Image courtesy of Jake at EOC. It's called "Untitled Map 3: Fuck Yes I Want Another Beer. What Do I Look Like, Some Pansy-Ass Reds Fan?"
As I look over that Facebook that you kids all seem to love, I see that there are a staggering 79 of you confirmed to come, along with 71 of you who can't make up your fool minds. That is a shitload of people. It's staggering, stirring, stupefying ... and other Don King words. Combine that with tomorrow's forecast (superb for April) in both Cincy and Chicago, and suffice to say that shit is going to be on. Just remember,
Thy 2010 WAIW Pub Crawl Ground Commandments
1. Cash. At every bar. You start a tab, you get shanked with a sharpened toothbrush.
2. If you finish your drink with an out or two left in the bottom of the inning, get thyself to the next bar. 70 people trying to enter a bar at once isn't a pretty sight.
3. Have your ID at the ready for every bar. Especially if you're wearing pigtails and a Hello, Kitty! backback. Wolfie, this means you.
4. We've got koozies and a minimal amount of shirts for sale tomorrow. Exact change, por favor.
5. If you can take pictures, do. If you can Twitter, do it more and more as you get less and less qualified to operate heavy machinery. All documentation of the crawl will make our post-crawl wrap-up.
6. Don't start drinking liquor at the first bar and end up acting like a sorority freshman at her first college party. We will not put you in a cab. Perhaps a dumpster, though.
7. When it comes time for the Steve vs. John HBP Batting Challenge at Slugger's, be sure to heckle. The only forbidden topic: my mongrel Irish blood, and Steve's secret Dutch love-child.
8. Have a drink at each bar (ahem ... responsibly) and make it all the way to the end. Alternately, go to hell.
In the spirit of the circus of liver failure that is tomorrow, I've spent the last week pimping it as hard as I could on the Cubs podcasts kind enough to have me. Corey from Ivy Envy, who is attending with his wife, had me on last Friday. Little did he know that I'd been ... GASP! ... drinking! Listen to it here. Those guys put together an amazing show on a regular basis. Julie from A League of Her Own - who chose the wedding of close friends over the bar crawl of people she's only met on the Internet (I know, right? But you have to let people make their own mistakes) - had me on for a quick segment during my lunch today. Give it a listen here. A ChicagoNow podcast is as close as I'm ever going to get to WGN - they still don't allow the Irish, you see. Lousy McCormick.
See you bunch of drunks bright and early tomorrow. Go Cubs Go!