Weekend Recap: This Series Looked Better in February

Monday, August 31, 2009

Weekend Recap: This Series Looked Better in February

. Monday, August 31, 2009

Dance contest winner: Koyie Motherfucking Hill

As bad as this season has gotten, this weekend served as a reminder that there's at least one team having a more disappointing season. So we're not the best, and we're not even the best at being the worst. But we're better than the Mets, and at this point, that's what I'm hanging on to. I'll never forget 1969, despite the glaring fact that I was not yet born.

I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason that Bradley waved off Baker. Send WAIW an e-mail if you have any damn idea what that reason was.

I continue to be right about Ryan Theriot in the leadoff spot. He went 0-5 on Friday, and struck out a combined 5 times on Saturday and Sunday. Milton Bradley is still cracking it in the 2-hole, and I wonder how much better it might be if we had a competent leadoff hitter in the spot ahead of him COUGHCOUGHFUKUDOMECOUGH.

More passive-aggressive coughing/coaching, after the jump

The 2009 Mets: A Pictorial Metaphor

Friday saw a rare hero turn by Soriano, which was then stripped of all drama with this awful, awful lead from ESPN:

His left knee aching, Alfonso Soriano limped to the plate with one thought: Win the game, and then they'll have to cheer.

Holy fucking shit, that is ridiculous. Sports have enough inherent drama. Please don't project your own narrative on them. Nice to see Soriano hit a home run, though. Always nice to beat the Mets.

"If I can just make this routine catch," he thought, "they'll have to stop saying I play left field like a fat kid in Little League."

On Saturday, we broke the other team for once. Jake Fox hit a grand slam. But more importantly, I learned that the Mets have a pitcher named Lance Broadway. Lance motherfucking Broadway. That would make the absolute worst stage name ever.

"Hmm ... now where did I put that pitching ability?"

And then on Sunday, we learned that Zambrano has apparently lost the ability to pitch. But even then, the Mets decided to one up on us. "Oh, your ace is struggling since minor injury? Well ours has bone chips, and we're putting him on the DL and cutting him open." Playing pathetic with the Mets is a game that one can never win. Enjoy your title of "Worst 2009 Season," New York. Your trophy has been lost in the mail.