Cubs 10 - Phillies 5: SweeeSTOP

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Cubs 10 - Phillies 5: SweeeSTOP

. Thursday, July 23, 2009

"I had tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, there were no white onions back then, because of the war. All you could get were those big yellow ones. So anyway ..."

Like my kitchen floor, the Cubs remain mercifully unswept. Unlike my floor, we are not likely to catch meningitis from the Cubs. Although I rule out nothing if we don't find someone who can hit to play second. Jeff Baker is hitting .200 since coming here, and Impostor Malibu Mike continues to see extremely frustrating playing time. But the important thing is that the Cubs did something we can all feel good about - they beat the bejeezus out of the elderly Jamie Moyer (8H, 5R in 5 innings). I haven't felt this good about elder abuse since that episode of Magnum PI with the old man/old lady Nazi war criminals.

More after the jump

Zambrano cares not for your onion belt story.

Zambrano won his third decision in a row, bringing his record up to 7-4. It's not unrealistic to think he has a chance at winning a respectable 15. Especially if he can win every time he gives up 10 hits and 5 runs in less than 7 innings of work. He's still rocking a solidly respectable 3.48 ERA and the second-lowest WHIP among our starters. For all the local media PMDD over him, he's not had a bad year.

Aramis Ramirez hit a big 2-run double, and I'd like to tell you that it made me incredibly happy. He's always been one of my favorite players, despite the fact that he plays defense like Hellen Keller covered in Icy Hot. I'm not convinced he's going to suddenly become the Christlike figure to lead the team to the head of the division, but it's nice to see him out there rocking the little league coach shades again.

A rare picture of Fonzie cleanly fielding a ball hit to him in left. Next up: Pictures of the Sasquatch, the Chupacabara, and Zack De La Rocha's solo album.

Yesterday wasn't a great win - sweep avoidance is rarely glamorous - but hopefully it inflated us with enough false hope to keep screaming invective at the TV when the offense can't get things going. To hope!


John said...

I find myself disappointed that no one commented on the fact that I ended the post with a video that was both a non-sequitor and batshit insane.

Legend Of 24 said...

I know I'm a few days late but was at the game. Great seats but hot as balls. My uncle had to catch a fellow Cubs fan who passed out... too many Yuenglings I'm guessing. Any way, it was a great time. Big Z looked good and played some great base to base ball. keep up the good work.