After Zambrano put across an apology for saying exactly what we were all thinking, the local media's menstrual cramping eased up a bit. It's gotten to the point where you really can't read anything they write about Zambrano and take any useful pieces of information out of it. I'm fairly certain Zambrano must have deflowered all their daughters and then stood them up for prom. Nothing else can explain the ludicrous "suspend him until you can trade him for dick" stance that David Dumfuck Haugh was spewing. I mean, seriously? What happens if an unhappy Z is left to sort this out on his own like a man - we might start losing a lot of games? Fuck you Haugh.
Anyway, that seems to be over, right? Nope - we still have to play actual baseball games. And we're not good at that. Really not good.
And so, like we thought might happen going into this stretch, we've lost seven in a row. SEVEN. And, lest you forget, three of those were against the Astros. We may very well be the worst team in the National League. I'm not sure what to say about the game - Fuku continues to hit, Castro managed a hit and an RBI, and Matt Garza did his Matt Garza thing - that is, he came in, looked okay, then gave up runs in the second, third, and fourth before being lifted at 81 pitches. At least he looks to be on the mend, I suppose. Then we were treated to the Samardzija/Russell/Grabow show, which as you might suspect didn't end being very much fun. This is legitimately an awful season at this point. Good thing you have the Pub Crawl to look forward to. After that? Only death.
I don't want to end the article without mentioning that the Cubs drafted a new shortstop in the first round last night with the ninth overall pick. I understand we're likely to convert him to second or third, but I'd just like to emphasize that in a season where the only thing we're sure of is the shortstop we used our first round pick on a fucking shortstop. These are the lean years, folks. Enjoy the cheap tickets.
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