Sifting Through the Pile of Suck: 2010 Season Recap (Part 2)

Yeah, that about sums it up

Now that we're in our off-season weekly posting mode (which, frankly, is probably more than we did during the last two months of that horrible season), we're endeavoring to explain what went wrong in each phase of the Cubs game. There was a lot, so it's coming in parts. A lot of parts. Last week, we kicked off with starting pitching. Today, it's the infield (minimum 100 at-bats - sorry, Bobby Scales).

Geovany Soto - .280 BA/.393 OBP/17 HR/53 RBI

Little-known fact: Soto was an extra in The Buena Vista Social Club

It's too bad that his 2009 was so disappointing, because I think Cubs fans no longer appreciate how talented he is. It's hard to find a catcher who can hit like this and still call a decent game. One of the bright spots.

Grade: B+

Koyie Hill - .214/.254/1/17



Bizarro Soto is above-average defensively, but fucking TERRIBLE at the plate. The next manager who talks about his ability to switch hit gets punched in the neck. It doesn't count if you hit like a pitcher. Really, when you decide to start Koyie Hill, you're saying "I'm gonna play 7 hitters today."

Grade: D-

Derrek Lee - .251/.335/16/56

Farewell, D-Lee. I'm glad he didn't leave under a cloud of acrimony. I will not make fun of people in Lee jerseys at Wrigley next year. A great player and a great Cub who will be missed. Unfortunately, his slump combined with A-Ram's to murder the season in its crib.

Grade: C+

Xavier Nady - .256/.306/6/33

I said last offseason that it was a depressing free agent period because Nady was our biggest pickup. You know what ended up being more depressing? Watching him play early in the season. To call him a complete non-factor would be an insult to the Gabe Kaplers of the world. Got better later on, but at that point we'd already hit the iceberg of mediocrity.

Grade: D+

Mediocre grades for a mediocre middle infield, plus Starlin Castro, after the jump.



Ryan Theriot - .284/.320/1/21

He offered decent OBP and average, but the reason I was so happy to see him gone was because of his abysmal fielding. Despite moving to second base - theoretically, a much less demanding position - he played the field with all the precision and grace of a 9-year old Japanese child playing in Strobe Light Stadium. He was nice to Steve at RibFest, though - that counts for something.

Grade: C-

Mike Fontenot - .284/.322/1/20

Try to ignore the morons hyuck-ing over the video, but this is a really, really awful play for an NLCS game. Or any game.

I had to check a couple of times to make sure I didn't hit copy/paste by accident. Then I remembered that Big Hungry Hendry likes to stockpile light-hitting middle infielders. This includes our dearly departed Malibu Mike, who made perhaps the worst play of the postseason during Game 2 of the NCLS the other night, watching a popup fall to the infield with all the concern of a negligent British nanny.

Grade: C

Blake DeWitt - .250/.314/4/22

We gave up Ted Lilly and got this ... person. Out-mediocred both Theriot and Fontenot, and cost us a pile of cash along in addition Theodore Roosevelt Lilly. Great move, Hendo.

Grade: C-

Jeff Baker - .272/.326/4/21

The forgotten stockpiled mediocre middle infielder. For when you don't want your starting infielder to play, but you're too lazy to make the call to Iowa.

Grade: C

Starlin Castro - .300/.347/3/41

Cannot yet drink legally. In my experience, that means he probably sneaks a lot of High Life out of his parents' fridge.

Soto was the under-appreciated asset and all, but Starlin Castro, who was a fetus when I started Little League, was the reason to watch. A bit rough in the field as he worked through the expected growing pains, but kept his average up far longer than anyone suspected he would. After some pre-emptive Theriot bitching, a controversy seemed to be brewing. Then Castro proved himself a better, and more exciting, shortstop in every phase of the game. Every non-Pittsburgh team needs a bright spot. I'm really enjoying ours. He stole home, for fuck's sake. Something's gotta wake up the crowd.

Grade: A-

Aramis Ramirez - .241/.294/25/83

Ramirez often daydreams about the offseason.

What a god-awful start to the season. And what a god-awful season in which a man who batted .152 through April and .173 in may ended up being perhaps one of our three most potent offensive weapons. Burned it up on July and August before dropping off again in September. It wasn't all terrible - that fact that he was within distance of 100 RBIs is pretty unreal, considering his start to the year. Hopefully he puts together a full season in 2011 - he's still my favorite Cub, and I'd hate for us to have to take him to the glue factory.

Grade: C

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It's Official: Quade to Clap, Stare Hard at Things Again Next Year

Not a bad choice. I mean, why lure a top-fight manager who will eventually quit in frustration when our $19M pitcher notches a total of six starts in the June/July/August swing. I like Quade - enough to be sorry for him now that he's officially the Rebuilding Caretaker (TM).

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Sifting Through the Pile of Suck: 2010 Season Recap (Part 1)

Apologies for the absence, but the Cubs briefly broke my brain. I had endeavored to attend one last game during the 2010 season, because I love Wrigley Field and I love my team. That game turned out to be this particular gem. So I needed a break for awhile. Thankfully, an unexpectedly, the Bears have eased my suffering somewhat. So I'm ready to love again. But one can't go forward without coming to terms with the past. That'd be unhealthy. So we're going to take a player-by-player look at just where it all went wrong this year, starting with the starting pitching. Let's get healthy.

Ryan Dempster

Classic "ace of a bad team" year. Lots of decisions (15-12), solid ERA (3.85), and over 200 innings for the third year in a row. But holy shit, I'm not forgiving him for that Giants game. Hopefully he can keep producing for the remaining two years of his contract before he turns 35 and must flee for his life a-la Logan's Run.

Grade: B+

Carlos Zambrano



You know it's a bad year when Carlos Zambrano isn't even on the top 5 list of things that piss you off about the Cubs. Another godawful start to the season (54.00 ERA, anyone?) and midsummer freakout (no starts from June 25 to August 9). Fuck. Then he goes all retard strength and wins eight in a row to end the season, including a tense one against the hated Cardinals and a 1-0 gem against San Diego that stuck a knife in their season. When he does this again next year, let's all pretend we're surprised.

Grade: C-

Ted Lilly

An excellent example of why wins are such a shitty statistic. Went 3-8 with the Cubs despite being consistently good. Steve and I took a day off to catch his last, bittersweet start at Wrigley, which was of course a loss. Just watching Blake DeWitt ineffectually flail at the ball makes me miss Theodore Roosevelt Lilly. Godspeed, sir.

Grade: B

Everyone from Silva to whoever Casey Coleman is, after the jump



Carlos Silva



Hostess Fruit Pie hidden in a towel. Oldest trick in the book.

Went to shit around the time the Cubs did, turning an 8-0 beginning to the year into a 10-6 final result. Two starts past July, both losses, with more than a month between them. At least he's not Milton Bradley.

Grade: B- (graded on the curve for extremely low expectations)

Randy Wells



This is actually Steve Trachsel. You didn't catch that, did you?

He should officially change his name to add ": #5 starter" at the end, because that's all he'll ever be. And that's not really a bad thing. Sure, the high hopes we had during early 2009 were enjoyable, but pretty unrealistic. He gave up 5 or more runs in a start nine times. No one wants to be Steve Trachsel 2.0, but it'll be nice to have one while we rebuild and wait for these ridiculous contracts to expire.

Grade: C+

Tom Gorezelanny



Soth love Chunk. Chunk indifferent to marginally decent occasional starter. Probably would have finished with a sub-3 ERA, if not for hilarious 7H, 7ER three-inning performance against St Louis near the end. Hope you like guys like him, because it's all we can afford for awhile.

Grade: C+

Thomas Diamond

His middle name is Nicklaus. Laaaaaaame. He's a young guy with marginal talent pressed into service by our new, cheap ownership. Not terrible, but certainly overmatched. Finished the year with an ERA above 7. Remember those last three sentences, because you're going to apply them to most of the bullpen and all the spot-starters.

Grade: D (for Dustin, which I wish his name was)

Casey Coleman

Not terrible. Won his last three games last year with pretty decent performances and a modicum of offensive support. I really have no opinion on him yet. I was drinking very heavily during games by the time be became a regular starter.

Grade: 86 Proof

Jeff Samardzija



Pitched himself out of the big leagues in April (18.90 ERA in 4 games), despite reader Douchebag Mike claiming him the second coming of Christ. Called back up when things were so dire, even he couldn't screw it up. Notice no one calls him "Shark" anymore, because nicknames are for good players.
Beat St. Louis, which left me conflicted. Then lost to them two weeks later, which felt a lot more familiar. If I have to watch him pitch regularly in 2011, I'm going to eat a shotgun.

Grade: AAA (keep him there - please)

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