Cubs Media: Andre The Bat-Hucker

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Cubs Media: Andre The Bat-Hucker

. Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Seeing as how yesterday was an off day, we decided to move Cubs Media Monday to today, and give you a little treat for your recap-less day. Actually, I'm fairly certain that CMM appears more on other days of the week than it actually does on Monday. Either way, today's entry is some really, really good shit. It comes from this game (I love you, Baseball Reference), and portrays the Hawk in a way both terrifying and hysterical. Observe - I hope the entire video brings you back to WGN in the early '90s. Thing's like a time capsule:

That. Was. Awesome. And so out of place - the media (at least WGN) treats it as "wild," and doesn't try to manufacture a firestorm of controversy out of it. As a result, it seems like Hawk is more willing to loosen up, talk about it, and seemingly laugh at himself. Contrast this with EVERY ZAMBRANO INCIDENT EVER. Wouldn't it be nice to go back to the days when an onfield incident wasn't always the most world-shattering sign of doom in Chicago? Never going to happen.

Your second-by-second analysis, after the jump

0:01 - Gotta love the old VHS uploads. I'll see you in my screaming night terrors tonight, Old Staring Man!

0:15 - Holy fuck, young(er) Dan Roan is wearing the worst shirt in the history of the world. It looks like someone melted a bunch of parrots over him. Hipsters would pay $60 for that shirt right now in Bucktown.

0:29 - Mount Saint Dawson? This is why you try to leave the topical references out. Lame, Roan. YOU GOT SERVED!

0:48 - An incident involving Joe West? Shocking.

1:09 - Hey, it's Jim Essian!

1:19 - Bat tossin'! That is awesome. He's just Hawk-ing all those bats onto the field (ed. note: Pun via Steve, I'm so sorry)! That motherfucker can really throw an armful of bats. I am extremely impressed.

1:30 - I never realized this, but the Hawk could be terrifying when he wanted to.

1:31 - I really enjoy the voluminous but distinct cheers for each group of bats slung out of the dugout.

1:44 - Never been to a beer-tossin' game either, and I imagine I might not ever be. It's like throwing six bucks on the field. But damn, that's some bad-ass indignation.

2:00 - Rob Dibble throws at Doug Dascenzo's legs because Dibble can't parry the sacrifice attempt. What a dick. Or he's playing by schoolyard rules. He should have just yelled "pitcher's hand OUT!"

2:18 - I remain stunned by Roan's shirt. STUNNED.

2:34 - AHHHHHH! Don't say that he had a smile on his face and then cut to a video of him showing murder-eyes to the beat guy from CBS.

2:43 - HAHAHA. The awesomest bat-hucker ever to live said that Joe West wasn't being very professional. I love ya, Hawk, but that's delicious irony.

3:02 - Still, it's nice to see a time when an athlete didn't have to close up because the media had a bunch of "Dawson out of control!" columns half-written. He's beginning to see how funny it all was.

3:23 - "The incident with the bats" - positively Laconic.

3:30 - Ooooh, anyone who's ever hit or wanted to hit someone knows exactly the smirk he's talking about.

4:24 - We've switched to the White Sox. Normally I wouldn't advise continuing to watch, but listen for the phrase "the mighty Blue Jays." HA!

4:34 - Joey Cora looks like a Make-A-Wish kid on the field.

4:52 - The scoreboard puzzles me. Who is this "California" team?


Anonymous said...

Hey, thanks for posting this video. We have been looking all over the place for this one! Classic Andre'.