Sosa: Terrifying in Death ... Wait, He's Not Dead?

Monday, November 9, 2009

Sosa: Terrifying in Death ... Wait, He's Not Dead?

. Monday, November 9, 2009



This latest photo find proves conclusively that nothing good has ever come out of the Latin Grammys. That's our former hero and current puzzling human being Sammy Sosa, menacing that poor woman for her delicious brains (hey, we already have a "Delicious Brains" tag. Kick ass!). He says it's some sort of cosmetic deal, critics suspect the after-effects of whatever muscle-building elephant testosterone he was injecting into his ass. We here at WAIW aren't sure what's up, but here's a list for Zombie Sammy to enjoy.

10 Options For Sosa Post-Zombification

1. Seek out the brains of the living

2. Invite Macauly Culkin over for a sleepover

3. Zombify Joe Morgan, thus making Sunday Night Baseball on ESPN tolerable

4. Eat the brains of Tim Tebow, await resurrection on the third day

5. Finally apologize to Cubs fans for acting like a bitch in his late Chicago career ... in zombie voice

6. Wear a bitchin' monacle

7. Ugh ... reality show?

8. Enjoy unlimited soup, salad and brrraaaiiiins at the Olive Garden

9. Wait for jean shorts to make a comeback

10. Zombie steroids

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