"I diagnose some ice cream for you, buddy."
Your intrepid reporter blithely ditched work for the early-season Cubs baseball action yesterday. Or, rather, politely requested off of work and was kindly granted said request. You know, like a badass. Either way, early-season weekday baseball is back in the blood at WAIW, where we never miss an opportunity to heckle Samardzija from the cheap seats.
Oh, and what heckling there was to be had. Yesterday's game was an excellent example of how you've got to take the bad with the good as a Cubs fan. Sure, Marlon Byrd finally had a big game at the plate. But we also saw Koyie Hill bat, which is like having two pitchers bat consecutively. Andrew Cashner looked great yesterday, but also ended the day with an MRI. James Russell looked like a solid bullpen option, but still gave up the lead on runners inherited from the useless Mask/Mateo duo. But we cling to hope here, not so much even due to the play at the moment, but because Thunder Matt alum and fellow attendee White Chili won $100 in Dairy Queen money from this terrifying horse-man from some diabetic Lynchian nightmare.
Horse-Man: The miscarried offspring of a thousand gibbering lunatics, here to foretell the end of man. Boy, I sure could use a Dilly Bar, though.
Ever seen a freakish horsehead man and thought "I could go for a Butterfinger crushed up in soft serve?" Apparently, people have. Anyway, back to the game. After building what should prove an insurmountable lead (the D-Backs are really, really bad), we lost Cashner to a sore shoulder and the lead to a pair of fuck-ups who can't find the strike zone except to give up a base hit. It's par for the course with what you'd expect from Samardzija, but I had higher hopes for Mateo. James Russell pitched well, but couldn't keep the D-Backs from tying because he'd been handed a shit-sandwich of baserunners. This is what happens when you burn your setup and closer three days in a row. I'm just glad we had enough capable arms (plus Samardzija) on the roster to finish out Cashner's early exit. They may have to call on the ghost of Rod Beck this afternoon if Dempster can't hang around.
Even more, sans Nightmare Horse, after the jump
Halfway through the game, no less.
Attendance yesterday was announced just over 27,000. That's pretty bad, and apparently the day before was the worst-attended Cubs game since Bruce Kim was fucking around in the dugout back in 2002. It's weird how the Ricketts kept the worst President in baseball, a GM that managed to spend us into a $145M fourth place finish, and raised the prices, and yet people still don't want to come to the game. Personally, I bought my tickets off of StubHub, and two tickets - fees and all - were still more than 10 bucks less than the price of a single 500-level ticket. Now that I've managed to slag the ownership in my contractually-obligated manner, I will say that the following picture was pretty damn funny. Just a bird, hanging out in the seats people were paying $70 for as recently as 2008.
Me and this garbage-eating bird both love seeing the game without paying the Ricketts.
Rock on, bird. Me and that bird, we're good Cubs fans. Probably because we lack all but the rudimentary ability to learn from the past.