Fukudome: A Bizarro Tom Selleck in "Mr. Baseball."
This is getting insane. For the third year in a row, Kosuke Fukudome has brought death and ruin unto our enemies. He's like an even-keel Angel of Death out there every Spring. This is exactly why I love Fukudome despite his Julys, Augusts, and Septembers. The good memories always outweigh the bad. I mean, come on - one of my favorite underperforming Cubs won the game off of everyone's least underperforming former Cub. It will never get old to see LaTroy blow leads at Wrigley, because, as Winston Churchill used to say, fuck that guy.
More fake Churchill, after the jump
Alright, we're not mad at you ... today."
Enjoyable as the game was, it wasn't at all easy to listen to. Randy Wells was saved from one of those explosive 4-HR outings by the grace of God and a stiff wind blowing in. They hit him hard, but have jack to show for it. I will try and remember this the next time we smack around a starter and end up losing the game anyway. Of course, we won't be putting LaTroy out there to try and tack down a game. What kind of sad bastard gets the first two outs with bases empty and walks the next two guys? The kind of guy who thinks a lack of control on the mound and in the locker room implies racism by Cubs fans. Thanks for the game, LaTroy!
All the fielding skills of the finest DH.
Also brutal? Soriano in left. Most years, he at least makes a show of increased defensive effort early on in the season. This year he's going more with the Adam Smith "Invisible Hand" fielding style. Tom Emanski weeps ... from the grave? Let me check. Nope, still alive. And, according to the ever-reliable Wikipedia, worth $75 million (yeah, citation definitely needed). Soriano got pulled to a cacaphony of boos, because his fielding makes him the equivalent of the crappy right-fielder on your little league team. You hide him, but eventually the ball's going to come to him, and you just hope you survive.
Marmol - assuring us early on that this "Kevin Gregg" we keep talking about was just a nightmare. Now go back to sleep. Marmol's here, baby.
But hey, this was one of the best April games I can remember. I may have been stuck listening to WGN at work, but you best believe I caught the last inning from my car. Beautiful weather, Fukudomination, and a series win against the hated Brewers is more than enough for a rewarding afternoon.