Crosstown Letdown

Oh no you didn't

It has been several years now since this Crosstown Classic started. This is the first year I can ever remember there being such a general feeling of apathy towards the matchup. I suppose it’s to be expected when you combine Hawks-mania with inferior baseball talent. With both teams struggling to reach .500, the whole thing felt like watching two fat people in a kayak race: you know you aren’t going to be watching skill but rather your morbid curiosity to see who fails less keeps you moderately interested. And so it happened: Sox took 2 out of 3, with the third game going to the Cubs. You will all read headlines dubbing this a “pitcher’s duel”, but in reality it was two teams that produce less than a pair of pre-teens on the latest Maury. Well let’s cut the umbilical cord and see what happened.

In hindsight, the KFC Double Down breakfast was not a good idea

Game 1 was completely overshadowed by the Hawks parade. By the time I got home from that, the Cubs were already getting their asses handed to them a la pre-Jonathan Brandis Ladybugs. Game 2 was closer, but the Cubs posed no real threat until late in the game. Game 3 saw 7+ innings of no-hit baseball, which the Cubs won 1-0. While an enjoyable game to watch, all joy was taken from me every time Joe Morgan opened his mouth (that’s what she said?).

Silva also starred in 'Swan Lake' before making the big leagues

So where are we? Soon baseball will be the sole sport going on. We will not be able to distract ourselves with anything but face the harsh reality that we are on pace for a 72 win season with our lone all-star being Carlos Silva. Oh well. I’ve lived through worse Cubs seasons and I will live through this one. Who cares anyway, the Hawks won the Cup.