Every time I feel bad about making so many comparisons between Gorezelanny and Sloth, I see a picture like this.
Good lord, we aren't very accomplished at playing baseball this year. It's getting ... if not ugly, at least kind of sad. We're well on our way to losing a series to every team in the division, and it's not even mid-May yet. The only reason we haven't yet is that (a) Milwaukee has decided we're Kryptonite and (b) we haven't played the Cardinals yet. But the Pirates, Reds, and Astros haven't shown any problems with us. We suck. It's just kind of how it is. Eh, what are you gonna do?
For those who say "Starlin Castro is just a prospect, not Jesus Christ in a Cubs uniform," I present: PHOTO EVIDENCE.
But hey, how about the youngest shortstop in Cubs history? That was beautiful. Friday's debut was the thing of a poorly-plotted Disney movie, and he managed a hit each of the next two days. Not bad at all for a kid who can't drink yet and who isn't exactly known for being a patient hitter.
"Now kid, I don't want you watchin' none of them Freddy Kruger movies. Gives ya the nightmares."
Now is clearly a good time to focus obsessively on a single player - better that than the team as a whole. Certainly all the increased scrutiny didn't hurt Rich Hill, Felix Pie, or Corey Pa ... okay, I'm going to stop. I'm making myself sad.
Holy crap, that is a young kid. Don't break him, Cubs fans.
Ah, you know what? Hell with it. I'm still down for this season. A summer with a crappy Cubs team is still the perfect comment to the best season in the greatest city in the world. I've got a pair of tickets to Friday's and Saturday's game - against the Pirates - and for once, the outcome seems quite a suspenseful prospect. Weird, yes. But I'm not going to say bad. I'll save that for screaming on Friday and Saturday.