Aramis ... bad. Silva ... good? [Eats shotgun]
How about Fatty McPitcherson? He was supposed to be the shit sandwich we had to eat to get rid of Milton Bradley. Now Bradley is on some secret MLB list of fucking nutbags - a one-man list, might I add - and Silva has secured himself a spot in the rotation for the moment. He is 4-0. FOUR AND FUCKING OH. I didn't think he'd get four by the end of June. Or maybe ever. Face it - he sucked with Seattle, and was a gigantic disappointment. And yet still he outshines Milton Bradley. We may be bad, but I'm swimming in spite. And that'll do for now.
Zambrano pitching in relief - poorly - is a sign of the Lovecraftian Elder Gods coming back to Earth to sear the planet in their terrible vengeance.
Speaking of Z, the man himself had another bizarre bullpen outing, getting the hold while allowing a hit, walking a man, and getting a strikeout. It's like he's decided the bullpen performances have to be a microcosm of his bewildering starts. Marmol had to come in to save the 8th, which left no one to come in and save the 9th. The Marmot almost gave up the game, leading to the tying run on second with Hanley Ramirez at the plate. Luckily, he flipped the filthy switch and left Ramirez and his fancy necklace crying that they couldn't quite complete the sweep.
We are contractually obligated to run a photo of Starlin Castro with every game story. Every Cubs blog is.
Offensively? Well, we had four runs. The depressing part is that it seems impressive stacked up against recent results. Castro/Byrd/Lee was an excellent 2-3-4, each of them going 2-4. The bottom of the order was meh, and Soriano fell off a bit, going 1-3. A mere .333 average. What happened, Fonzie? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? (It's nice to be sarcastic about his play in a good way).
Marmol pronounces "Oh my, that's a relief" like "WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHH"
Today - no game. Suddenly, I feel empty. Following that, WAIW Special Correspondent Conrad Bradburn is in town for the Friday and Saturday tilts against the Pirates. Expect lots of drunken flip cam footage. Hopefully we can pull at least a win or two against the Pirates. I cannot believe I just had to say that.