Cubs 4 - Astros 1: In Which I Do Not Learn My Lesson

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Cubs 4 - Astros 1: In Which I Do Not Learn My Lesson

. Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Awkward hugs are the best

At the 11th hour (figuratively) yesterday afternoon, I was offered free tickets to the Cubs game from a vendor. I was mere hours removed from seeing Rich Harden follow up trade rumors with a 5 run, 6 walk performance, and let it be said that I experienced what one might call a Dark Night of the Soul. Except it was afternoon. And I only had a few minutes to decide. The Cubs are dead in the water, I had a million things to do around the house, and the vibe around Cubdom seems more than a little toxic. Internal turmoil followed. But you know what? I took the tickets, went to the game, and am extremely glad that I did. I can't stop loving the Cubs, and whether it's 8 games up (2008) or 10 back (yesterday), free Cubs tickets are fucking awesome. Even this iteration of the team commands my undying loyalty. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Allow me time, if you will, for an extended and slightly disgusting metaphor.

Metaphor all up in your face, after the jump

I like to blend mine into a nice smoothie. I can eat more that way. Why can't I feel my left arm?

See, to me, the Cubs are like the nachos at Wrigley. Those nachos are fucking great - everyone loves nachos, like the Cubs, unless there is something wrong with that person (your Sox fans, StL fans, etc). Yet they carry with them great capacity for pain - pickled jalapenos for the nachos, and I don't believe I have to explain the Cubs. You see, while I'm a great fan of spicy food, something about the pickling of jalapenos doesn't agree with my system of digestification. I'm not going to get into it, because that would be both unnecessary and gross, but as with the Cubs, jalapeno nachos will always end in pain. Yet I can't give either up, and I don't really want to. Both provide moments of unparalleled joy, and both make me want to pump my fist and scream AMERICAFUCKYEAH. Last night proved to me that just as the pain is inevitable, so too is the joy. And experiencing that joy always far outshines the pain. There - metaphor over. You're welcome. Every time I go to Wrigley, I find something new and beautiful to appreciate. Last night, it was this view, which I had somehow never fully appreciated.

If this were St. Louis, these skyscrapers would all be meth labs

As much as all the stories this morning involve Randy Wells being the Cubs most consistent pitcher, things were looking sketchy during the first few innings. He was giving up baserunners like a less impressive version of Chet Stedman. But lucky breaks and persistence left him with his 10th win and a fairly impressive stat line. In addition, my two favorite players, Fuku and A-Ram, each had big RBI hits. And Marmol was filthy once more.

It's not nice to make fun of Brewers players, Aramis

Just remember, kids: If anyone ever offers you free Cubs tickets, it doesn't matter how bad things look. You fucking take them. They will be awesome.