Weekend Recap: Ranger Danger

Monday, May 24, 2010

Weekend Recap: Ranger Danger

. Monday, May 24, 2010

All shall fear Flying Demon Bat.

10 Things, Briefly

I'm feeling lazy today. That means a Top 10. I could see making this a weekly thing.

1. Since last Monday (Cubs OD day, if you recall), the Cubs have been putting together a pretty solid run. Minisweep, split with the 09 pennant winners, and a series victory over a really talented offensive Ranger team. This will make me just happy enough to hurt like a bastard when we drop another series to the Astros.

2. I know I've hit this subject pretty hard, but Carlos Silva - what the fuck? Way to make me look stupid.

3. Soto's slump has his average down in the .260s, but his OBP is at .425. Meanwhile, Fukudome is at .303 and .400. Do I smell a Freaky Friday?

4. So I spent yesterday really confused that Koyie Hill and Soto were both batting. I curse thee interleague play! Also cursed: my own stupidity. This was the third game I'd caught over the weekend.

5. Did you know that you can totally just embed an entire episode of Intervention? Check it out, this guy is an alcoholic, but for peppermint schnapps. Like an alcoholic Christmas elf.

Five more, after the jump

I'd smirk too, if it were me.

6. Fucking Howry pitched yesterday. Just a walk - still got the hold - but that is only a dim warning. Like thunder before the storm comes - and then during the storm, someone kicks you right in the balls.

7. Starlin Castro better stop this shit. He's going to get us all hopeful and then pull an Alexei Ramirez next year. And don't say I didn't tell you so.

8. So Ramirez is hurt(ish), the offense frequently lacks punch, and people have started murmirings of Josh Vitters. These people have clearly not seen where he is getting on base at a .298 clip in Tennessee. Our Special Correspondent advises a trade. I am not going to disagree.

9. My second "what the fuck" goes to Soriano. I mean, what the hell, man? Between him and Silva - not to mention Ramirez sucking - I clearly know about as much about the Cubs as any jackass off the street. WAIW: Your source for poorly-informed Cubs analysis.

Something bad happened. Or good. Or he saw a squirrel. I got nothing.

10. Marmol's scary face is the same one we make when the first batter goes up 3-0. But damn if those strikeouts don't make the senses tingle.


wolfie said...

Can I say it?


John said...