Wasting Away In Wrigleyville: May 2009

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Joe Morgan: Drinking on the Job

. Sunday, May 31, 2009
7 comments



For years, watching Sunday Night Baseball meant having to endure Jon Miller and Joe Morgan rambling about who knows what.  It is bittersweet.  You like the national attention, but loath having to listen to the national broadcasters.  The ESPN crew especially gets under my skin.  For all these years, I assumed Joe Morgan's nonsense and repeated stories were just his qualities as a broadcaster.  That all changed tonight, when they cut to a shot in the booth.  If you notice, next to the bottle of water, there is an image familiar to all of us that have been to Cubs games: plastic cup, amber liquid.  It all makes so much sense.  Joe Morgan drinks throughout the game.  He displays the same characteristics as I do when drinking:

- Boastful of past accomplishments

- Repeats stories that everyone has heard

- Will talk for several minutes without making any actual sense

So this explains so much.  Joe Morgan is a lush.  See a closeup of the brewski after the jump.





Read More »»

Friday, May 29, 2009

Cubs Return To Early-Week Form

. Friday, May 29, 2009
2 comments


Why, in the times we needed you the most, has there been only one set of footprints in the sand?


Randy Wells has been a bright spot this year.  Him, Scales (overall) and potentially Fox have been able to come up from Iowa and make contributions.  The shame is that Wells is now 0-2, with a 1.80 ERA (comparatively, I have the same record as a softball pitcher this season, but my ERA is 27.00 - take that Wells!).  After a brief stint of playing offense, the Cubs went back to their comfort zone of...not.  It's like going to a Creed concert.  Am I going to be lifted higher by this beautiful spiritual band or is Scott Stapp going to come on stage drunk, not perform any songs and then feel me up afterwards?  Be forewarned Cubs: Creed got sued for that!



Everyone is ducking for cover except that one woman, perfectly calm.  It's like she is in an Alanis Morrisette video.


With the exception of Bobby Scales, who got a one-run homer off of Wolf, the offense did what they do best, double-play balls and leaving runners stranded.  The Cubs actually had one more hit than the Dodgers, but also left 3 runners on in scoring position with 2 outs.  The only player in our line-up over .300 (excluding Fox) is Fukudome.  Almost everyone else is closely huddled around the .250 or below mark.  Those that know me know I am typically not the biggest fan of A-Ram, but we need him back.  I haven't even heard anything about him in a while, which can't be a good sign.    


Reed Johnson is not tickle-ish

All that being said, the beauty of baseball is that you don't have to wait long for redemption.  The $1,500 lighter Lilly is going today, and he has quite possibly been the ace of the staff this year.  Hopefully there is no umpire retribution for his choice words, and we can set off the weekend right with a win.  For those in the area (Wolfie, I know you live close-by), WAIW will be at Mayfest tonight for some German beers and, eventually, inappropriate jokes.  Come on out!

Read More »»

WAIW Cubs Blog Roundtable, Week 10: "Buttons are Overrated"

.
4 comments


We at WAIW are lucky enough to be acquainted with the operators of a bunch of excellent Cubs blogs. Every Friday throughout the 2009 season, we're going to bring as many of them as we can together to share their thoughts on being Cubs fans. This week - snazzy duds!:


Given the amount of effort put into last week's question, we're going to do a full reversal into the most vapid topic of all - fashion! Apart from the classic pinstripe look, the Cubs have worn a number of different jersey styles over the years. Which one do you want to see back in the lineup? Maybe you dug the dark blue road pullovers of the 80s teams, maybe you long for a return to the classic look of no names on jerseys, or maybe you're batshit insane and want to see the powder-blue pinstripe shirts back on the field more than anything. What one style are you bringing back?

For reference, we used this excellent article from GROTA

Ginger Russ

Buttons are so overrated. I would go with the jerseys used after the 1982 season, particularly the blue road version. Probably because this is the jersey that I grew up on, and it brings me back to watching the Cubs on my 13" b/w tv in my room on Saturday afternoons while my Dad watched NASCAR on the tv in the living room. I hate auto racing.

My other vote (just like in Chicago elections, I get as many votes as I please) would be for the 1908 jerseys. Not because they are cool, which they aren't, but because that is the last f--king time the Cubs won the GD world series. If bringing back those jerseys does something to help to the Cubs win it all, whatever.

BTW, when are we getting those camo jerseys?

- Ginger Russ comes to us from College of Idiots, where they've just now upgraded to color television. Still hating NASCAR, though.



Bush League Times

Jay: As honored as I was to finally get a seat at the roundtable, I have to admit I had to defer here. Since I am as color blind as they come, I was afraid I say something embarrassing like "I like the pink ones from 1982" so I sent this inquiry to the BLT Fashion Expert, Dan O'Clock.

Dan: I have to go with 1908 for obvious reasons, right?



- It's the only jersey they ever won anything in

- It's the only one with a real collar. I think that falls under the rules of Business Casual, I could wear that to work

- Pinstripes on the road hat?? That had to intimidate the home crowds

- It was obviously the first socks ever designed by Adidas. Luckily with time they've refined and mastered the whole 3 stripe thing

- Interesting note about the 1908 jersey. Although it's not shown, these uniforms had a trap door on the backside for in-between inning bathroom breaks.

- You can't tell me that Zambrano wouldn't look great in this jersey

- On a separate note, how did GROTA get David Patton to model all of the jerseys?

- Read Jay and Dan at the Bush League Times, or if you're in the mood for something more mature, check out Jay's recommendation for more adult reading

CCD

when it comes to the uniform, i'm pretty much a traditionalist. button down shirt.

i like the look of the current home uniform, i'd like to see a few tweaks. lose the names on the back and the red piping around the numbers. just a simple blue number on the back like they wore in the 60's, 70's and 80's. finally, i'd like to see them change the patch on the sleeve. (more on that later.)

as far as the road look goes. it's not bad, but not great. the cubs have changed road uniforms alot, and i salute the team for at least sticking with this incarnation for 10 years.. buti'd scrap the current version. i'd like to see the cubs go back to a modern version of this. this simple road greys that they wore from in the 40's and early 50's.

sorry z, but I hate the alternate blue jerseys, i'd get rid of those altogether and simply wear the blue pinstripes at home and the road greys away from the confines.

finally, in a salute to the 60's and 70's I'd like to see this logo back on the arms.

- CCD runs Waxpaperbeercup, and has excellent taste is sleeve logos

Ace

Knee-high socks, knee-high socks, KNEE-HIGH SOCKS!!!!! It should be mandatory, dude.

- Ace devotes his time, and his love, to Bleacher Nation, The Cubs Brickyard, and the old-timey stylings of Vaudeville

Ted Lilly Fan Club

If we had to pick a jersey style from the past, we’d opt for the dark blue roadies from the 1980s. However, to be honest, we’d like to go a different direction and suggest our own TLFC-ified version of the Cubs Jersey—something that we call the Legion of Doom jersey.

We’ll start with the color—black. Sure, we all know that our main color is Cubbie Blue but we think that we need to ratchet up the intensity and go w/ black to really freak out other teams. Now, if contractually, we need to stay with blue, we’ll need to work with Crayola to come up with a new type of blue—like death blue or disembodiment blue which will combine with the black. Next—we come to sleeves—let’s rip em off. No sleeves on this jersey. Sure—odds are that we’ll look like a bunch of Sigma Chi frat guys dieseling out at the gym before a Fall Barn Dance but it’ll be worth it when opponents get free tickets to the gun show every game. Third, instead of a baseball-playing bear or cute teddy bear-type logo—we’ll replace it with a “Grizzly Man”-type picture of a bear ripping an animal or human to shreds. Finally, and this one might not pass MLB standards, we’d throw on some spikes ala WWF’s Road Warriors to complete the outfit. Viola—the Cubs Legion of Doom jersey.

- We would be lying if we didn't think that The Ted Lilly Fan Club would come up with something resembling battle armor. Well done, chaps.

Jen

I generally tremble at the idea of change but I wouldn't protest a slightly modernized version of the '08s - 1908s, that is. It's based on my fondness for the morbidly obese bear silhouette logo and a working theory that fashion wins World Series (screw pitching).

- Jen from Cub Blogging is still recovering from her brush with greatness this week (greatness = Matt Sinatro).

Read More »»

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Cubs 5 - Pirates 2: Zambrano SMASH

. Wednesday, May 27, 2009
5 comments


The Gatorade machine began quaking at the site like an Alabama wife watching the Crimson Tide lose

See that "Zambrano SMASH" headline? I'm fairly certain that it's not the first time I've used that. Nor the second time. Possibly the third time. But whatever - dude SMASH. It's what he does. The good thing was that his pitching was as up to form as his shit-storming. And as such, our Boys in Blue rode the bundle of raging hormones to their second win in two games. I'll take it. F the man.



Milton Bradley goes from ridiculously depressed to Crocodile Mile in an alarmingly quick period of time

The nice thing about Z getting tossed when he did was the fact that he'd already thrown a decent game - 6.1 IP, 7H, 1ER. He's likely going to miss a start, but it's nice to have the old boy back. I'm way past worrying how Lou can fix the man's head. Let the crazy bastard pitch - he's good at it.

Swamp Thing's cousin, Reed Johnson, emerges from the foliage to save humanity

The final scoreline might not reflect it, but Reed Johnson is back into hero mode. His 8th inning home run brought the Cubs into the lead into a very uncertain time and sparked an ass-kicking Cubs offensive rally reminiscent of last year. Hell yes, Reed. You may look like the stunt double of David Draiman from Disturbed, but you make the most of your opportunities. And you wear those bitchin' high socks. Please contact WAIW so we can buy you a beer.

Other Business


Soto proves that seizures can also be fun

- WAIW would like to send a "So Long, Suckass" to Neal Cotts. Of course, given that we called up a AAA lefty reliever with a 5+ era in place of Cottsy, it my be a case of so long, suckass/hello, suckass! But at least we'll get a new guy to hate.

- It might have been against the Pirates, but it was nice to see Andres Blanco and Jake Fox make a splash in their first game up. Modern-day Paul Bunyan Bobby Scales got sent down after catching the flu, but he'll surely be back soon, saving babies and inspiring ballads.

- Again, fuck you, Neal Cotts. Enjoy AAA. You deserve Iowa, if only because they won't send you to the Tennessee Smokes. And since I love Tennessee, I think you should be in Daytona with the floppy-boobed aging biker ladies and Ed Hardy-wearing amateur tattoo artists. I hope you never make it back to the Cubs. The Cardinals, yes, but not the Cubs.

- Excellent baserunning by Geo Soto on the 4-2 insurance run. It's a refreshing sight after having to watch The Riot take to the basepaths like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man.

- Neal Cotts,you suck enough to deserve every other bullet point detailing such.

- The nice part about 8 losses in a row is that it makes 2 wins in a row seem sweet as hell. Go Cubs go!

Read More »»

Marshall Picks up 3rd Win, God 2nd Save

.
0 comments


Is Sean Marshall: a) drying is bat b) wetting his bat c) itching his clap


Last night we saw the first complete game by a Cubs pitcher (albeit with the game called in the 6th inning, it is the equivalent of winning by the slaughter rule in RBI Baseball – it’s a whole new ballgame once you take out your starting pitcher). That being said, in addition to solid pitching, Marshall also made some great defensive plays and got an RBI (after rubbing the magic stick, as depicted above). It’s amazing how good this team can be if we exclude our bullpen from a game. If MLB switched their rules to my softball league, where the game is seemingly called at random by some pissed off umpire (granted we did give up 17 runs in the first inning, but I feel we were on the verge of a comeback), we would be unstoppable.




This message is blatant propaganda from the #2 agenda: #2 on the bat, #2 on the jersey, and a big #2 on the swing



Tuesday’s game also marked the second time we got a win due it being shortened because of rain. In my opinion, it couldn’t have come at a better time, with the 8 game losing streak and all. If it is cheap, so be it. When you lose 8 in a row, you stop caring about purity of the game, and just want a damn win. It was nice to see a balanced attack, with everyone contributing. Being the ever optimist, I think catching a break last night will help us spur a winning streak, with the rubber match against the Pirates and the Manny-less Dodgers coming in over the weekend (in which Juan Pierre is inexplicably hitting over .400…guess we can’t win them all…at least we don’t have Craig Monroe batting clean-up!), I hope to God (and his perfect save record) we can go on a little run. I know people say it’s still early, but we are over a quarter through the season, so that excuse is just about over.

Read More »»

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Attn: Cubs Zone - Don't Spam Us

. Tuesday, May 26, 2009
4 comments

I'm not sure how many of you read our comments section, but I find the comments to be perhaps my favorite part of doing the blog. Trust me, we're still stunned anyone not related to us or romantically involved with us (and yes, those are mutually exclusive) reads us on the regular. But enough with the false modesty, let us do what we do best ... BLOG FIGHT!!!





You see, I do really enjoy 99 percent of comments to our blog. Yet one individual, either a lonely spam bot or a desperate blogger, decided to aggravate us in a very 1998-era Geocities manner last week. The name of this spam-bot and/or hooker-bot was Louise. And while that name usually conjures within us images of adorable old-people Cubs fans (and we loves us the old people Cubs fans), this time it conjured images of Nigerian princes and all-natural Penis Pills. Observe the so-called impromptu comment:

The Cubs should be competitive enough to keep pace with the others teams. I really like the Cubs . They’ve always been one of my favourite MLB teams to watch. I pass most time watching and looking for their news and videos. Last time I saw some hot videos of them here:
http://www.cubszone.comThey really deserve our love so we must not stop supporting them .Go Go Cubs


Go Go Cubs indeed. And while I usually support dyslexic bloggers (Dream your follow!), this was just tacky as fuck. Usually I wouldn't re-post the name of the blog in question, but honestly, I don't think we'll contribute much to their resurgence. For crap's sake, look at some of the rotating banners they still have on the site.




Daryle Ward and Rich Hill make up 50 percent of their rotating banners. The other two? That'd be Ryan The Riot and AAA player Jake Fox. Why robo-Louise chose these, I have no idea. But you'd think she/it would have changed them since ... you know ... fucking winter. But maybe she was just busy on the spam campaign for her message boards, which haven't seen a post since since 10/13/2008. Or her blog, which, as near as I can tell, hasn't posted since November '99. Or her Cubs blog roll, which features the most recent news, "Alfonso Soriano Goes on the DL." Of course my favorite would have to be the poll. While we here at WAIW are not one to cast stones through our own glass houses, Louise asks "Who should the cubs start at Best Pitchers?" which gives the choices of Dempster Baby, Scott Eyre (gone to the Phillies mid-last summer), Angel Guzman, Kevin Hart (... really?), and Rich Hill (difficult to start for Best Pitchers when he's with the Orioles). Seriously, just having to read this site is making me a crappier blogger. Should I click the "About Us" link at the bottom? My mind is telling me no, but my troublemaking liver says "YEAHHHHHHHH!"

Cubszone.com is an included sports issue company consisting of 2 divide divisions that work intimately jointly to deliver an only one of its kind and highly integrated Internet and print manufactured goods contribution. The Internet issue separation consists of a system of more than 290 web sites that issue inside and restricted content.

The system is manage with Scout’s publishing knowledge that permit publishers to fast write, cross-reference, hand out and organization stories and information about sports from wherever in the world. It produces forty five of the most extensively read self-governing college and expert team focused magazines in the state.

Do you want to blot an head on an Cubszone.com website? We greeting fresh content from those that are keen about their attentions and activity.
Mark about your favoured topics as a news explanation or leader
Support your own overhaul and products with a link to your website
Turn out to be well-known more than your wildest vision.

Cubszone.com issue magazines utilize the content and spectators of Cubszone.com to expand, promote and marketplace its editorially rich, high fineness, “sleek” periodical magazines. Jointly, print and Internet publication complement one one more enable each to proffer a broad assortment of tremendously high quality sports connected information.


Well, fuck. I broke my brain. Anyhow, we sent Louise a message from our WAIW e-mail account. Enjoy.

Louise,
I assume this is your name, as it'sthe one seen herethat you left in our comment section. Even for a blog that has in the past used the phrase "clown sex," we find offense in your comments. Could you not even come up with a plausible reason to leave a comment? Or are you a self-aware robot, of the kind from science fiction that make us nervously eye our toasters while we meticulously clean and oil our shotguns? Either way, this is a disturbing occurrence, one we hope will not be repeated. As a blog that is up-front about the fact that we whore ourselves at every possible opportunity (going so far as to havea tag dedicated to this subject ), we would like to say that even we find your self-promotion tacky. Please cease, or be more creative, or at the very least take Rich Hill and Daryle Ward off of your masthead. I mean, really?
Oh, and please don't forget to buy an official 2009 WAIW koozie. Only $5, and free shipping! Get yours today.

Yeah, see, that's how you do it. Like a boss.



We look forward to continuing our dysfunctional relationship in the future. Go Go Cubs!

John and Steve
WAIW
www.aCubsblog.com


So that's that. We'll let you know if you hear anything back. Even if we do, I'm not convinced we'll be able to understand it. Now excuse us while we squeal at the idea that someone thought we were popular enough to spam. Sqeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Read More »»

Well, This is Mighty Confusing

.
0 comments

Take a look at this article. Notice anything strange?

Would anyone like to tell me why there's no mention of Ted Lilly in a story entitled "Ted Lilly ejected from Cubs' dugout, takes argument to the field"? Not one damn hint of the man who lends his name to the headline. Top class reporting from Gordon Wittenmyer - NOW with 54 percent more unsubstantiated racist claims!

Read More »»

Three-Day Weekend Recap: Just Like When We Were Kids

.
7 comments


I love both Mr. T and America, and for one night softened on my stance regarding 7th inning stretch guest conductors

A long holiday weekend, and a full slate of Cubs baseball. What could go wrong? Looking back, the answer is everything, all at different times. It happens - and has now happened 8 times in a row. Remember last year when it was big news when the Cubs finally lost 3 in a row midseason? Oh, those innocent times. Thanks to no one else being much good, we find ourselves a mere 5 games back. A trifle! A pittance! A laugh! Which isn't to say I'm not worried, but does somewhat validate the fact that this damn team sucks me in now just as well as it did when I was a kid watching us have 17-loss Aprils.

So now, in the spirit of the COI crew, who once exhorted a mini-burger to go and fornicate itself, I'll give you the GFYs of the weekend's games. And as a positive chap, I'll also hit a bright spot. Because we need those, more now than ever.



Friday: Padres 4 - Cubs 0

GFY Aaron Miles, you glorified minor leaguer. You left 5 on base and continue to make the Cardinals front office look brilliant for dumping your one-decent-year ass. You dare wear the number of the late, great Mark DeRosa? Also, Hoffpauir left 5 on base and struck out four times.

However ... it was nice to see Z back. He wasn't killer, but it was a decent enough first step toward a full recovery. He certainly didn't get any favor

Saturday: Padres 3 - Cubs 1

GFY entire Cubs offense. You sucked immensely against Josh Greer, who has this season given up 7 earned runs to the friggin' Astros in a single start.

However ... Randy Wells continues to avoid that diagnosis of ROMS.

Sunday: Padres 7 - Cubs 2

GFY Micah Hoffpauir. Your continued sucking against a not very good Padres team has created a lot of sudden silence in a fan base that was enjoying crapping all over Derrek Lee.

However ... Reed Johnson finally got his first home run, which looked a lot more pivotal at the time than it ended up being.

Monday: Pirates 10 - Cubs 8

GFY Neal Cotts. Seriously. I find it to be true that most people say things on the Internet that they'd never repeat to a person's face. Yet I sincerely believe that even the most trepidatious Cubs blogger would, upon running into you at a White Castle, let you know just how fed up they are with your shitty pitching. I hope to never see you pitch again, even if the Cubs were nursing a 19-0 ninth-inning lead on the Oakland A's.

However ... the entire weekend was redeemed by this, honestly the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life:

Sports Videos, News, Blogs



Dig the excited "Go Cubs Go" ad lib. Can anyone tell me what Mr. T's real name is without cheating? There's a hefty prize (blog respect) in it for you if you can.

Read More »»

Friday, May 22, 2009

Boo Old Media!

. Friday, May 22, 2009
3 comments

I'm off of work today, so I got out of bed a little later than usual. I haven't been up long, but have already found two reasons to boo old media and refocus my attention on blogs.

Reason 1:



I believe this is what we call an "oopsy poopsy" in the newspaper game

Reason 2:

This ridiculous "investigative report."


Rowdyness and beer drinking at a game between divisional rivals? Mercy me. WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?!

Read More »»

WAIW Cubs Blog Roundtable, Week 9: Awesome Edition

.
1 comments


The dominant visualized lineup of Ginger Russ from the College of Idiots

We at WAIW are lucky enough to be acquainted with the operators of a bunch of excellent Cubs blogs. Every Friday throughout the 2009 season, we're going to bring as many of them as we can together to share their thoughts on being Cubs fans. This week, asked the operators of these blogs to come up with their all-time fantasy lineup. The catch, though, is that it was driven not by career stats, but why what players they've come to love for one reason or another. Steve and I posted our lineups here. Now, then:

Cubs fans of all generations have seen legends pass in and out of Wrigley Field - some with Hall of Fame-caliber careers, and some who earned their status through an unquantifiable mix of intangibles only devotees of the Boys in Blue can really understand. Fan bias is perhaps the biggest deciding factor in who's fondly remembered decades later and who ends upas more of an organizational footnote. Given the chance, and perhaps a time machine, what lineup would put out there to play an evil team of vampire St. Louis Cardinals for control of the universe?

The Ted Lilly Fan Club

P: Ted Lilly
C: Gabby Hartnett (Jody Davis as back-up/DH for interleague games)
1B: Derrick Lee
2B: Sandberg
SS: Banks
3B: Ramirez
LF: Billy Williams
RF: the Hawk
CF: Jerome Walton
RP: Lee Smith (backed up by Ted Lilly wearing a mustache)

That lineup took about 30 seconds to put together, then we blacked out at it's awesomeness.
We're not going to defend any of these choices (why not Santo! WTF is Walton doing there?) nor explain them. For us, it was a mixture of emotions and events that brought them onto the list, not carear path. This is a good exercise, but likely to elicit some strong opinions, so we'll leave the humor aside for this one.

- The Ted Lilly Fan Club admittedly left humor aside for this one, which is why you take Mustached Ted Lilly with deadly seriousness



Jen

C - Gabby Hartnett - Not only because he remains the alpha male in Cubs' catchers history nearly a century after his career, I also have an affinity for grown men nicknamed "Gabby".

1B - Mark Grace - Maybe it just seems right since he was at first base for more than half of my life, maybe I'm just hoping he'd hit for the cycle again or maybe because I wasn't legal the first time around.

2B - Ryne Sandberg - Growing up in the 80s and 90s, three males fascinated me - Zach Morris, Donnie Wahlberg and Ryne Sandberg. Only one of those adorations has stood the test of time. (Okay maybe two, but Zach Morris can't play second base.)

SS - Ernie Banks - In addition to his killer production, the dream team would have the epitome of a "clubhouse guy".

3B - Ron Santo - It's no secret I think Aramis Ramirez is God's gift to third base…as long as that statement is followed with "since Ronnie." And maybe a couple more games would give the Veterans Committee even more proof why Ron belongs in the Hall. But can we at least throw Rami up in the booth for an "Awww, jeez" with Pat?

LF - Billy Williams - Consistent on the field and classy off the field - a rare find these days (she says, with the tone of a bitter crotchety old man).

RF - Andre Dawson - Dude, the blank contract. What more do you need to hear?

CF - Hack Wilson - Never one to turn down a ribbie…or a beer.

P - Kerry Wood - There's no DL in the dream world and my selection assumes an injury free what-could-have-been. That…and I really need to break out my "Got Wood" t-shirt again.

RP - Carlos Marmol - Nasty, filthy, lights-out, amazing, God: whatever you want to call him, Marm's got the stuff dreams - and their lineups - are made of, in any decade.

- Jen writes Cub Blogging, or at least she will until she fulfills her dreams by joining Donnie Wahlberg on an arson spree

WPBC

sp -- Rick Sutcliffe -- the 1984 version was as automatic as I can remember.
c -- Gabby Hartnett -- Homer in the gloamin'. Backstop when the Cubs were an NL power.
1b -- Phil Cavaretta -- Lane Tech kid became everyday first baseman at the age of 18.
2b -- Ryne Sandberg -- Cornerstone of the franchise in the 80's.
ss -- Ernie Banks -- Mr. Cub
3b -- Ron Santo -- Cub legend was pretty good back in his day.
lf -- Billy Williams -- What a sweet swing.
cf -- Hack Wilson -- The man would booze all night and hit homers during the daytime.
rf -- Sammy Sosa -- An absolute offensive force in the late 90's and early 00's.
rp -- Bruce Sutter -- Split fingered fastball was at times impossible to hit.

- WPBC, of Waxpaperbeercup, gets points for using a Lane Tech product in the lineup. I think local and drink local, which is an entirely original philosophy of my own.

Ginger Russ

Anyone can pick the Cubs best players over the years to make their "perfect team". And there is sure to be your debates: Sosa vs. Dawson, Three Finger vs. Fergie, Soto vs. Todd Hundley. But if you are to field a team that would play against an evil team of vampire Cardinals, you need three things that thwart evilness, vampires, and annoying birds: Gingers, Steroids and Midgets (OH MY)!

Gingers

P - Rick Sutcliffe. The Red Baron was a three-time All Star, won the NL Rookie of the Year award and the Cy Young, but his greatest accomplishments include doing his best Harry Caray impersonation by showing up drunk unexpectedly in the broadcast booth during a Padres-Brewers game in 2006 and currently going all Chuck Norris on his colon cancer.

CF - Matt Murton. Ginger Matt rode into Chicago on a unicorn with a bang, hit almost .300 with the Cubs, and then was traded for some guy named Rich Harden. He also inspired one of the greatest Cubs blogs ever.

RP - Ryan Dempster. This Cunuck is known for his horrible Harry Caray impersonation, which he does sober, and signing a ball for a girl in the bleachers in which he requested to see her tits. Despite reports, he doesn't hate beady-eyed freaks with bad clothing lines.

Steroids

RF - Sammy Sosa. Yes, WE ALL LOVE Slammin Sammy and his antics - his double kiss after a home run, his salsa blasting in the clubhouse, his leaving early before the game is even over. Amazingly, Sosa forgot all English when he went before Congress to testify about his alleged steroid abuse.

LF - Rafael Palmeiro. Palmeiro played the first 2 of his 20 years in baseball with the Cubs and probably never took steroids while on the team. But in 2005 he was named by Canseco as a user and then tested positive later that year. Ironically he returned from his 10-day suspension on "Rafael Palmeiro Appreciation Day", which he celebrated by buying earplugs to block out the loud boos from fans.

C - Benito Santiago. Santiago only played for one year with the Cubs. It was in SF under Dusty's watchful eye in 2003 that a Giant's clubhouse attendant found a package of syringes while cleaning out his locker. He would later be named in the Mitchell Report for the incident.

And Your Midget Infield

SS - Ryan Theriot. The Riot stands a towering 5' 11" and is a member of the little person duo, "The Cajun Connection" with Mike Fontenot. He could also be included in the steroid category of my list, as he has been implicated by the great journalist, Sun-Times columnist Rick Telander, of possibly using PED's, which would explain his new power surge and new man boobs.

2B - Mike Fontenot. Little Babe Ruth is an inch shorter than Theriot at 5'10" (Seriously folks, if you've been to Cubs game and have stood at ground level, you know neither Ryan or Mike are as tall as their listed heights. Hell, I'm as tall as Fontenot wearing cleats, and I'm only 5'7".) Fontenot has the most amount of nicknames on the team, including "Fonte-yes", "Swamp Thing", Little Babe Ruth", and "The Pocket Rocket".

3B - Luis Salazar. Salazar played 3B for the Cubs from 1989-1992. Salazar was listed at 5'9" during his playing days and his highlights included hitting .326 in September to lead the Cubs to the NL East Championship and posting a .368/.632 line in the '89 NLCS, second best only to Gracey. He also loves Pabellon Criollo, a hearty dish made from a delicious combination of carne mechada (shredded beef), arroz blanco (white rice), caraotas negras (black beans) and tajadas (fried plantains).

1B - Matt Stairs. Stairsey only played one year with the Cubs, but I must admit he is on my list of favorite Cubs of Yore. He is another Canadian and has played for virtually every team in the majors (11) before winning a ring last year with Philly. At 5'9", he is the smallest 1st baseman I could find playing for the Cubs, and probably also the fattest.

You might also need some supporting members to help, including:
Yosh Kawano, the longtime clubhouse manager and known bird hater.
Lloyd Rutzky, a 41 year veteran of slinging the suds at Wrigley to distract LaRussa with free Strawberry Daquiris.
Darren Baker, Dusty's kid and batboy to distract the evil with cuteness.
and of course Harry Carey to call the game, because who else would you want to do it?

- Ginger Russ is over at the College of Idiots, where he brings a calm, measured approach to recent Cubs proceedings

A League of Her Own

Okay, here we go. Mind, these are not necessarily the best BASEBALL decisions, driven by heart as much as head.

1B Mark Grace--We were all charmed by his golden blonde locks and dreamy blue eyes. The batting average didn't hurt, either. Back up is Eric Karros, whose awesomeness is only limited by the fact that he was only here for one year.

2B Ryno. Duh. We didn't even vote for a backup.

SS Ernie. For obvious reasons. What is not so obvious is that we came up with Dunston as a backup, i think because we enjoyed seeing if Grace could catch the 101 mph fastballs he fired over there.

3B Santo. Ramirez comes in a very close second, but loses points for being even LESS durable than Ronny. We mean Ronny right NOW, not when he was playing.

C Jody Davis. Our backup was Hector Villanueva, who we all agree would probably want to be left off our team, preferring to sit down somewhere with a sandwich and a beer.

OF Sammy Sosa. We hated him at the end, but only because he broke our hearts. I chose Davey Martinez as the backup.

OF Billy Williams

OF Soriano.

Pitchers:

Fergie
Kerry
Maddux
Z
Bielecki (who knew he had so many lingering fans? I refer to this as the "Cubs Convention" effect)

Other players getting a lot of votes (so I guess this would be our bench): Gary Gaetti (?), Mickey Morandini (if any of us could remember where he played, he might have even made the starting lineup. did he play 2b?), Andre Dawson (I think the knees held him back), Corey Patterson (no idea what that's about), Kyle Farnsworth (in case the benches clear) and Randy Myers (and because we think he'd be BFFs with Beck).

-Cubbiejulie runs A League of Her Own, where she put our question up for an excellent community debate. Also noteworthy is the presence of two awesome guests on their latest podcast. Check that out.


Ivy Envy

CF - Jerome Walton - He's fast. He's better than Willie Wilson. And with a bevy of mediocre center fielders in our lifetime, you might as well pick a rookie of the year.

2B - Ryne Sandberg - How could you not pick him when our moms, aunts, sisters and middle-aged female acquaintances everywhere marveled at the man's luscious rear end? Oh, and he was pretty good at second base, too.

1B - Derrek Grace - The perfect hybrid of two great Cubs first basemen and No. 3 hitters. He has the hands of Lee, the consistent bat of Grace, and a pscysofrentic work ethic consisting of quiet leadership and chain smoking. While this super mutant makes our mouth water, if we have choose one, we choose Mark Grace.

RF - Andre Dawson - In combat against vampire Cardinals, the Hawk need not wield a stake to dispell the undead, his dagger-staring plate approach will send foes running. He catches balls with his bare hands, hits bombs, and would have killed Eric Show if given the chance. Just pray Country Joe West is nowhere near home plate. He gets the nod ahead of Sammy Sosa only due to Sosa's lack of clutchness at the plate.

3B - Aramis Ramirez - Ron Cey rolled off the tongue very easily, but after further review, it was difficult to ignore the man who jammed the stick into the spokes of third-base's revolving door.

SS - Shawon Dunston - How could you deny a spot to a guy with similar career statistics of the great Philadelphia Blue Jays short stop Granny Hamner? The Shawon-O-Meter captured our hearts, and Dunston reciprocated by helping the stat-trackers saved on carrying a third No. 3 to the ball park. The first number wasn't changing. As they always say, you don't need to do long-division to be a baseball player -- just hit the damn ball and run it out like someone's chasing you.

LF - Matt Murton - Corey likes his ruby locks, calling him a fellow "Pelo Rojo," not to be confused with 1960's Minor-Leaguer Enrique Rojo. We love his heart and determination.

C - Jody Davis - Jimmy calls him his favorite Cub. Andy almost went with switch-hitting catcher Damon Berryhill, but at the last second went with Paul Bako -- wait, no, Jody Davis.

P - Rick Sutcliffe - This man was more than a simple "Pelo Rojo," he's the reason the Cubs broke a 39-year playoff drought in 1984 -- pitching to a 2.69 ERA and a 16-1 record with the Cubs. He gave up just 9 home runs in 150 innings.

RP - Randy Myers - He knows Kung Fu, and showed that by planting a forearm shive to the face of a crazed fan that charged him during a game. For one year, he was the most reliable Cubs closer ever -- words that just don't seem to go together. His 53 saves in 1993 was an NL record that stood for five years.

- List compiled by Corey and Andy of Ivy Envy and the Ivy Envy podcast's regular guest, Matt Veto

Lingering Bursitis


P - Ryan Theriot
C - Ryan Theriot
1B - Ryan Theriot
2B - Ryan Theriot
SS - Ryan Theriot
3B - Ryan Theriot
LF - Todd Hollandsworth
CF - Ryan Theriot
RF - Ryan Theriot
SP - Ryan Theriot
RP - Ryan Theriot
Closer - Ryan Theriot

Manager - Ryan Theriot
Batboy - Ryan Theriot
Chef - Ryan Theriot
Valet Parking Chief - Ryan Theriot
Groundskeeper - Ryan Theriot
HR Executive - Ryan Theriot
Director of Player Personnel - Ryan Theriot
Head Scout - Ryan Theriot
Accountant - Ryan Theriot
Announcer - Ryan Theriot
GM - Ryan Theriot
Owner - Ryan Theriot

Just imagine what the GRIT3 would be like.

- Lingering Bursitis writes over at Thunder Matt's Saloon, as well as Unprofessional Foul, an excellent football (football = soccer) blog. See how cultured we are?

View From the Bleachers

Ed. note: VFTB also put it up for debate. Here's what they came up with.

Some good choices, to be sure. Yet note the unbridled hate for Steve's lineup. I smell another BLOG FIGHT. Glad to see someone else came up with Kosuke, though.

Read More »»

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Cardinals 3 - Cubs 1: 27 Innings, 2 Runs. Please Welcome Your Washington Nationals

. Thursday, May 21, 2009
4 comments


Sweet Lou, on his way to drop a deuce in the hitting coach's locker

I know I usually try to add some sort of perspective to the game, but what can I say but "game sucked, Cubs can't hit"? For the third damn time in 3 games. We just got swept by the Cardinals. You'd think that given the good pitching we had, we might be able to outscore - in at least one game out of three - a team that we exceed in payroll by tens of millions. So that Cardinals skid - losing 7 out of 9 before our series - appears to be over. If it's not, and they continue to struggle, then we must come to terms with the fact that we might just suck.

Words from a baseball sage: "The fuck's wrong with you, dumbass?"

One might be tempted to look to the South Side for solace, where a team that had successfully traded for the most lusted-after pitcher in baseball were both rejected by the player and beaten 20-1 by their divisional rivals. But taking joy in the failure of our city rivals would be a dickish move worthy of a Sox fan. So yes, I'm glad the Peavy deal fell through, but no, it doesn't make me feel better about this team playing like refried ass. Tomorrow we begin a series against the Padres, and Z comes back. Hope springs eternal, even when you should know better.

Read More »»

Roundtable Preview: WAIW Dream Lineups

.
0 comments


As part of our ever popular (at least with me and Steve, who can not have to write at the end of the week) Friday Cubs Blog Roundtable feature, Steve and I asked our blogger friends this week for their dream lineups. While we usually sit on our asses and enjoy the excellence of our fellow bloggers, this time we just had to put in our own answers. We're doing it a day early, so as not to intrude on a regular feature constructed with the express purpose of not being about us.

By the way, did you know that "bloggers" is a word under which Blogger.com puts that "you're WRONG" red line? Check out the WAIW dream lineups after the jump.



Name: Steve
Height: 6'11"
Livelihood: Accountant
Religion: Accountant
Eyes: Laser
Fake Embarassing Secret: Still waiting for that Ace of Base comeback


P – Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown – This man makes Koyie Hill’s accident look like me complaining about when my toe cramps up. Losing parts of 2 fingers in a farming accident, Brown ended with 239 wins and an incredible 2.06 E.R.A. That means even he could count how many runs he would typically give up on one hand.

C – Geovany Soto – This season’s early struggling aside, a hitting catcher that is strong on defensive and knows how to manage pitchers is a rare find, and I hope that in 10 years from now this inclusion on my all-time list doesn’t look foolish.

1B – Cap Anson – Cap played in 27 seasons, and was the first player credited with 3,000 hits. Additionally, he is part of the brain trust that started Spring Training, without which, College of Idiots might not be with us today.

2B – Ryne Sandberg – No question here. My favorite player of all time. Off the field, he cemented his place in my heart with his Hall of Fame induction speech that I think should be required viewing for every rookie in the game.

3B – Ron Santo – Not only one of the greatest hitting third basemen ever in the game, he is also a master of medicine (when his diabetes would act up in the middle of a game, a candy bar was eaten to quell the fire) and soliloquy (he can shout “oh noooo” in ways never imagined).

SS – Shawon Dunston – From my memory, he always had a sweet pair of shades on, and inspired the Shawon-O-Meter (http://davidcihla.com/shawon-o-meter.htm). Him, along with the aforementioned Ryno and the soon to be mentioned Hawk, are what made me a Cubs fan.

RF – Andre Dawson – No one was more exciting for me to watch at the plate than Dawson. He could crank a ball out of the park like nobody’s business, and was easily the best player in RBI Baseball (on a stacked NL All-Star team).

CF – Rick Monday – This really has nothing to do with skill, but solely based on the saving the flag incident.

LF – Alfonso Soriano – I chose Soriano for 2 reasons. First, he has won me over as a lead-off hitter and can make you regret stopping to get nachos and Old Styles on your way to your seat with the amount of lead-off homers he hits. Second, he represented a change in culture for the Cubs, where they proved that they were going to start spending money to get talent to win, not just ride the coattails of Wrigley’s popularity.

RP – Kerry Wood – I was sad to see Kerry go, because he is what I want every Cub to be. While being from Texas, he fully embraced Chicago as his home. While most memories of Wood are as a starter, I miss him closing the game for us, and when his fastball was on, he was almost untouchable.

Name: John
Education: Southern
Beard: Awesome
Favorite Snack That Will Lead to Premature Death: Hostess Fruit Pies (TM)
Fake Embarassing Secret: Cried at the end of "Backdraft"


SP – Mordecai “3 Finger” Brown - I'm a fan of graphic novels (which my girlfriend misguidedly calls "comic books"), and the idea that a horrific accident can lead to a super power fascinates me. I'm fairly certain that Miner Brown's curveball is the closest this concept has ever come to reality.

C – Randy Hundley - Another fascinating myth to me is the tough-as-nails everyman. Hundley caught an undgodly 161 games in 1968. Frankly, he's the one on that team who I suppose most people thought would lose both legs first. But no, he's still kicking ass as a baseball legend while simultaneously looking like a guy who is going to bring your pitcher of Miller Lite and ask what bowling shoe size you need.

1B – Frank Chance - Certainly there are flashier players I could pick, but Chance was the figurehead of the last Cubs to hang a World Champions banner. Tinker to Evers to This Guy remains an awesome part of Cubs history.

2B – Ryne Sandberg - Like Steve said, no debate needed.

SS – Ernie Banks - He's such an important public face of the team that I think people forget how dominant he was as a player. This was not just a friendly, smiling player - this was a guy who would knock around your pitcher until he cried and ended up garnering MVP votes over a 15-year period.

3B – Ron Santo - The contrarian in me tried to make a case for Stan Hack, but really, there's no contest. Ron was not only an amazing player and the last ballplayer to self-medicate with Snickers, but the Platonic ideal of a homer broadcaster. Criticize his work in the booth all you like, but it's gratifying to have someone yelling "oh COME ON" at the same time as you.

LF – Billy Williams - A player often lost in the shuffle of bigger personalities, Billy was a dominant force who should have taken the MVP in 1970. Maybe it was a lack of PR, maybe it was the fact that "Sweet Swingin' Billy from Whistler" is just a crappy nickname.

CF – Hack Wilson - A relic from the days when great players were also often unbridled alcoholics. His power numbers are insane even for today. The year he hit 191 RBI (a record I hope never to see broken), he didn't even get a single MVP vote. I like to think he retaliated by drinking a handle of Jack Daniel's and punching the prime minister of Australia.

RF – Andre Dawson - As a kid playing baseball in the various cul-de-sac and farmer's fields in the neighborhood (hey, I grew up in the burbs), we would always call out what player we were playing as that day. I always yelled "I'M ANDRE DAWSON" before anyone else could make a sound. Of course, once I got up to bat, it was painfully clear that I was, in fact, myself.

RP – Rod Beck - This comes back to how much the 1998 Wild Card season meant to me (damn ye, raised expectations!). He was clearly a hybrid of a walrus and a trucker. His one good year with the Cubs (51 saves) endeared him to me for life. Though he played most of his career elsewhere, he's always going to be a Cub to me.

BN – Mark Grace - When I become Orwellian ruler of America, I'm going to go back and wipe from history the years Grace spent in Arizona.

BN – Gabby Hartnett - An insane force from back in the day when the Cubs only winning the pennant was a disappointment. Damn ye, lowered expectations!

BN – Kosuke Fukudome - This is the one I'm going to get absolutely murdered for in the comments. Really, you'd imagine Cap Anson should be in this spot, but he was a racist sumbitch, so fuck that guy. But (and it always comes back to my obsessions), I've been fascinated with Japanese baseball since I saw a documentary on the league as a kid (actually, "Mr. Baseball" with Tom Selleck). When he came to the Cubs in 2007, I got tickets for Opening Day at Wrigley. When he lined his first pitch as a major leaguer to the wall for a double, I was ecstatic. When he tied the game with a 3-run homer in the bottom of the ninth, I was high fiving strangers with a Christmas Morning look on my face. Even when he's struggling, I remember his potential, or watch his excellent defense, and think about how much I love watching him play when he's on. I'd say that I've never wanted a Cubs player to succeed so hard. Sure, I'm leaving a lot of greats unmentioned, but Kosuke has legitimately contributed a lot of enjoyment to my Cubs fandom.

Read More »»

Cardinals 2 - Cubs 1: Oh, Come ONNNN!

.
6 comments

I suspect that last night's crappy loss is the closest I'll get this year to watching an NBA game. Nothing mattered until the last 10 minutes. Normally, I'd enjoy a pitcher's duel, but this was something else. This was as close as I've seen the Cubs come to actively choosing not to hit. First, they couldn't get at Mike Brown of baseball. Fine enough. Then they couldn't push a run past three different Cardinals relievers until finally getting close enough to break your heart in the 9th. Pitchers duel my ass - this was straight up crap from our boys. And everyone's to blame - not a Cub hitter yet has managed a multi-hit night in this series. And once again, we're in the familiar territory of trying to avoid a sweep by a bitter division rival. I mean, I'm pissed, but if I were Ryan Dempster, I'd be way more pissed.

Milton Bradley, displaying all the baserunning skills of an epileptic 9-year old in a chocolate-stained Pokemon shirt in the Cook County Special People's T-Ball League


I'm not going to cast too much blame Reed Johnson's way, he just got the short end of the stick. I'd always want him up there with the game on the line. Hell, he single-handedly won us a couple of games last year. But shit, I wish he didn't have to end it on a strikeout. He probably sent home ecstatic that stadium full of over-the-hill strippers and lonely diesel mechanics who can't live within 200 yards of a school. Sorry Reed, make up for it tonight. Or just someone do it. Anyone. We're begging.

No, Kosuke, the ball is behind you
Sometimes it just isn't much fun to recap these things. But we do it anyway, because we take the good with the bad and are eagerly planning to watch a Cubs victory this evening. Otherwise, we might as well throw on an upside-down and backwards visor and pull on our "Cardinals Take It In the Pujols" shirts.

Read More »»

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Yes, They're Charging Money for This

. Wednesday, May 20, 2009
0 comments

I'm a creature of habit when it comes to clothing. Ask my girlfriend - through the years we've been together, she has witnessed the handful of shirts that I wear in an ongoing 2 1/2 week cycle. But I do, occasionally, peruse the new Cubs merchandise on offer in the various shops of the suburban retail incubator where I work. I've been sitting on a big-ass Dick's gift card for awhile now, so I went down there during my lunch hour. I didn't find anything good, but I did find something bad - amazingly bad. Take a look at this polo shirt.


The new "this shirt was stitched by a fashion school dropout with a mean case of the DTs" style is so very popular.

Innocuous enough in a sea of branded merchandise, no? Let's take a closer look, shall we?


"100 percent Cotton. Sewed in China by shaky-handed meth addicts on the back of a moving dune buggy"

I checked - they're all like that. What you can't quite see is the $45 price tag. If you bought this on eBay, you'd be really pissed when it came. You'd think you'd gotten ripped off by a poor-ass bootleg from Thailand. But no, this is apparently what market research has decided people from the suburbs will buy. And I remain unable to find an all-flannel 1908 throwback jersey. Oh well.

Read More »»

Rivals Romp 'Round....Rhicago?

.
9 comments

Colby Rasmus' teammates congratulate him for accepting the triple-dog-dare to lick the frozen flag pole

Tonight was an awful night for Chicago teams against their rivals.  Not only did the Cubs lose to the Cards and the Hawks lose to the Wings, but the WAIW quiz team (and significant others (when applicable)) lost to traditional trivia rivals Mardis Gras Cowboys (by a damn point).  Only a few weeks ago, the Cubs beat the Cards, and the Bulls and Hawks won their playoff games on one great Saturday.  Today marks the exact opposite (with our quiz night replacing the Bulls, obviously) and is a low point for Chicago sports (and knowledge!) fans.  As for the Cubs, it was one of those nights where we couldn't get anything going, with only 3 hits for the game.  




I don't know what is weirder, the ball kiss or the missing foot

For what it's worth, Lilly had a solid game, just no run support.  He only allowed 4 hits and 3 earned runs, and the Cards as a team only had 5 hits.  That makes 8 total hits for the game.  One could argue that is a sweet pitching duel, but if the score isn't tied, the duel isn't quite as intriguing.  This is the equivalent of being the first person out of a game of Risk.  You sit there and watch people go back and forth without much happening.  3 hours later, the game is over, and no one is fulfilled.    


Yadier Molina, showing why he is nicknamed "Vagina Back"

Wednesday's game had Carpenter and Ankiel returning for the Cards.  I'm hoping Carpenter is a bit rusty and we can rebound from an offensive showing thinner than Fiona Apple (that's right, a Fiona Apple reference...deal with it).  

P.S.  Recapping a game that nothing positive for the Cubs happened and I didn't watch is harder than not seeing white trash at Great America.  

Read More »»

Monday, May 18, 2009

Rookie of the Year: A Classic?

. Monday, May 18, 2009
20 comments


Evidently people are throwing around the term "classic" liberally

Flipping through the channels on this decidedly boring Monday night (no Cubs, no Hawks - why is it always all or nothing?), I see the Rookie of the Year is on (and will be until 9:30 tonight, if you are bored like me!).  This wouldn't be noteworthy should I have seen it on some second tier station like ABC Family, but it is on AMC.  For those of you unfamiliar, AMC stands for American Movie Classics.  Now, I am a fan of this movie because it is about the Cubs and that's all I needed as a child, but it is a very unwatchable movie.  Daniel Stern is especially cringe-worthy, and every scene he is in makes his role in Celtic Pride seem like Brando in On the Waterfront.  Turns out, I am not the first person to question AMC's definition, as evidenced by this lawsuit a couple of years ago.  That being said, it will always have a special place in my heart, and I will go out of my way to document my fond memories, as witnessed after the jump. 






I found this individual at Justin's Beer Garden after a day game.  He was in high spirits, it being approximately 8 hours after the game ended.  We have documented our amusement by the lame custom jerseys some people wear.  This was the first time I had seen a Henry Rowengartner jersey, so I'm not sure if others have had this brilliant idea.  Either way, I salute you sir!  Especially for your willingness to pose doing the "floater" for me.  Enjoy!



Read More »»

Cubs Media Monday: Ka-BOOOOOOOOOOM

.
4 comments

Sometimes just one brilliant moment can cement an otherwise mediocre player or team. Don Baylor's 2000 Cubs were a 97-loss paragon of ineptitude. They may have not been the suckiest sucks who ever sucked (there's a lot of competition for that title, even franchise-wide), but they certainly tried to be. Glenallen Hill was gigantic to the point he looked like a comic book supervillain, and his defense earned him the nickname "The Juggler." He once went on the DL after he had a nightmare about spiders and threw himself down the stairs. Yet both forgettable Cubs team and forgettable Cubs player are forever preserved in fond memory due to the event portrayed below:



Further thoughts on the matter, following the jump.



No matter how many times I watch that video, my eyes always go wide when I hear the sound the bat makes as it hits the very soul of of Steve Woodard. Other thoughts:

- How bad is the announcing here? My memory is a little fuzzy, but I believe the team in the booth at the time was Chip Caray and Steve Stone. Correct me if I'm wrong. Anyway, they begin with insipid talk about shoes, and then after witnessing perhaps the most impressive home run in Wrigley history, manage to bring the shoe talk full circle by spouting a catch phrase that was tired even back then.

- If you're wondering, we of course lost this game 14-8 to a mediocre Brewers team (Is there any other kind? Hey-O!). It seems like every time something astounding happens at Wrigley, the Cubs end up on the losing end.

- I'd really love to be able to hear the internal monologue of the guys on that roof. "Wow, he got that one good! Wait, is it ... nah ... whoaa ... HOLY SHIT ... OHMYGODOHMYGOD ... WOOOO!"

- Ever since I found this video, I've been spending an inordinate amount of time wondering what ever became of that ball. I'd take that over a milestone home run ball any day.

- The Cubs used 6 (SIX!!) pitchers this day, and despite having been a Cubs fan since childhood, I do not recognize any of their names today.

- Though I couldn't track down the video, I do recall another time where Hill checked his swing and ended up holding just the broken handle of the bat in his hands. The broken upper half of his bat traveled across the plate, so they called it a strike after much bemused debate. Glenallen Hill literally snapped a bat with just a check swing, and yet denies to this day that he ever used performance-enhancing drugs. We won't disagree with him, for obvious reasons.

- Who batted cleanup for the Boys in Blue this day? None other than career .234 hitter Willie Greene. And we boo Derrek Lee?

Read More »»

Weekend Recap: Win, Lose and Draw

.
0 comments

Either Tejada thought Lee was safe or he is trying out for Angels in the Outfield

Friday, Mother Nature played on cruel game with Cubs fans by raining out a hallowed Chicago tradition of ditching work for a glorious Friday in the park.  I was tempted myself to move things around so as to be able to attend.  Alas, the rain didn't stop long enough and the game was postponed until July.  We were on such a roll, I think we can call it even on weather related advantages and the Astros can shut their damn pie-hole. 




Looking at this picture, one would assume Scales is the grizzled veteran

Saturday's game was an up and down ride, with us seemingly in control until Gregg decided to Gregg it up by acting all Gregg-ey.  Admittedly, the details are a bit sketchy for the game as a friend texting me on Saturday morning to join her for a power hour.  When you are sitting in your sweatpants watching reruns of Degrassi: The Next Generation, nothing sounds better the making some bad decisions.  While we did have the game on, the pitch-by-pitch action was drowned out by awful sing-a-longs of such hits as Peaches, Apples and Bananas, and I Think We’re Alone Now.  From what I understand, Wells had better control this time out and is making a case to remain in the rotation with Marshall going to the pen.  I am still not 100% on Wells, as I am cautious with sending my love a new pitcher’s way.  Anyway, the other big story was Scales’ game-winning run, driven in by Soriano.  I think everyone felt a sigh of relief when we saw LaTroy Hawkins coming into the game, and the Cubs were able to squeeze out a win, albeit in too-close-for-comfort circumstances. 

"Oh man, this stinks!  Who left this giant pile of Gregg on the mound?!"

On Sunday, Harden got the loss, giving up 4 runs in an inning.  I believe Len said that this was the most runs he has allowed in an inning since 2004.  As we’ve said here before, Harden leaving the game healthy is always a victory, but at some point this mentality will change.  For now, I’m excited at the prospect that our rotation will be back to 100% this week when Zambrano returns.  The Cubs struggled on Sunday, of course, I was switching back and forth between this game and the Hawks game, so I could be way off there.  It just seemed every time I flipped back to the Cubbies, they were grounding out to someone.  I did watch the bottom of the 9th, however, and they gave it a good shot.  Soto’s ball was well hit, just a little bad luck.  I certainly can accept losing that way over a 1-2-3 inning or a strike out (especially a strike out looking). 


We are on a good streak right now, and after an off-day today, head to St. Louis for an important series.  With our stock on the rise, and the Cards sinking, it should be a good time for a series at Busch.

Read More »»

Sunday, May 17, 2009

WAIW: Kings of All Some Internet Media

. Sunday, May 17, 2009
5 comments

WAIW in 10 years

Today we had the pleasure of being the guests on the venerable League of Her Own's weekly podcast.  We had a great time and hope to do it again soon.  We highly recommend listening to it Monday at work in case you missed it live.  I personally think we made some incredibly insightful comments!

Read More »»

Wrigley Tour / Lessons in Investigative Journalism

.
2 comments


Extra, extra!  Bruce Miles likes granola bars!!!!

My sister and I have a great scam worked out where we have our parents come to the city for their celebrations.  This system was worked to perfection when we took our Mom on the Wrigley Field tour for Mother's Day.  Highlights on of the tour include the press box, locker rooms, dugouts, and a little bit on the field.  In addition to simply enjoying the tour, as a responsible blogger, I participated in a little investigative journalism, and bringing to you, the reader, insights you never thought possible, such as that little nugget of joy about granola bars.  A photo tour with much more where that came from after the jump!



Should one be so inclined, one, in theory, would be able to call this phone during a game, should one want to enlarge the image and look at the number on the phone.  Just saying. 

 

This media guide had a post-it note on it saying "Do not take."  My mother, being the good Catholic, did not put it in her purse despite my pleas.  Instead, we got this super rad picture!


Here is Paul Sullivan's seat.  I hate Paul Sullivan.


I felt compelled to take a little bit of Wrigley with me.


"Holy shit!  Is Cotts in?!?!"


This picture is hanging in the Cubs locker room.  Feel free to add your own caption.


MLB poster about their drug policy.  Decidedly hard to find.


Pissin' on the Padres

Special thanks to my sister for the pictures.  Your sense of photographic brilliance never ceases to amaze and inspire. 

Read More »»