Cubs Media <s>Monday</s> Tuesday: Ye Know Not the Time!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Cubs Media Monday Tuesday: Ye Know Not the Time!

. Tuesday, August 4, 2009

In my searching for a Cubs Media Monday video, I give this to you belatedly. It's not only an interesting time capsule, but it brings up a lot of ideas in my mind-grapes. Please give it a watch.

0:10 I wish people still used "Hey Hey, Holy Mackerel"

0:26 George Loukas, is, I believe, an SIU graduate. No real reason for mentioning that, but my mom went there, and she likes to remind me of every semi-famous SIU alum. If I never hear the name Dennis Franz again, it will be too soon.

0:31 How long was that Bud ad tacked onto the bottom of the marquee? I honestly don't remember it from my childhood. I'm guessing today, it would be a Cialis ad or something.

0:32 52 degrees. Looks like April baseball to me. Warm April baseball at that.

Mind-blowing video analysis continues after the jump

0:37 Sure, that guy's wearing a hat that most 11 year old girls would find to be pretty pansyish, but you just know he's a union pipefitter, and will kick the unholy crap out of your ass if you mention it.

0:42 "TRADIIIIIIITION!" Thank you, drunk with tourettes looking off into space.

0:55 Chicago sports fans in the '80s may just be the ugliest collection of humanity outside of the band Toto. One might go so far as to say the appearance of the Superfans on SNL wasn't even parody.

1:00 WORST/BEST SWEATER EVER. Also, every other male was legally required to have a mustache at the time.

1:18 Nice to know some things don't change.

1:52 Why do I feel like this guy went on to write really bad detective novels?

2:03 I'll give you 5-1 odds that at least half those kids are from Winnetka and Naperville.

2:12 "These kids are just slamdancing"

2:32 "The only ones who would play for the door were the least desirable bands"

2:33 "I know Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig would frown a little bit if they saw the punk bands" You shouldn't care about that, George. You know why? BECAUSE YOU JUST NAMED TWO FUCKING NEW YORK YANKEES WHO YOU THINK MIGHT BE DISAPPOINTED IN YOUR CUBS BAR. GO EAT A HOT DOG OFF OF THE FLOOR. YOU KNOW WHAT LOU GEHRIG REALLY DIDN'T LIKE? LOU GEHRIG'S DISEASE. HE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR CHEAP ASS NOT WANTING TO PAY FOR BANDS. Frank Chance, on the other hand, might be a tad peeved.

3:05 The punk kid admits he likes it after a Cubs game. It's hard to think that this didn't lead to him getting ostracized, like a hipster who watches Family Guy.

3:18 "I'll go to games as often as I can." Holy crap! Another one!

3:27 "The Cubs? My sister likes them." Yeah, the sister who spent her childhood kicking your ass. GFY, asian punk.

3:36 AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Where the hell did that thing come from, and who decided to put it over the credits!?!

Final Thoughts

It's nice to know that the Cubby Bear wasn't always exclusively the domain of the Thunderdouche, although George's invocation of Ruth and Gehrig gets me all ranty. It just goes to show how much the ebb and flow of Cubs fandom changes over the years. Unfortunately, this means that one day Mullen's, Slugger's, or even the Dugout might turn into a place where people in Ralph Lauren shirts pay $12 for a well rum and coke and spend the day not paying attention to the game.
I would love to do a "where are they now?" on those punk kids pictured. They're full on adults now. I'm guessing the roster might look something like this.

- Banker
- Housewife
- Teacher
- Lawyer
- Herpes
- Union mascot suit tailor
- Jenna Elfman
- Lawyer
- Stuck with the punk thing, is currently really pathetic

Anyway, that's your cubs history for this week. The next time you're at a decent Wrigleyville bar (read: not The Cubby Bear), pour one out for the old days and drink to better ones to come.


Corey said...

Since I'm a few hours from
Chicago, I'm not familiar with most of the bars in the area. I was up there one weekend when the Cubs were out of town and decided to catch the game at the Cubby Bear and couldn't believe how lame the place was.