Weekend Recap: Love Those Washington Nationals

Monday, July 20, 2009

Weekend Recap: Love Those Washington Nationals

. Monday, July 20, 2009

"It's almost like a real sweep!"

This weekend was the franchise's first 4-game road sweep since 1997. The last similarly vanquished opponent? The Montreal Expos. Nice. I wish we could play AAA teams every week. Owing to the fact that everyone else had to play actual, honest to god professional baseball teams, we're now in second place, up on the Milwaukee Chunkies by a game and two back from the StL MeTH DeaLerS.

Learn how we trimphantly did so, after the jump.

Friday, W, 3-1

"Seriously, I have no idea who this guy is. How long have I been on the DL?"

"Carlos Zambrano is so unperdictable/selfish/distracting." We hear that tired old song more often than a St Louis fan hears "STOP RESISTING!" But on Friday, he won the game with both his arm and his bat for the second start in a row. It's exactly what he's paid to do, and he did it without getting the tampons of Phil Rogers in a twist. I'm perfectly happy with this.

Saturday - W, 6-5

That's what she ... gestured? You know, because she was deaf and only knew sign language?

You know how every series, a team has a chance to win at least one game? Maybe the dominant team is off their game, or maybe the underdog gets to the starter early. Both happened Saturday, and the Nats still managed to fuck it up and lose. Saturday would have been brutal if I were a Nationals fan, but then again, so would every day.
Randy Wells looked mighty ordinary, giving up 7 hits and 4 runs over 5 innings, yet still got the win. Shut down the Brewers and Dodgers, get a big fat No Decision, come within a hair's breadth of imploding to the worst franchise in baseball, get the W. Makes sense.
There was a lot of bullpen work in this game, and while Marmol and Marshall had their hiccups, no one on this team looks worse than Aaron Heilman. Watching him pitch is as terrifying and pathetic on a performance level as watching morbidly obese people have sex. Nice work, Heilman ... or should I say BOBBY HOWRY! Thought you could fool us? Nice try, suckass.
On the plus side, every position but the pitcher got a hit. If Nats-quality pitching is all is takes for Fuku to consistently hit, then ... um, that might not be a good hypothetical.

Sunday - W, 11-3

"That's it. I'm giving DeVry a call."

Of course the biggest inning of the season comes against a team that can only be described as the LA Clippers of baseball. I'd gone to the movie theater before the game started, with the expectation of catching the last few innings. It might still be a game. Hell, we almost lost one the day before.
As it played out, by the time I walked out of the theater, wondering how Harry Potter would get revenge on Hans Gruber, it was 11-2. I ended up sipping a Shiner Bock while watching the DC squad trudge through the last 3 with all the gusto of a 19 year old high school dropout playing Chucky Cheese in a sweaty oversized outfit. I haven't seen people so demoralized since my undergraduate colleagues in the English department were forced to graduate and join the real world.
Oh, and Soriano hit another homer. Yawn.


KD said...

"Seriously, I have no idea who this guy is. How long have I been on the DL"

Best. Caption. Ever. :)