That'll leave him Sore-iano. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHA
Friends and neighbors, dark days have befallen us. After a nice little sweep of the Rockies, there were unwholesome grumblings regarding the re-signing of a certain dessicated bag of crap who used to undeservedly wear the pinstripes of our beloved Cubs. It has clearly shaken the valiant North Siders, as even the rumor of such a thing was enough to dash our hopes at a series victory against the defending Pennant winners.
The Japanese do not have a word for Howry. It translates roughly to "octopus rape."
That Jimmy Rollins move - what the fuck was that? Walk his ass. Clearly you put the guy on base and take your chances with Ibanez. And what happens after that? Ibanez goes down on strikes like Todd Hundley in a batting cage. Do you know why Sweet Lou decided to go ahead and let Dempster do his best Kevin Foster impression? It's because Lou was sitting there on the bench, seething about how Douchey McShitarm is going to be announced to the team one of these days.
Entrance song? Oooooolllllld Maaaaaaaaannnn Riiiiiiiiiiiverrrrrrrr ....
New at WAIW, starting whenever they sign that mummified bastard to the team: The Bob Howry factor. We'll examine each game through the lens of how Howry fucked up the game, or how the team valiantly resisted his influence, a la Father Damien taking a header down the stairs in The Exorcist. Too much Bob Howry, and I'll be taking a header of my own. I can't believe I'm un-retiring his fucking tag.