WAIW Cubs Blog Roundtable: The Resurrection

Thursday, July 1, 2010

WAIW Cubs Blog Roundtable: The Resurrection

. Thursday, July 1, 2010

As it's getting harder to keep writing about Cubs loss after Cubs loss, Steve and I decided to resurrect the WAIW Cubs Blog Roundtable, last year's feature that brought together the viewpoints of the greatest bloggers in Cubdom. And honestly, it's about time. This team is god-awful. Worse, they're unlikable. Clearly, we need something to distract us from the on-field product. As such, I proposed that we resurrect the Cubs Blog Roundtable. When you hate the team, the only thing Cubs fans have to turn to is each other. Especially now that hockey season is over. I'll run these mid-week this year, as opposed to Fridays. This was the first query:

Over the weekend, it became clear that Derrek Lee is fed up with Zambrano's tried and true act. Who do you blame for the altercation, and what cartoonish punishment would you pass down? Also, say the entire team decided to go Thunderdome style, who are you placing your money on to walk away victorious?

Jen, Cub Bloging

I'm on Team Lee. Deadass-busting or not, fighting with Derrek Lee puts Z at a table for two with Chris Young. Hey, there's a punishment - too bad Z already had dinner reservations Friday night.

Also - two men enter, Fontenot leaves.

Cubbiejulie, A League of Her Own

I blame Mike Fontenot for his stupid sideburns and Derrek Lee for being unable to hit above .250. The Cubs are just lucky it was Carlos who blew a gasket and not Lilly. Had it been Lilly, he's the only one walking out of that dugout when it's over.

As for a punishment, I say we make the whole team watch the entire first season of 'Undercover Boss,' to remind them of all the service industry jobs waiting for them if they can't figure out how to hit a baseball again.

The Ted Lilly Fan Club

Most would probably say that Big Z is to blame and some might even point a finger at D Lee. But the Ted Lilly Fan Club? We blame Scientology. Yep--if Scientology didn't place a seed of doubt into mainstream media about the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of psychiatric drugs, we believe that Big Z, properly medicated, would never have gone bat sh*t crazy last Friday so, yes, L Ron, Tom Cruise and friends are to blame. As for punishment, not sure if it's "cartoonish" but we'd probably recommend quartering Big Z like in Ancient Rome and placing the four pieces of his body around Wrigley Field as a not-so-subtle reminder to Cubs players and Sigma Chi bleacher bums alike to behave accordingly...

As for Thunderdome, this is something that the TLFC has discussed and debated endlessly (see May 14 Post). Answer? Ted BAMF Lilly (aka Master Blaster). With Tina Turner singing in the background and TL's trusty hawk, Fury, watching from above, we forsee Ted (with a chainsaw at his side) emerging victorious w/ Sweet Lou's head on a spear.

And remember where you are - this is Thunderdome - death is listening, and will take the first man that screams.


Ginger Russ said...

Neither College of Idiots or Exile on Clark Street supports this post, thanks for asking.

John said...

Yeah, apparently I forgot about half the people from last year. And the entire thread of Cubs bloggers with which I associate. I'm clearly rusty ... um, Rusty. You'll get the next one.