WAIW Cubs Blog Roundtable 18: Buy This Man a Beer

Friday, July 24, 2009

WAIW Cubs Blog Roundtable 18: Buy This Man a Beer

. Friday, July 24, 2009

We at WAIW are lucky enough to be acquainted with the operators of a bunch of excellent Cubs blogs. Every Friday throughout the 2009 season, we're going to bring as many of them as we can together to share their thoughts on being Cubs fans. This week - who you'd like to have a beer with:

As Steve's killer interview/anecdote recently demonstrated, it's still possible to have a beer with (or in close proximity to) one of your childhood baseball heroes. Yet some players seem to lend themselves to a shot and a beer more than others. Billy Williams is one of the greatest players of all time, but doesn't seem like he'd be the kind to enjoy some Old Style and Malort on the porch at Mullen's. Rod Beck might be better known as a Giant, but you know he'd be down not only for the drinking session, but for the egg and chroizo tacos afterward. What Cub, present or past, would you most like to have a beer with? What makes you think they'd be good company? And most importantly, what do you think they'll be drinking?


would love to have a beer or twelve with Carlos Zambrano and Milton Bradley. Can you imagine the hijinx/felonies that you would get to observe firsthand?


The guy who I think would be fun to have a drink with is Rick Sutcliffe. He has so many funny stories from his times with the Cubs. I would just sit back and listen and order him whatever the hell he wanted. I imagine Sutcliffe would drink a few cold ones or a martini or three depending on the time of day.


I wish I was the type of person to give you some sort of response to evoke nostalgic imagery of a heartwarming Field of Dreams/Cheers crossover, but I've got to be true to myself. Given the choice, I'd pick chugging some El Presidente with Aramis Ramirez before engaging in some heavy petting in the back room of a cock fight at 3:00 in the morning.

More After the jump

Ted Lilly Fan Club

Some might suspect that being the Ted Lilly Fan Club would lend itself to desiring to hang out with Ted Lilly, but those Some would be dead. f'ing. wrong. You see, Tedheads, we value life and all of its trappings: The smell of Fall, the sound of the ocean, Ranch dressing (low-fat of course--it's bathing suit season afrer all), and playing video games online with high school kids who live halfway around the world. If we met Ted Lilly, or even found ourselves in close proximity of the man (note, Ted isn't actually a Man, he's immortal) our heads would explode from failure to comprehend TLs glory - essentially the last scene in Dogma, but without Jay and Silent Bob, but strangely with Damon, Afleck, and Alanis Morrisette as they constitute the penultimate TLFC goin' out posse.

Now, when we want to 'let off some 'FC steam' we only go to upscale Ultra Lounges and high end pulsing rave clubs, so our Cub of leasiure needs to be someone we'd want to hang out with at these privledged establishments. In that light, the answer is simple: Mike Fontenot. We've seen FonteYes at raves and know he spider dances with a pacifer and glow sticks as good as anyone. He's our guy. Plus, given that he's smaller than the average bear, his size would immediately disarm any wary female TedHeads who were suspcious of our actions. Next thing you know, the four of us (FontenYes, TLFC and the two ladies) are eating late night waffles at the Golden Nugget while wearing formal wear and watching the sun rise.

Ginger Russ

It took me a while to come up with the answer for this question, as I've been pondering it all week (yes, I have no life). As a Cubs fan, it would be a great honor to sit down and have a beer (Lagunita's Hop Stoopid, the Official Beer of COI) with a great Cubs legend.

At first I instantly thought of Ryne Sandberg, my hero. But then, Ryno doesn't seem like he's thrown back too many pints in his day. He's more of a steak dinner, wine and good conversation guy. So I had to think of someone else. Someone who was around when I watched the Cubs. Speaking to Mr. Cub or Three Finger would be great, but I wouldn't be able to have those memories of them playing if they talked about their times with the Cubs.

Next I thought of Mark Grace. I always liked Gracey as a Cub, but then I remembered that I actually saw him out at a bar in Scottsdale once. He didn't seem that approachable, and the bar that we were at was a little too "high class" for me. Honestly, I don't know how I got dragged there, or better yet how I got in. I'm more of a dive bar type of guy. So fuck Gracey.

Then I thought of the two greatest drinkers in Cubs history (that I can remember): Rob Beck and Harry Caray. Both would be great to have a drink with, and even though John did say present or past, he didn't say dead.

So after much self-searching and debate I came up with Big Z. Then I remembered, I don't speak Spanish. So along the same lines, I chose Kid K, Kerry Wood. Being from Texas, I'm sure Woody has had a few benders in his day. Plus he seems like a pretty decent guy that would be willing to talk about the Cubs with a fan if he had the time. He even acknowledged me when I yelled at him during spring training this year with a quick peace sign, and you know he has a sense of humor by when he flipped off some fans last year

Of course, we would probably have to go somewhere that played country music, but I guess I could survive that for a couple hours in such a circumstance. Being from Texas, he would probably drinking Bud Heavy (that's regular Budweiser, none of that light shit) and throwing back a couple shots of Sammy Hagar's Cabo Wabo tequila. After some beers and shots, we would head over to the local lanes and roll a couple frames.


KD said...

I agree, drinking w/Z and Milton Bradley would probably cause some crazy shit to ensue. That would be fun to watch.

I like Jen's answer the best, however. Me, Rami, alcohol, cockfighting-I'm in.