Marlon Byrd: fisting the competition.
Well, we only had one player on the roster (again), and once again no Cub got a hit (D.Lee had one in 2007, and a couple in 2005), but damned if I wasn't proud of our contribution to last night's cathartic dumping of the AL and their manager, Joe Girardi, who clearly had a stroke at some point during the game. But hey, his blood on the brain led to a great chance for Byrd to throw out the slowest player on the AL roster. And that was really, really fucking cool.
"Ortiz is going for second! I only have 18, 19 seconds at the maximum..."
As much as the game doesn't matter (bullshit WS implications aside) and as much as I hate fan voting and the Home Run Derby and Chris fucking Berman, the fact remains that the MLB All Star Game is the one contest of its kind that's legitimately fun to watch every year. I hate basketball, hockey and football are all-offense affairs played so as to hurt no-one, and the MLS all star tilt pitches the league's all stars against an actual, honest-to-god European team treating it like an exhibition - depressing. But the last few years, we've gotten some exciting games from baseball, and I'm thrilled that the lone Cub (and the lone Cub we like) was at the center of two of the game's most important plays. Coming back from 0-2 against South Sider Matt Thornton to load the bases on a walk was huge. Throwing out David Ortiz from the outfield not only appealed to my geek love for outfield putouts, but also killed the AL's rally momentum from the inning-opening hit. Now he's ensured his team of home field advantage in the World Ser....HAHAHAHAHHAA. Sorry, I couldn't keep a straight face. Still, fun night all around.
Update: Let's see how long before MLB pulls this one - some great Byrd highlights here, including that laser throw.