Cubs 6 - Padres 4: Inclement Weather > Cubs Bullpen

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Cubs 6 - Padres 4: Inclement Weather > Cubs Bullpen

. Thursday, May 14, 2009

The magical elf who lives in Freel's head was glad to be sheltered from the rain by a crazy person

Last night's game played out for Cubs hitters like my brother playing All-Star Baseball on Nintendo 64. Random homers, so-so pitching, and quitting before the game was really over - all hallmarks of his reign of terror in the Era of Goldeneye. Thankfully, the Cubs were good enough to win the 8 inning version of last night's game.

Sadly, this new increase in muscle mass means The Riot can no longer lower his arms

What you might not realize from the highlights (and there were many) is that the Padres outhit us fairly significantly, 11-7. But they also don't have a certain Orlando Bloom lookalike who may or may not have begun visiting Jose Canseco's pharmacist. Theriot hit his career high in homers last night by adding 2 more, for a grand total of five. Soriano thinks that's cute. Speaking of Fonzie, his leadoff homer last night both traumatized Chris Young and tied him for 2nd place in all-time leadoff homers with Craig Biggio.

"Should I call it, or wait for it to start raining blood?"

Ted Lilly, while a bit up and down (8 hits, 3ER, 7K over 6.1), pitched well enough to pick up win #5. If you had asked either of us who would be the first Cubs starter to 5 wins, we probably wouldn't have guessed TL. But at this rate, he's on track for 20 wins, a Cy Young, and the discovery of cold fusion by mid-September. Angel Guzman did well again, earning his 4th hold and knocking his ERA to 3.50, which sadly makes him a bullpen standout. Marmol gave up a run and two hits, and clearly needs some damn rest after appearing in his 19th game (best on the team by 2 innings, which is a significant number for a reliever this early on). Can someone buy this guy a Mai Tai and snag a table at Trader Todd's? I feel like drunkenness and "Werewolves of London" would fix what ails him. What's that? Unnecessary video embed? Sure, I can do that.

Speak ill of Zevon and I will end you. Anyhow, today dumpster victim Chad Gaduin brings his 4.08 ERA to Wrigley. Where we will pay him a couple mil to pitch against us. Couldn't keep Mark DeRosa, though. Salary cutting move and all. Sigh.


Froggy said...

Ohhh nickname for him in Min Pin.