Like Wells? Just Be Sure It Isn’t A Case of ROMS

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Like Wells? Just Be Sure It Isn’t A Case of ROMS

. Thursday, May 14, 2009

Ryan O'Malley, giving you the ROMS bug

Were you one of the many Cubs fans that saw promise after the first start of Randy Wells?  Before you get to excited, make sure that you aren’t suffering from Ryan O’Malley Syndrome (ROMS).  Initial symptoms include the following:

  •           Elation after a decent start
  •           Overlooking obvious deficiencies
  •           Getting way too far ahead of yourself

The symptoms tend to last for 5 – 7 days, until the subsequent start of the subject.  At this point, Phase 1 of ROMS will transition to the Terminal Stages, where you will feel heartache and indigestion until you revert to a mental state pre-ROMS.  Be wary, however, as your pre-ROMS state will often involve disgust of the bullpen, and ROMS gave you the opportunity to reconfigure the rotation in a manner that would alleviate other struggles.

ROMS is not something to take lightly.  I should know, as I was a sufferer of the original strain.  It occurred in 2006, when Ryan O’Malley pitched 8 shut-out innings against the Astros.  I suffered from a particularly rough case, as I went so far as to reading small town newspaper articles about O’Malley and thought we had finally found to key to spark our rotation during the final stretch of the year.  This quickly faded, much like O’Malley’s career, who was on the Schaumburg Flyers until he signed a minor league contract with the (gag) White Sox.  Last I heard, he was a “free agent” (aka unemployed).  So be cautious with your love, Cubs fans.  Let’s be sure Wells can deliver, and we aren’t all just suffering from ROMS.