Weekend Recap: Jim Hendry, Certified Shitbag

Monday, August 1, 2011

Weekend Recap: Jim Hendry, Certified Shitbag

. Monday, August 1, 2011

"Hmm. Now where did I leave that Cheez Whiz sandwich?"

Over the weekend, the Cubs just barely snapped a 5 game losing streak, leaving them at a hair over 20 games below .500. On Saturday, they jumped out to a 5-0 lead on their most hated rival, then gave up the next 13 runs with nary a peep. A payroll that dwarfs most teams, and on-field product that makes one long for the glory days of 75-win teams.

And one man looked at this tire fire of a team, this terrible team with no prospects. And he said "I'd like more of this!" That man was Jim Hendry. And he is fucking terrible.

Shipping Fukudome, as it turns out, was his only move. And even that move required taking on two prospects who will NEVER see Wrigley Field and shipping over a truckload of cash to offset the $14M salary that Hendo signed him to in the first fucking place. Other than that, he said, the Cubs are standing pat.


"Standing pat" is something you do with a contending team that has a decent chance of making the kind of stretch run necessary to make the playoffs. It's not something you do with a bloated payroll on pace for 60 wins. The deadline, at the very least, is the time when you look for that silver lining. New guys are in, and at the very least, some money's off the books and the new people aren't the ones who have been shitting up Addison and Clark for the past hundred games.

But no, after years of digging this particular hole, Hungry Hungry Hendry decided to just lean on his gravedigging shovel and whistle a cheerful tune. Much like a mentally ill person would do.

So what's on the horizon? Nothing. You'd imagine that after two seasons in a row of utter failure, there MUST be some sort of change on the horizon. But have you been paying attention to the Rickettses since they took over? The only changes have been in advertising and ticket prices. They want to charge you 70 bucks to watch from the bleachers, but they've never considered whether there's anything at Wrigley worth paying that much to watch. Mr. Ricketts hasn't even gotten rid of the WORST TEAM PRESIDENT IN BASEBALL. No, Crane Kenney - the Trib Co. placeholder - has now presided over two full seasons of terrible Ricketts baseball. Nor has he gotten rid of a man who has managed to build a 47-win team by August with over $100 million in payroll. And why would we think he would?

I've seen nothing positive about the man, just bullshit stories about how me met his wife in the bleachers and once lived across the street. Big fucking deal. Have you SEEN any of the people in the bleachers at Wrigley? Like, say, this stupid asshole? Hey, that guy's been in the bleachers! Let's put him in charge of a team that hasn't won a pennant since 1945! Hopefully we can put the "Ricketts is Cubs material through and through" myth to bed. Then put a pillow over its face and hold it until the thrashing stops.