been some type of threat.'

About two hours later, at 10:40 a.m., Bradley, 32, was arrested at an address in the 5300 block of Oak Park Avenue in Encino and booked on a felony violation of California Penal Code Sec. 422. Documents show Bradley owns a home on that block.

The penal code section refers to someone 'who willfully threatens to commit a crime which will result in death or great bodily injury to another person' and for the victim of the crime to take it seriously."

So with the memory of the 2010 Seattle Freakout fresh (we're several freakouts past his Cubs sins now), he's been arrested for allegedly abusing a woman - something we've pointed out that he's been accused of in the past. Anyone in Cub-land want to step up and say that he's once again just a victim of racist baseball fans? Just a misunderstood talent with a chip on his shoulder and a cadre of well-organized enemies? No, I suppose not. So to those who in the past called this crazy bastard's problems just a symptom of a racist fan culture, WAIW would like to invite you to fuck yourself. Hard. With a fire poker.

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WAIW's Resolutions for 2011

We at WAIW, in the spirit of self-improvement that grips so many fatties and smokers during this time of year, have decided to attempt some Cubs-based New Years resolutions. Unlike most resolutions, this set of goals isn't about improving our failings - it's about coming to early terms with the failure of the 2011 Cubs. Not to depress you or anything, but if you watched last year's, then I'm sunshine and rainbows in comparison. How will we withstand the very probable 4th place finish? How will we profess devotion to a team when we hate the guy in charge of personnel and find the ownership pathetic and spineless? ALCOHOL! Also, these very timely resolutions.

WAIW's 2011 Cubs Resolutions

- WAIW hereby resolves to give the Ricketts ownership the benefit of the doubt, just as they gave Jim Hendry, Crane Kenney, and any potential sponsor with two nickels to rub together and a dumbss promotional idea (Fuck you, giant macaroni).

- We hereby resolve to give our undying support to Kerry Wood during his farewell tour because he hammered out his contract at D'Agostino's on Southport, and we both find that to be pretty bad-ass. We secondarily resolve to get drunk on the Pub Crawl at eat pizza there.

- We also resolve to again act surprised when Carlos Zambrano underperforms, freaks out, misses a month or more, and comes back to pitch solidly when we're 20 games out of contention.

- We resolve to drink until we forget the fact that Samardzija is out of minor league options, and that Hungry Hungry Hendry will likely waste a roster spot on that sack of crap.

- We resolve to not bitch too loudly when Marmol blows a win, as he will likely be well out of practice and unfamiliar with the situation by the time that happens.

- We resolve not to get our hopes up when Fukudome hits .330 in April, and further resolve to ignore trade rumors regarding him. Seriously, no one wants him.

- Steve and I resolve to continue fighting about the quality of Aramis Ramirez like an old married gay couple.

- I resolve to attend Opening Day at Wrigley, and also resolve to use one of the floating holidays that work gives me for religious reasons.

- We resolve to continue attending games long after the rotting corpse of the Cubs has begun to stink up the NL Central basement, so long as we don't have to pay more than $10 for good seats.

- Finally, we resolve to crack a cold Old Style, sit in the sun, and enjoy ourselves. Multiple times. Sometimes, that's all we've got as Cubs fans.

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