Pub Crawl? Oh, You'd Best Believe Pub Crawl.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Pub Crawl? Oh, You'd Best Believe Pub Crawl.

. Wednesday, February 10, 2010

WAIW freelance designer extraordinaire Lori did her best - her work has clearly slipped since last year. I think she's on the heroin.

Ladies and gentlemen of the esteemed WAIW readership community: It's about to be on for a second time. After careful deliberation, Steve and I have agreed upon Saturday, April 10, 2010, as the date of the 2nd Annual (we can call it that now) Wasting Away in Wrigleyville Pub Crawl. It's a noon game against the Reds, so light drinkers, tea-totaling pansies, and the elderly need not apply.

"Who likes fuuuuun!?! And having the shakes on a Sunday morning?"

The plan remains the same as ever - after a pregame base-laying (gotta lay that base), we will hit 9 bars in 9 innings, making the event a sublime combination of speed and stamina. If you're asking if it's really possible to get a few dozen progressively drunker Cubs fans from one bar to the next in time to snag a beer, drink a beer, and catch some ball, then yes, it is indeed possible. Even better, the liveblogging gets progressively more entertaining with each passing inning.

Your humble authors - early on, judging by the reasonable level of focus in the eyes. And that's not a man purse full of koozies - it's a satchel full of skulls.

We will, as ever, have shirts and koozies available for purchase by those good gentlemen and gentlewomen who make the trip. We will also continue the tradition of my parents drinking 25 year olds under the table after being the first ones to show up. It's a celebration, dammit.

But what of your favorite venues? We'll have that part up for a bit of discussion. Let's review the veterans, and I'll give my thoughts on their chances, after the jump.

The Venues

Pre-game: Lucky's Sandwich Co. - I see no reason to change the meeting point. Their sandwiches are delicious, filling, and the bar is spacious (or should be if the Man v. Food crowd has finally dropped dragging their damn toddlers there).

We're diverse at the WAIW crawl, and accept all ethnicities. Goofy white dude, for instance.

1st Inning: The Dark Horse - The first candidate for change. Last year, they didn't really get what we were doing. The Pittsburgh Penguins were on all the televisions, and they spent most of the first inning setting up an outdoor projector. Then it rained and we left. Screw that.

2nd Inning: Merkle's - I have little memory of this stop, and not in a drunken way. I'm not tied to the place, but it does give everyone a chance to explain "Merkle's Boner," through girlish giggles.

3rd Inning: Mullen's - A WAIW classic. We will brook no disagreement with the mandatory nature of The Mull.

4th Inning: Slugger's - Steve's Pub Crawl career numbers: 0-0, HBP. Yep, the man got hit by a pitch, in the groin, on the slow pitch softball setting. The possibility of hilarious groin injury means we're definitely recreating the scene. Come one, come all, see WAIW drunkenly take a pitch in the nards!

5th Inning: Harry Caray's - Better than I expected last year, but I could take it or leave it. Plenty of room for pub crawlers, but it's more of a day-tripper destination.

6th Inning: The Dugout - They weren't even open last year until we asked politely (and told them they could make a few hundred bones for 25 minutes of work). Their excellent management - and their divey basement dive bar - will be back for a second year.

7th Inning: Murphy's Bleachers - Steve met Rick Sutcliffe there, who informed him that Mark Grace used to slump-bust above the premises. We. Are. Going. Back.

8th Inning: Casey Morans - I could take it or leave it, but it was right next door to, in my opinion, the high point of last year....

(drum roll)

9th Inning: Bernie's - Fuck yeah, Bernies! The place where we not only got a second wind after nine innings of losing to the Cards, but stayed for an additional 7 hours to play shuffleboard (I DEMAND A REMATCH, WOLFIE!) and watch the Hawks down the Flames in last year's playoffs. I'm thinking we've got to do Bernie's.

Where champions are ... shuffling about, going to the bathroom every six minutes

That covers last year's roster. Stay tuned for possible new venues and our trenchant thoughts on the ins and outs of each tavern. We, uh, drink a lot... and we hope you will too. Sound fun? Drop us an email and get the regular e-mail updates.


Corey said...

Prize for furthest traveled?
I'm coming 174.4 miles for this party.

John said...

There is, but I'm not sure you want it. It's an awkward HJ by Steve while Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You" plays over the bathroom speakers at a suburban Buffalo Wild Wings.

What? Oh, I'm the weird one now?

Chip Wesley said...

I'll alert the TMS Crew.

Chip Wesley said...

Also, Sluggers to Harry Caray's? Did you guys run between innings?

John said...

Actually, that wasn't the toughest part. Murphy's to Moran's, we did flat-out haul ass.

KD said...

Man, if it wasn't my niece's first birthday that weekend, I'd consider making the trip from St. Louis.

I WILL, however, be relying on the fantastic live blogging! Cracked my ass up last year! :)

Corey said...

I'll take it, John. The only good handjob is an awkward handjob.

wolfie said...

I guess that means I won a game of shuffle board that day - well got it! Bring your best game sucker!

Also, I seem to remember a stroke of genius that hit us last year - please print the scoreboard on the t-shirt upside down so I can look down at my shirt and know where I am more easily. Not sure if you remembered that too.

John said...

Remember something? From the Pub Crawl? You've always been quite the hilarious chap, Wolfie.