Braves 6 - Cubs 5 (12 inn): Now THAT is a Chicago Cubs loss

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Braves 6 - Cubs 5 (12 inn): Now THAT is a Chicago Cubs loss

. Wednesday, June 3, 2009

"Pitching great, feeling great! Nothing can possibly go wrong ... I just felt a chill"
Before we turned into an honest-to-God contender in the last few years, last night's performance is exactly what people used to think when they heard "Chicago Cubs" spoken aloud. Welcome back to the old days, because this team has no heart and doesn't seem to give half a shit. I seriously doubt the ability of this team to secure a division title. We're playing nowhere near as good as last year's team, and lacking in the intangibles that brought everything together last year. Remember when a 3-0 deficit looked like nothing? This year, it might as well be 8-0. And that doesn't even address last night's spectacular bullpen fuckup and the subsequent quitting by the Cubs offense. Lots of anger, after the jump.

Last night's game got me angry - I was angry when I got up, and angry when I drove to work. It manifested itself in odd ways. For one, I really got angry at the Hooters billboards on the Kennedy, because really, that place sucks. There seems to be a conspiracy among young men to agree that Hooters has the best chicken wings. Where this comes from, I have no idea - they taste like over-fried and chemical. If you want to spend a day drinking overpriced beer and looking at all the hot girls from high school who suddenly discovered upon graduation that their skill-set was inherently limited in the real world, then go ahead. Just be honest about it. Don't drag the good name of Buffalo Wings into this.

What does this have to do with the Cubs? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. That's my point. Last night's game sucked so hard as to make me crazy. I couldn't bear to listen to my usual morning talk radio, so instead I had to listen to Pantera and At The Drive-In at 6 in the damn morning because my car music selection is rather limited. All in all, the ripple-effect from last night's Parade of Suck really screwed up my morning. Which really isn't healthy. Other people have real problems. But of course, we know this, and it doesn't preclude us from criticizing a team that ruined yet another great Randy Wells outing. Wells has a sub-2 ERA and no wins. Welcome to the 2009 Chicago Cubs.

At the time, this was an insurance run

Marmol and Gregg are, theoretically, supposed to be our two best relief pitchers. They combined to lose last night's game by themselves. Something is wrong with Marmol - he's never gotten on track this year. His control is awful, but people seem to forget because he still has the ability to get out of a jam of his own creation with 3 straight Ks. But last night was a reminder that he can't keep screwing himself forever. He needs to get Filthy again. For now, he's just Carlos Marmol (Wild). Quit walking people, dammit! This is how you respond to not winning the closer job? By validating the decision?

And Kevin Gregg. Kevin dumbass Gregg. Even in victory, he looks like ass. His crap pitch led to the passed ball that let a strikeout turn into a baserunner. And that baserunner tied the game, because Kevin Gregg sucks and gave up a 2-out home run with the game on the light. I was hoping Randy Wells would go out to the mound and kick Gregg in the nuts. Marmol set the ball in motion, but Kevin Gregg is the one who ultimately ruined the near-no hitter by Wells. What also pisses me off is that he's never man enough to just go ahead and lose the game. He's just gotta put that extra strain on the bullpen. He's sucked so efficently that we find ourselves compelled to find a new nickname for Gregg. How do you feel about these?:

- White Alfonseca
- Borowski in Disguise
- George Aaronow (You know, because he's "not a closer." Woo for movie/lit references!)
- Greggwood (Like Deadwood, that show where everyone curses nineteen times a minute. Like all of us are doing when he pitches. Watch that video. It's cathartic, if a bit offensive.)
- Gregg on Arrival
- Tie Game Gregg
- LaTroy Gregg
- Ball 4

If you have anything better, let us know in the comments. It's just one of those days.


Jay said...

I like :

Kevin "That guy I hope dies" Gregg
Kevin "Four Eyes=Four Walks" Gregg
Kevin "The Felcher" Gregg

KD said...

Well said John.
I felt the same way today...I've just been in a pissy mood all day and I think it has everything to do w/how the Cubs have been playing this season-last night's game just completely sent me over the edge. Kevin Gregg can kiss my ass, Marm needs to get it together, Geo needs to quit sucking and for the love of GOD, someone win a f'ing game for Randy Wells! Geez people!
It was much easier being a Cubs fan years ago when they sucked, everyone knew they sucked and we just accepted it. now that they've given us a couple teaser seasons, the pressure on us Cubs fans is too much.
This is gonna drive me to possibly have either a drinking or pill popping problem, but most definitely an anger management problem.....

VetoPower said...

Kevin Dregg defines dreg as:

"The basest or least desirable portion. Often used in the plural: the dregs of humanity."

Yes... yes, I think that's it.

wolfie said...

Great post John, really captured my grrrrrrrr #!@@#$%$@#$%%^#

Since the game put me in such a funk, I'm gonna go with something a little more extreme: Kevin I understand if it doesn't sit well with the fans.