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Highlights Magazine Kidz Activity: Circle 5 racisms in this picture.
If there is one thing that we've learned from last night's victory, it's that losses and wins against the Nationals are not necessarily equal. Likely, we'll forget last night's (eventual) ass-beating of the Nats fairly quickly. Yet it's going to take some serious Wild Turkey abuse to scrub off the stink of Tuesday's game. That doesn't exactly seem fair to me, but hey, I never was very good at algebra.
Analysis and therapy after the jump. The kind an analrapist would provide.
Remember what I said about Theriot in the leadoff spot? Well, he's now 1-9 against the Nationals as the leadoff man. I'm going to take this opportunity to gloat before he has a 4-4 game and makes me look like an asshole. Err ... more of an asshole.
"Congratulations. You have graduated from 'piece of shit' back to 'ballplayer'"
I'd talk about Milton Bradley's great night at the plate, but I'm afraid that I'll be accused of being racist. I'll reiterate my stance - if racist abuse ever, EVER happens at Wrigley, then the perpetrator needs to be forcibly fisted by one of the hairy Greek guys who hang out on the street in front of my apartment. But I've been to more games than I can count over the years, and I have yet to hear a single slur. And a great many people have expressed the same sentiment. I'm not calling Milton Bradley a liar, but his timing is odd, and he does have one big-ass persecution complex.
Fukudome is seen here using a modernist-influenced bat. They're all the rage in Japan.
There's really only one regular outfielder on this team to like - my man Kosuke Fukudome. It's late august, and he's on base at a nearly .400 clip. He's overpaid as hell, but if this team wasn't falling apart, he'd be recognized as having had a solid year.
Is it the height of ridiculousness to suggest that we use Grabow instead of Marmol in the setup role? I know that we're not exactly burning up the division, but presumably, we're still playing to win. And Marmol is not fixing whatever's wrong this year.
Nice graphic last night - Soto and Soriano are both in the top 5 for lowest batting average (confusing, I know) for the National League in the month of August. That is just so fucking sad. Remember last year? When we had hope and the world was filled with joy and puppies?
In lieu of my usual Crimes Against Commerce observations, I just want to point out that all the work of the greatest intellects in history has led up to this. Someone had to invent fucking math, then computing machines, then make them affordable to the everyday gent, then make them portable. All so that I could send these birthday wishes. America, Fuck Yeah!
And please join me in wishing a happy birthday to Steve. 26 years of suffering, if I recall correctly.
Ever feel like you've been running the same picture of Zambrano the entire season?
Ho-lee-shit. I have this ritual, every year, where I pointedly exclaim that we'll be winning the world series up until the point we're mathematically eliminated. After last night's display of what I can only invent the word "Rockbottomery" for, I'm reconsidering my long-held stance on the matter. Forgive me if I doubt our World Series chances after a curb-stomping by the most pathetic franchise in Major League Baseball. But ... we're still going to win the World Series. Sorry. I can't quit that fast.
Anyhow, remember my Punch-Out post of the other day? Well, I can beat Glass Joe. You can beat Glass Joe. My grandmother, who can't even operate her cable box half the time, can beat Glass Joe. But you know who can't? Carlos Zambrano. As a child, I had always wondered at Mr. Joe's 1-99 record. Who could he possibly have beaten? I suppose we have our answer. And it was first-round TKO, at that.
Tales of woe and hardship, after the jump
As much as everyone who gets paid to write in this town gets their panties in a bunch over Z's behavior - too selfish, too emotional, too Venezuelan, whatever - I don't often get pissed with the man. What I do get pissed about is when he pitches like ass. So yes, I'm temporarily pissed at our man Z. But I'm not using last night's result to suggest that there's something fundamentally wrong with him as a baseball player, or a human being. He came off the DL and got rocked by a crappy team. Shit happens. Ominously, these losses are starting to mean less and less. Me, I'm just wondering how cheap I'll be able to get a ticket to Wrigley in September. Methinks the speculation market has succumbed to its own autoerotic asphyxiation. Upside? Fewer douches with girl glasses and arm bands.
Observations From Rock Bottom
Aaron Howry ... I mean, Bobby Heilman. Wait. LaTroy Heil ... oh, nevermind. My point being, fuck this guy.
- What the fuck, Lou? Why is Theriot leading off? That never ends well. Bradley got 4 hits, and Fukudome 2, but God forbid we should use a lineup that works and place those two next to each other.
- Have we yet won a game this season in which we pinch hit Aaron Miles? I mean, I'm sure at one point we've subbed him in, and then won, but when you're pinch hitting that stupid fucking Hobbit, you've gotta be pretty sure you're not hearing "Go Cubs Go" later on.
- HEILMAN, YOU ARE A FATTY! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. It's a great nation where a worthless shit reliever can give up a grand slam and only be charged for 1 run. Good thing Hendry took a flier on the guy.
- Sean Marshall, doing his best to avoid that "good reliever" tag. At least now we don't have to wonder why he sucks as a starter and excels in the pen. Now he just sucks all over.
- Say it ain't so, Sloth!
- Let's not blame all this on Z. Yes, let's blame a great deal of it on Z, but not all. Our pricey lineup can't hit Nationals pitching until we're officially getting fisted? Fuck that. This team can be frustrating sometimes, and just plain pathetic other times.
- I got my first piece of DC shit talk (sort of, "That game was awesome! We don't get much to brag about in DC") on my Facebook wall this morning. One man's joyous evening is another's rock bottom.
We at WAIW are lucky enough to be acquainted with the operators of a bunch of excellent Cubs blogs. Every Friday throughout the 2009 season, we're going to bring as many of them as we can together to share their thoughts on being Cubs fans. This week - I send out the question late, and get kicked in the ass for it.
Clearly, there will be some changes made after the season. Some players have been solid performers (Wells, Lee) and some need to be burned and sent to hell (Gregg, Bradley, pretty much anyone playing 2nd). Who have you been most pleased with this season, and who would you like to see out the door?
Now here's the thing. I usually try to send these out on Monday or Tuesdays. That usually leads to me actually sending it out on Wednesday morning. This time, I sent it out on Thursday, and you could predict how that would end. Big thanks to Waxpaperbeercup for the lone response. WPBC has been providing excellent responses all season, and this one is no different. It's just that this week, it's the best by default.
WPBC
No surprise, I'm happy with the resurgence of DLee. He really has been this teams best position player this season after a few down seasons. It's been fun to watch considering the fact that early in the year, many of us (myself included) thought he might be done. Remember the calls for Micah Hoffpauir to play everyday at first. Boy does that look stupid now. Wells has been a great story, but I really question if this is the high water mark for Wells? I imagine it is. If it were me, I'd look to deal him during the offseason.
Where to begin on the disappointments. Let's start with the corner outfielders. I'm actually one of a few fans that actually likes both players. I think it just ended up being down years for both guys for whatever the reasons. Alfonso Soriano is having the worst season of his big league career. He's swinging and missing at everything on the outside corner, his speed is gone, and the defense is bad by even his low standards. I actually liked the Milton Bradley signing. I thought his left handed bat would be a nice addition to the team in the middle of the lineup. I think he's improved of late, but still the number that just shocks me is 31 RBi on August 20. Thirty-one. That's horrendous. I'm also disappointed in Ryan Dempster. He had a career year in a contract year and now he's back to being Ryan Dempster... go figure.
All of this being said, I don't deal either of these guys, and they can't Fonzie or Dempster. As a cub fans, I hope that both come back and play better next season. I really see next year probably as the Cubs last season whee they have a good chance to win with this group of players. I think the window of opportunity is closing, hopefully they can keep it open for just one more season.
Sorry, no jump. I shall be more vigilant this coming week.
For the second time in as many years, the WAIW company picnic was held at the Jimmy Buffett concert at Toyota Park on Saturday. Your intrepid author, as pictured above, donned an apron, because I am so manly that if I don't tone it down a little with the Hausfrau accessory, your eyeballs might explode. Steve expressed his masculinity in a different manner.
I've just received word that we're in the running for the title of "Whitest Guys Ever." Once Steve gets his CPA certification, we're sure to run away with it. Anyhow, this annual company picnic/tailgate/drinkstravaganza coincided with our 500th post. Just think, we've now wasted measurable hours of your life that you can never get back. You're welcome.
Ladies and gents of the WAIW bretheren, we would like to take this opportunity to thank you for reading this blog despite our refusal to copy edit, ramble less, or cut down on our generous use of the word fuck. Your participation is often the best part of weeks where we pick up 1 win. Misery, after all, loves company. So keep reading, and we'll keep looking for excuses to use phrases like "Thunderdouche," "Fuckface," and "Clown Sex." It's the best thing for both of us.
We at WAIW are lucky enough to be acquainted with the operators of a bunch of excellent Cubs blogs. Every Friday throughout the 2009 season, we're going to bring as many of them as we can together to share their thoughts on being Cubs fans. This week - our favorite and least favorite announcers.
Personally, I enjoy listening to the game broadcasts on the radio, no matter who's calling the game that night. I even bought one of those expensive-ass time delay radios so I could sync up the game and the TV. Len and Bob are pretty enjoyable as well. Who is your favorite Cubs broadcaster, either on TV or radio, of all time?
If you pick Harry Caray, as I'm sure a lot of you will, then give us a good story about your memories of the man.
Also, who was the worst? Let's not pretend they've all been good ones.
Ace
When he was in the Cubs' booth - emphasis on WHEN HE WAS IN THE CUBS' BOOTH - it never got better than Steve Stone. As gigantic a douche as he's become, there's no denying that he knew his shit. I loved Stone with Chip Caray, and I also loved him with Thom Brennaman. Of course, Brennaman subsequently also became a huge douche, so what do I know?
WPBC
This is a fun question, John. I'm a radio geek when it comes to baseball. As much as I loved Jack Brickhouse and Harry and Steve on the television side of things, I have probably spent much more time listening to the Cubs on the radio. On the radio side I go all the way back to Vince and Lou doing the games. I really enjoyed listening to Vince Lloyd call a Cubs game. But I would have to say that my favorite Cubs announcer is the current radio pbp man Pat Hughes. Pat calls an outstanding game. Him and Ron Santo make the bad Cub games bearable, and I think Pat does a nice job working with Ron which would be a challenge for many announcers.
I enjoy Pat call a game so much that I have to admit, I barely listen to Len and Bob anymore. So I can't really give a critique of them.
My least favorite Cubs announcer was probably Milo Hamilton. Milo was not a bad listen, I just hated his bashing of Harry Caray after he had died. I'm sorry, he may have had a point but I just thought it was in real bad taste. After that, I could care less for Milo Hamilton.
Chip Wesley
I don't have a best but Joe Carter was certainly the worst. Just unbearable as a color commentator. Although it did lead to the best unintentional comedy moment in the booth. In 2002 with Jim McMahon up in the WGN booth with them, Joe Carter had the following exchange.
Joe Carter: "So is Pete Rozelle (former NFL commish) still giving you grief for wearing the headbands during your Super Bowl season?"
Jim McMahon: "Well, actually Mr. Rozelle has been dead for several years now."
Maybe you should sit out the next couple of plays Joe.....
More exultation and excoriation of Cubs broadcasting, after the jump
Jen
Ronnie Santo! A good commentator will describe the play but Ron makes you FEEL it. While it's true he could never put on a solo show ala Vin Scully, Ron is the wax paper cup to an Old Style - it's just not the same without him. When I hear fans with the opposite opinion, I'm just like, "Awwww, jeez".
Personally I've always thought the Cubs have had above-average broadcasters, something I didn’t fully appreciate until I added Extra Innings to my cable package. I attributed this to WGN and its national coverage…so can someone explain to why Hawk Harrelson has a job?
Jay
I'd like to go a different direction just so everyone doesn't answer the same, but how do you go against Harry Caray? Any man that can ask "how does a guy from the Dominican lose a ball in the sun?" has to be the hands down winner. If someone said that today they'd be fired within the hour but somehow Harry could say things like that and it would sound charming. He also earns bonus points for "allegedly" schtooping the daughter-in-law of Cardinals owner August A. Busch, Jr and for conducting the seventh inning stretch during a time I actually looked forward to it.
As far as the worst, there are a lot of candidates. I remember the '89 season when the radio team was Dewayne Staats and Dave Nelson. I used to walk home from school listening to the games on my walkman and I remember Dave Nelson being absolutely brutal to listen to. The worst in recent memory though has to be Joe Carter. Joe took over the first time Steve Stone left in 2001 and I remember thinking I would never be able to watch a Cubs game on TV ever again.
Ted Lilly Fan Club
Maybe it's because our Sanka machine broke this am, maybe it's because the Commerce Department reported that retail sales fell 0.1 percent last month (despite forcasts from TLFC economists of a .7 percent gain) or maybe we're just upset that the death rattle is beginning to shake for the Cubbies but we're in no mood for spotlight the "best of" anything right now.
Instead, as we take out our shoelaces and belts for safety purposes, we'd like to simply focus on the three worst announcers. Gold Medal Winner? Joe Buck. Sure, technically, he isn't a full-time Cubs announcer but hearing him on Fox Baseball makes us want to punch ourselves in the sack and repeat as necessary. Silver Medal Winner? Dave Otto. Like Buck, he wasn't a fulltime announcer when he filled in for Stoney (who we like) but how did he get a broadcasting gig? He was 10-22 lifetime as a pitcher w/ a 5+ ERA. Bronze Medal Winner? Brenley--b/c of that mustache (note to Bob: you're not Magnum PI) and b/c every story/anecdote ends up with him talking about his Arizona D'Backs team from 2001.
Prozac anyone?
Cubbiejulie
I thought DeWayne Staats was really terrific. I loved listening to him and Steve Stone together. I'm too young to remember Jack Brickhouse. Saying Harry is my favorite broadcaster is like saying Michael Jordan is my favorite Bull or Payton was my favorite Bear. So obvious.
I'll toss in my own Harry story, though. When I was 16, I was waiting for a friend outside Cubs Con when Harry pulled up in a towncar. I grabbed my camera and asked someone to take a photo of me, then ran over and stood next to Harry. He put his arm around me, which was great. . . then put his hand on my ass, which was not. At the time I was all upset, but not I think it's hilarious.
Worst ever? Can I say Judd Sirott? He even sounds like he annoys Ron. Second worst ever? Joe Carter.
Corey
For the last few years, I have really grown to like Bob Brenly and that appreciation has exploded this year. I can look past his lame jokes, and contrary to the opinions of many of my family members, I feel that he gives pretty good analysis of the game. Yeah, he mentions that he was a player and manager a lot, but guess what, he was hired to give analysis from the prospective of a player or manager. Also, lately, I have liked his willingness to call out the poor play and laziness of guys like Soriano. As a fan, I appreciate that in a commentator. It's really nice to hear someone acknowledge what frustrates me.
Now to the worst broadcaster - I know I'm in the minority, but I can't be alone here. I can't stand listening to Ron Santo. His analysis is non-existent, as is his ability to form a complete sentense, most of the time. Look, I've got nothing against the guy. He is what I am, a fan. I think I would have a much better appreciation for him if there were three people in the booth (although this rarely works) and he was allowed to just sit back and root, rather than try to give any bit of analysis.
As you may have heard, the beer-throwing dick from the bleachers finally turned himself in to the CPD. His name is Johnny Macchione, and unbelievably, his Facebook page is still open to the public. I'm fairly certain that will change soon. If it's not set to private when you read this, then go ahead and look in his photo album. I swear, it's like the fall catalog for some douchebaggy department store from hell. I really did think about posting some here, but that would be crossing the line. You know, like throwing a beer onto a baseball player and then running away while your friend gets arrested.
But you know what? It could be construed as a fairly cowardly thing to just sit on my couch and type insults until it's time to get some breakfast tacos and coffee. So unlike Johnny Doucheionne, I'll go ahead and put my money where my mouth is. For the kids.
Find out what I'm talking about, after the jump
I, John from WAIW, formally challenge Johnny Macchione, noted douche, to gentlemanly fisticuffs. I feel it's necessary to preserve the honor of the Cubs fanbase. All those days that real fans sit until the end 11-2 losses, all our time and effort documenting the highs and lows of the team we love, all the friends and good times we've made because of the team we love, besmirched by some sweatband-wearing girl glasses wearing dick. He's no more a Cubs fan than I am a Samoan fisherman. I would also bet my W flag that he ran his mouth like a big man after he escaped, only to suddenly become what I call "Press Conference Sorry" when someone tracked it back to him.
So, Johnny, if you happen to read obscure Cubs blogs, then please consider the challenge. We'll meet at a proper gym, use the big gloves for awkward white guys, and generally make for an awesome spectacle. If we could somehow get a beer license, it'd be a fucking bonanza. Some preliminary ground rules.
1. No performance-enhancing substances. This includes whiskey for me (angries up the blood), and any combination of Jager and Red Bull for you (bro).
2. 3 rounds, 1 minute each. I know you're a young guy, but some of us have been eating weekly at Portillo's.
3. We give all proceeds to JDRF. Some good should come out of you being a moron and me possibly embarrassing myself yet again on the field of athletic competition. Enough people think you're a douche that I'm fairly certain we could cure juvenile diabetes through through this event.
4. No entrance music. I promised myself I'd never hear Limp Bizkit again if I could help it.
5. To the bar afterwards! I'd like to teach you to drink a beer without turning into a moron and throwing it. It's called "being a damn grown-up."
So there it is. The gauntlet is thrown - for charity, and for honor. Now we play the waiting game
...
...
The waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Surely there's a reason that we waited until Tuesday to recap the Cubs/Rockies series. Likely, because we're both feeling a bit lazy. But even more likely, because we hoped that we'd at least be writing about a series split by waiting until Tuesday. But no, the old, infuriating Cubs are at least temporarily back, and I'm running out of ways to say "curses!" without shaving my head, growing a handlebar mustache, and building a Doomsday Machine to conquer the Earth. So instead of crushing the planet 'neath the feet of my unholy wrath, let's play a game of Good Series/Bad Series:
Good Series - Kosuke Fukudome
You know what's not a good sign for a 4-game series? When your weakest-hitting outfielder provides the most consistent (6H, 4R, 1HR) offense - and he only plays 3 games. Good sign for me, though, as I retain irrational love for Fukudome.
Bad Series - Aramis Ramirez
"This strikeout is the worst thing that can possibly happen! Wait, did you hear a snapping noise?"
Aaaaaaand, injured again. At least now we can exhale. In rage.
More just like this, but way awesomer, after the jump
Being a pitching coach at Coors Field is like being a chef at an Old Country Buffet. You just have to look on in slack-jawed horror.
Good Series - Angel Guzman/Carlos Marmol/Kevin Gregg
This is truly a well-rested trio.
Bad Series - Geovany Soto
I know he's been injured and such, but his swing looked rustier than Joe Morgan's vagina.
Good Series - Ryan Theriot
He might run the bases like Helen Keller after downing a case of cough syrup, but he performed well in the leadoff spot, getting himself on base and allowing the rest of the team opportunities to disappoint.
Bad Series - Carlos Zambrano/Sean Marshall
The Chicago media's sick obsession with anything mildly newsworthy about Z continues. Fucking get over it, guys. I'm sorry he's volatile, and that he won't give you an HJ just because you work for Tribune Company.
As for Lefty, I can't even be mad at the guy. We know he sucks as a starter. Likely, he knows he sucks as a starter. But someone had to start, and that someone was probably going to get shellacked. Coors Field is like playing in a fucking video game park. Who better to undergo this abuse than the guy who can be counted on to make the bullpen go at least 5 every time he starts?
Good Series - Milton Bradley
Yes, this is what he looks like during a weekend of successful, average-raising hitting. So maybe he's just a permanent a-hole.
"Permanently 2-hole this man. Now."
The above quote was originally said by my brother in support of Milton Bradley's new place in the lineup. Instead, I thought he was quoting Deliverance.
Bad Series - Aaron Heilman/Jeff Samardzija
Scene rendered 65 percent less pathetic by digital removal of "Hang in There, Kitty" poster
These guys went out there and did what they do - gave up hits and runs, and contributed to the general malaise of Cubs fans.
Or at least I thought that Samardzija had a bad series. Now I hear that he's starting on Wednesday. That's like when I farted at work and got promoted to VP of Public Relations *.
*(Note: did not happen)
Big series against the Phillies next, and today is Ryne Sandberg bobblehead day. You'd best believe we'll be at the park good and early.
We at WAIW are lucky enough to be acquainted with the operators of a bunch of excellent Cubs blogs. Every Friday throughout the 2009 season, we're going to bring as many of them as we can together to share their thoughts on being Cubs fans. This week - thoughts on the post-All Star Cubs.
Are you buying this hot streak the Cubs are on lately? Who do you think is going to be the most important player for the remainder of the regular season?
Jen
I'm buying it. They're scoring runs, which was really all they were missing in the first half - and had to happen eventually (or so we kept saying). As for the most important player for the rest of the season…well, I'm torn. The obvious choice is, of course, Rami the RBI machine and the King Midas touch he brings to the roster. Arguments could also be made for D-Lee, Riot or even Randy Wells. And don't forget - with Aaron Miles coming back, how can this team lose?!?
Corey
I do buy this recent hot streak, but not necessarily because I think the line-up is finally clicking. I think that down the stretch, the Cubs will be involved in a tight race with the Cardinals and this will give a little more meaning to every game. With a 162-game season, I can only imagine it's difficult to have a sense of urgency in June, but when you've got a good team (maybe even a better team) right there in chase with you, each game is crucial to getting into the post-season. So I think this team realizes they aren't going to waltz into October play and the Cardinals have turned into a formidable opponent. I suppose that's why I think this hot streak is real.
Down the stretch, the success of this team is going to come down to the guys with the ability to carry the team: Lee, Ramirez, Bradley, Soriano. They are the guys that have the ability to be "clutch" and knock in the other guys on the team in the late inning situations. I guess if I had to narrow it down to one, I'm going to put the heat on Ramirez. I'm not worried about guys like Theriot, Fukudome and Fontenot getting on base. They just need someone to drive them in.
Read on, and you'll find that a surprising number of contributors think the key to a successful season is going all Tonya Harding on Aaron Miles:
Jay
I would have to say that yes, I am buying the hot streak that the Cubs are on lately. The reason is simple really...I'm a Cubs fan. I always buy what the Cubs are selling and this season is no different. I have to say that this has been one of the most unlikeable teams in recent memory. The roster construction is poor, the offense has underachieved and the bullpen has been atrocious. Still, when they win a couple of games in a row it not only makes me forget about all of their warts, it helps erase the memories and pain of Octobers past.
As far as the most important player for the remainder of the regular season, that's a tough one. There are so many candidates here. Will we ever get the Milton Bradley we signed to show up? Will A-Ram's shoulder hold up? Can D-Lee stay hot? Can Harden ever go more than 6-innings? Will our bullpen quit lighting themselves on fire? After looking at all of that, I would say that the most important player for the remainder of the season is...Albert Pujols.
Waxpaperbeercup
I'm not sure if I buy the Cubs hot streak. I think they are better than what we saw in the first half. They probably aren't as good as what we have seen thus far in the second half. Somewhere in the middle is what they are. Will it be good enough to win the NL Central? I guess it will be fun to watch.
The most important player for the Cubs in the second half is Alfonso Soriano. For some reason when he's going good at the plate the team seems to win. I expect we will see one of his patented hot streaks pretty soon. If that happens they should be in good shape.
The Ted Lilly Fan Club
This isn't a hot streak, this how a team with this much talent should play. Fantasy poop for the first half, fantasy gold for the second half. Clearly, as you would expect from the Ted Lilly Fan Club, we think the most important player for the stretch run will be.... Rich Harden.
Rich Harden can be dominant. He will stay healthy, put up ridiculous numbers for the rest of the year (we already forgot last game against the Commies), shine in the playoffs, spotlight what's great about Canada (read: Jason Priestly, Tim Hortons and Molson Extra) and then sign an ungodly large contract with some team (likely Cubs) in the winter.
Cubbiejulie
I buy it--but we have to find a way to reinjure Aaron Miles. He's healthy--we stink. He goes on the DL, we get hot. Coincidence? I think not.
Ginger Russ
The Cubs are the Cubs. If they weren't the Cubs, they would be the Angels, or the Rangers, or the Expos. No, not the Expos. Montreal has refused to ever have a winning baseball team again. Viva Canadia!
Wait, what I'm trying to say is "Yes and No". Like an In and Out burger, I have to believe it's the real deal, but maybe I'm just being distracted by the cute girl taking my order. Except she's not really cute, it's only until I actually pull up to the drive-thru window that her sultry voice is shattered by the pimples and double chin. But they have good burgers, so it all makes up for it.
What I'm trying to say is if the Cubs figure out how to make-up another fake injury for Aaron Miles, they should be okay. And that other Aaron too. In fact, I think naming your kid Aaron is just a ploy to get him called first in class. Really, who starts their name with two 'A's? That's just cheating.
Anyways, the Cubs are the real deal, finally! Everyone said E-Ramis coming back wouldn't make this team better. Now you're wrong and should go and sit in the corner and punch yourself in the balls until you become a man.
Seriously though, I like popcorn, with cheddar sprinkles.
If Aramis stays healthy, Groggles doesn't pull that shit he pulled last week and Marmol is still the President's stand-in we should be okay. Go Cubs!
Yep, the Cubs got shut out by the guy from the "Suffering From Impotence? There's Help" billboards on I-94
Shit happens when you bat Aaron Miles in the 2 spot. What does one even have to say about a game like this? No hitting to speak of, pitching was a little weak but not insurmountably terrible (Samardzija is still here, eh?), and we didn't get the sweep. Just one of those nights. At least this loss didn't come off of a Kevin Gregg fastball over the plate.
Honestly? That's all I've got
This is where I would tell you about the jump, but there is no jump. The "Read More" is a lie!
I told you there was no jump! Why did you click it anyway? I ought to slap you in the mouth.
