WAIW Roundtable 24: Redemption Song (w/ Special Celebrity Guests)

Friday, September 4, 2009

WAIW Roundtable 24: Redemption Song (w/ Special Celebrity Guests)

. Friday, September 4, 2009



We at WAIW are lucky enough to be acquainted with the operators of a bunch of excellent Cubs blogs. Every Friday throughout the 2009 season, we're going to bring as many of them as we can together to share their thoughts on being Cubs fans. This week - who will raise their game for 2010.

Ace

Oh, this is supposed to be a positive one? So I shouldn't caution about the impending Randy Wells sophomore slump?

I think Soriano will be much better next year than this - though that isn't exactly a tall task. Look for Mike Fontenot to put up better numbers in a bench role next year. He's clearly not cut out to be a full-time player, but I believe he's got enough talent to be a quality big league bench player.

Waxpaperbeercup

I'd love to answer with Soriano or Z. But I predicted Soriano would have a good second half, and how did that work out. So I'm gonna go with the safe bet. Aramis Ramirez will be healthy come 2010. He'll put up his normal numbers: 28 HR's 100 RBi. If this happens, the Cubs will be better...

Jay

There sure are a lot of bounce-back candidates on this team but I guess that's what happens when a team collectively shits the bed. I'm going to go with Alfonso Soriano as my bounce-back horse only because he's never been this bad before. It's also much more pleasant to think he'll be better next year than to think he will be the same or worse. Hopefully his knee improves over the off season and he's able to right himself. I'm looking for .281/.335/.502 from him next year, that's close to his career averages and should be very attainable. It would also be a marked improvement.

Special guests, after the jump



Hmm. It looks like I've still got some space to work with this week. Perhaps it's time to use the celebrity connections that WAIW is known for.

Dalton - Celebrity Bouncer



I'm telling you straight, it's my way or the highway. So anybody wants to walk, do it now.

...

Alright.

People who really want to have a good time won't come to a slaughterhouse. And we've got entirely too many troublemakers here. Too many forty year old felons, adolescents, power drinkers, and trustees of modern chemistry.

It's going to change.

Viktor Von Doom, MD, PhD - Ruler of Latveria



Foolish cattle! It takes 24 weeks to query Doom on his mighty, universally correct positions? Bah! Were Doom consulted in what you pathetic sheep call April, he would have told you that Aaron Heilman would suck balls. And not the mighty, world-shattering balls of Doom! NO! Regular balls, suitable only for use by that infantile Reed Richards and his cadre of superhero Aaron Miles Analogues. Were Doom consulted, a thunderous cacaphony of might would crash down upon the brows of the Cubs' mightiest opponents.

But now it's September, and you're pretty much fucked. So allow Doom to use his unquestioned powers of prediction to forespeak the coming year of competitive feats.

Aaron Miles - Crushed under Doom's mighty boot. Somehow this will make him more, not less, valuable to the team.

Aaron Heilman - Doom decrys this insect as a fatty, and were this what the retarded children of your reality call Junior high, Doom would mightily snap his Twinkie-engorged ass with a wet towel that would sunder the very fabric of reality itself.

Geovany Soto - Once Doom squeezes the governments of the world in his iron fist, Hostees Fruit Pies will be temporarily forbidden. That and forced labor will get Soto back to playing weight.

Kevin Gregg - Will disappear in fright and cowardice faster than one of Doom's world-breaking BMs from his mighty, atom-splitting colon.

Chet Stedman

Everyone will improve dramatically next year. Why? Easy ...




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