Weekend Suckfest Recap: Now Is the Time For Malaise!

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen of WAIW. If you hadn't heard, the Colorado Rockies - a team that came into our weekend series having lost 8 straight games - completed a thorough fisting of the Cubs over the weekend, including a 17-2 shit-beating in the opener. But that's not necessarily all your bad news in one shot. Let's bullet point this beotch, because putting it all to prose might lead some of you to throw an electrical cord over the rafter and step up on that rickety chair after addressing a shakily-written note to an estranged family member.

- Lilly? Gone, along with Theriot, for Blake DeWitt (i.e. Ryan Theriot West) and some minor leaguers. Oh, and we gave them $2.5 million. I have no idea why.

- Hendry trading cash, a pitcher, and another player for a career .262 middle infielder? Give it to me man, he sticks with his strategies. The ass.

- Carlos Silva lasted 1/3 of an inning on Sunday, and then had to go to the hospital. Still less traumatic than your average Zambrano start.

- Derrek Lee? Not going anywhere, apparently. At least until the offseason, when we won't get anything for him.

- All the work has apparently caught up with Sean Marshall, who gave up 5 hits and 5 earned runs during Friday's pasting, then took the loss the next day after giving up a game-winning cycle-giving home run.

- Cashner did no bettter after blowing Lilly's last start earlier in the week, out-Marshalling Marshsall on Friday (6H, 6ER) and giving up two walks on Sunday before ultimately getting out of it. The ERA is over 6 and the WHIP is a Samardzija-ian 1.588. Yeesh.

Stay tuned this week, when we take our league-worst record against the NL Central back to Wrigley for a pair of series with the Brewers and Reds. We're starting something known as Thomas Diamond on Tuesday, so that should be ... interesting. Stay tuned! .... somehow.