"No, Geo, I already told you, I'm not 'gonna start pitching like shit' now."
Last night was quite the anomaly - a couple of the players that WAIW has been pissy about went ahead and pulled themselves together. Dempster went 7 innings with 6 hits and a run and Pena FINALLY hit a damn home run. Of course, to restore our universe to balance, Starlin Castro went 0-4. Apparently the NL works on karma.
Dempster's performance last night, though against a team with a fantastically shitty lineup, eased my mind a bit and brought his ERA back on the happy side of 9 (HA). Pena's dinger, while cathartic, did not provide nearly as much surcease, as he's still rocking a .515 OPS. In that fashion, I'd like to let you know what each of the following Cubs scapegoats must do to get back in my good graces.
- Geovany Soto: Bring that average over .250. I don't care if you've got to get fat again to do it. And please stop grooming the beard so precisely. It creeps one out.
- Alfonso Soriano: Please bring up the OBP and batting average. Failing that, hit 10 homers every month.
- James Russell: Personally heal Wells and Cashner so we don't have you watch you start games anymore. Go back to being a mediocre bullpen option.
- Jeff Samardzija: Take back up the mantle of football. Sign with Packers. Cry on bench.
- John Grabow: Change name to "Not John Grabow" and renounce all athletic competition. Become hot dog vendor. Give me free hot dogs for life. Apologize on deathbed.
2014 Beer Price Guide
Let's face it, they gouge you in Wrigleyville. Here is your official source of beer prices, containing only beers we have drank at bars we have drank them at.
Revolution Anti-Hero $6
Miller Lite (16 oz) $6
312 Wheat $3
312 Pale Ale $3
The Illinois $6
Old Style $2
We Were There!
7- 4 (2010)
8 - 7 (2009)
4 - 7 (2010)
8 - 6 (2009)
2014: Year of the Call Up
Top 10, All-Time Posts
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Posted by John at 9:37 AM . Wednesday, May 4, 2011
WAIW 6th Annual Pub Crawl Shirts
Nintendo! Malort! Crawling! These are a few of our favorite things. They can be yours as well, with the simple purchase of this shirt. Timeline's tight on this one folks, so don't delay, as you need to get the order in by Friday. EARLY. What? Haven't you looked at the posting frequency? We're lazy.
Looking to buy? You are too late, sucka!