Is a picture worth a thousand words if all of them are derivatives of "fail"?
The Pittsburgh Pirates are rightly held up as one of the crappiest, most depressing franchises currently operating in the National League. They're a pretty sure bet to finish this season with a losing record, making for a record 18 consecutive losing campaigns. They have 23 wins. EIGHT of them have come against the Cubs this season, including last night's awful, awful game. And you know what makes it worse? For some unholy reason, I felt compelled to watch the entire thing, front to back. And I did. And now all light and goodness has forsaken me. We now own a .300 winning percentage in the last ten games, and I'm here to tell you all about it.
Why? Shut up, that's why.
Join me, won't you? After the jump
Z Goes on Restricted List (i.e. Club Crazyfuck)
WAIW Activity Corner: Print this photo, cut Z out, put it in a prominent place, and tell it to shut the fuck up. You'll feel better.
So after some weird predictions all Monday that Zambrano would be back by the end of the week, it turns out that Hendo is instead throwing our "ace" to the Restricted List - a list for people so crazy that only Milton Bradley has been on it. Which isn't to say that what's happening with Zambrano is nearly as bad as Milton Bradley crying racist wolf and slagging his teammates and Our Fair City last year. But man, he really has been an asshole for awhile now. It's not charming fiery passion for the game with even Derrek Lee tells you to shut your ass. But hey, I'm sure Hendry and his team of sock puppets can cure in a couple weeks what Zambrano's been acting like for years. After all, Hendry's never made a stupid-ass move in his life.
Ron Santo Honored, Then Dishonored, With Cubs Game
In tribute to his amazing career with the Cubs, Santo was allowed to leave before the game started. He reported sleeping better than he has in ages.
Ron Santo night against the Pirates would have benefited by letting the legless legend take a few swings. The Pirates, a team that had lost 17 IN A ROW on the road, came in a swept the Cubs aside with pitching that may have been solid, or may have looked that way because it was the Cubs swinging bats at it. Colvin, Byrd, Ramirez, Soriano - all nowhere to be found. Apparently Paul Maholm is just that good. And if you believe that, then you're probably answering questions at a Cubs press conference.
I'm heading to Florida starting Wednesday, so I feel compelled to fit as much Cubs baseball into my life as possible beforehand. You know, to make sure I don't miss it or anything.