Cubs 4, Reds 2: All's Wells That Ends Wells

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Cubs 4, Reds 2: All's Wells That Ends Wells

. Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Not now, Aramis. This is no time for your baseball-shaped novelty yo-yo

I can't believe that I haven't yet used that headline. Or maybe I have. As terrible as it is, I'm fairly certain that something like that phrase has to have appeared on ESPN at one point or another. Either way, I'm not checking. The point is that while I'm waiting for him to fall to Earth any second, Randy Wells has been an amazing story for this team. He's gotten decisions in each of his last eight (!!!) starts, going 7-1 in that time. That is absolutely ridiculous. As was last night, when he only gave up 1 solo shot in 7.1 innings of work on a day that the bullpen desperately needed some down time.

More after the jump

Randy Wells learned to put on jackets by watching '80s movies

The offense slowed down a bit last night, because Aaron Harang and his Big Dog husky boy pants can't pitch like absolute shit every time out. In fact, other than 2-4 Fontenot, the best hitters in the lineup last night ended up being K-Fuk (WHOOP! Raised his average above .270!) and Mr. Wells himself. Ramirez's streak had to end some time, and lord knows that Milton Bradley wouldn't want that average to go over .250. I'll take this win any time.

"Wooooo! I'm John Grabow, motherfucker! ... Why is everyone laughing?"

The bullpen mercifully only needed a 3 pitch 2/3 of an inning by Grabow (love those double plays) and a panic-inducing save opportunity by Marmol. Surprise, surprise, he was wild enough to get behind in counts early. When that happens, chances are he's going to either give up that BB or a solid base hit. Opponents are only batting in the .150s against him, but of course that's only when he can engage a batter instead of walking them on 4 way outside sliders. Lou himself came out to tell Marmol to knock off the shit, which eventually worked. You don't see many 36-pitch saves, but at least he's didn't hand the game on a silver platter to his old team (coughcoughGREGGYOUFUCKERcough).

Tonight: This guy. It will be a truly special start.

Tonight we finally get to see Tom Gorzelanny start, which means that if even if he doesn't win, we have to pretend like he did and take him out for McDonald's afterward.