Nationals 5 - Cubs 4: Sweet Merciful Crap

Friday, August 28, 2009

Nationals 5 - Cubs 4: Sweet Merciful Crap

. Friday, August 28, 2009



Jake Fox struck out at the plate, but he did win the Reed Johnson Lookalike Contest

Good sirs and gentleladies of the audience, I present to you the absolute rock bottom of our season. And that, indeed, is saying something. We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals. I'm sorry, I need to repeat that. Maybe it will seem more like believable reality and less like a horrific nightmare. Let's try.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

Did this incantation work? Find out, after the jump



Still not working. Doesn't seem real.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We just lost a series to the Washington Nationals.

We ju... oh, fuck it. I don't think this is going to help.



Is there an unwritten rule that says when you give up a home run, you have to act like you did it because you were sweaty, and if you just dry off like you're coming out of the rain, it will all be ok?

Tough business having to nail Wells to the wall for this one. For the longest time, he was one of the few reasons we were in contention at all. I'm not going to harp on him now. It's like bitching at the interior designer of the Hindenburg while you're on fire. Let us take this bullshit in easy to digest bullet points.



Just like my little league teams, there's one good player in a pile of suck. Incidentally, I was not that player.

- Another 0-4 day for Ryan Theriot. If I hadn't used up all my chanting patience, I'd drive over to Lou's house and repeat it with the determination of a young John Cusack - "Ryan Theriot is a shitty leadoff hitter." Then we'd fall in love.

- Suddenly, after everyone jumping on him, Bradley seems to be backpedaling a bit on the racism charges. This, of course, comes after a completely worthless column by Gene Wojciechowski that just participates in Cubs fan stereotyping. I'm not linking to it. Again, someone please give me a specific incident that doesn't involve the vague accusations of a wife-beater with a persecution complex.

- Kevin Gregg in middle relief - HA!

- Sports radio is so hysterical and depressing at the moment that I'm stuck listening to NPR on my morning drive. It makes me want to kick my own ass.

- I'm really eager to see what Cubs convention in January is like. My guess? Angry.

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