Cubs 4, Pirates 1: Mount Lou (In the Volcano Sense, Not the Mounting a 65 Year Old Man Sense)

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Cubs 4, Pirates 1: Mount Lou (In the Volcano Sense, Not the Mounting a 65 Year Old Man Sense)

. Thursday, July 2, 2009

DAMMIT, Randy! I said knock it off with the Dave Coulier impersonation. Creeps the hell out of me.

Maybe I listen to sports talk radio too much, and maybe I read the morons in the Trib and Sun-Times too much, but it seems like in the last week or so, there's been this contrived push to say that Lou Piniella isn't passionate enough, or whatever. Honestly, I'm not quite sure what it's all supposed to mean. Lou really didn't have to blow up last year to win 97 games. And just getting pissy isn't going to make Fontenot hit lefties or heal the human scab in right field. But we won last night following Lou rightly pointing out that the ump was a piece of shit for calling Wells out at first when he was clearly safe. So Lou finally kersploded, and the Cubs beat the Pirates. Given the simplistic analysis we're subjected to on a daily basis, that must mean that everything is now fixed. All better.

Fun times and a video of that play after the jump.

Randy Wells got this third win by continuing to rock the sub-3 ERA and be all badass and shit. Weird to think that on a team with the third-highest payroll in the majors is dependent upon outstanding pitching from some schlub ex-catcher who had ping-ponged around the minors for a few years. Marmol and Gregg, after riding to PNC on a bicycle built for two, put up another pair of scoreless innings in late relief. Now let's just see if the late-inning bullpen heart attacks return with the Brewers series.

Nice job, but try to be less "Avenging Angel of Death" looking. Your gaze just killed an elderly Pirates fan.

Also of note, and something that you've come to expect from me. FUUUUUUUKUUUUUUDOOOOOMMMEEEEEE. I can continue to rock the #1 player shirt with the Japanese lettering for just a little longer. Aside from his sweet, sweet home run, he also had a hell of a catch in CF during one of those middle innings that I'm not feeling ambitious enough to look up. Might I add that KFuk is still the OBP leader for the team, and that as much as one might love his scrappiness, Andres Blanco couldn't hit a (Soon to be dead celebrity reference) in a room full of (Second reference to doomed celebrity). We've got such a big-ass payroll that it's inexcusable for us to be depending on lovable scrubs. This is, after all, THE YEAR.

As Andres Blanco wistfully looks on, excluded, the sad Charlie Brown music plays in his head AND IN HIS SOUL

Sam Fuld, he of the saddest Spring Training homer in recent memory, tore things up last night with a couple of hits (in the leadoff spot?!?) and a gun-armed throw to the plate that has to be seen to be believed. So, you know, see it here. Before the YouTube Fun Gestapo come after me for not having the express sexual consent of Bud Selig and Major League Baseball.

Brewers starting tonight, baby. I'll be there on Saturday. Steve does me one better by going with me on Saturday, and also attending Friday's sure-to-be-classic start by Z. If ever we needed a galvanizing series, this is the one. Go Cubs go.


Jen said...

This post was extra good today...but I guess someone should warn Uncle Joey that his days are numbered, huh?