Weekend Recap: Cubs Split With D'Backs

Monday, May 2, 2011

Weekend Recap: Cubs Split With D'Backs

. Monday, May 2, 2011

After splitting with the Diamondbacks, it's quite clear that we NEED our starting pitchers back from the DL. I've been saying that for awhile now, but there's a new wrinkle. Instead of preventing additional Casey Coleman or even Jeff Samardzija starts, I want them back so they can spell Ryan Dempster's nuclear arm. Holy shitcrackers did his early-season awfulness come to a head on Thursday. His stats:

0.1 IP, 4H, 7R, 7ER, 4BB, 1HR

Also, this:

40 pitches, 18 strikes

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. That's horrible! That's bringing-a-kid-up-from-Iowa-who-will-be-too-tramatized-afterward-to-ever-pitch-again horrible.Certainly not worth the $13.5 million salary or the $14 million player option that will kick in after this year. The best thing this contract can do now is lose Jim Hendry his job.

The Ronnie, weekend of May 1 - Alfonso Soriano

Who would you guess is leading the NL in home runs? Troy Tulowitzki? Albert Pujols? Prince Fielder? All good guesses, but no. Our oft-reviled $120M man, Alfonso Soriano, is tied with Ryan Braun at 10 homers. After being lifted for Colvin on Thursday, his two solo shots on Friday went a long way toward winning the game. He also added two RBIs during Sunday's win and a double during Sunday's shit-storm. He's now got the team record for most homers in April. If you told someone that Sori would be making Cubs history this Spring, I don't think they'd have imagined it would be in a good way.

As a cynical blogging type, I'd like to put it out there that he may just be getting our hopes way up for a mid-season dragon kick of disappointment.

The LaTroy - Carlos Pena

It was bound to happen. Just getting replaced by Jeff Baker twice during a weekend series would normally be enough for a guy making $10 mil. But given up opportunities on Friday and Sunday, he literally did jack shit, collecting a single hit on the weekend.

His OPS is now lower than ... let me see here ... EVERY FUCKING NON-PITCHER. Seriously. Blake DeWitt? .513. Darwin Barney? .809. Tyler Colvin? .532. Meanwhile, our "power hitter" has an OPS of .482. That's not just bad, that's Aaron Miles bad.

What's that? Miles is at .602? You have got to be shitting me. Pull it together, Carlos.