Attn: Cubs Zone - Don't Spam Us

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Attn: Cubs Zone - Don't Spam Us

. Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I'm not sure how many of you read our comments section, but I find the comments to be perhaps my favorite part of doing the blog. Trust me, we're still stunned anyone not related to us or romantically involved with us (and yes, those are mutually exclusive) reads us on the regular. But enough with the false modesty, let us do what we do best ... BLOG FIGHT!!!

You see, I do really enjoy 99 percent of comments to our blog. Yet one individual, either a lonely spam bot or a desperate blogger, decided to aggravate us in a very 1998-era Geocities manner last week. The name of this spam-bot and/or hooker-bot was Louise. And while that name usually conjures within us images of adorable old-people Cubs fans (and we loves us the old people Cubs fans), this time it conjured images of Nigerian princes and all-natural Penis Pills. Observe the so-called impromptu comment:

The Cubs should be competitive enough to keep pace with the others teams. I really like the Cubs . They’ve always been one of my favourite MLB teams to watch. I pass most time watching and looking for their news and videos. Last time I saw some hot videos of them here:
http://www.cubszone.comThey really deserve our love so we must not stop supporting them .Go Go Cubs

Go Go Cubs indeed. And while I usually support dyslexic bloggers (Dream your follow!), this was just tacky as fuck. Usually I wouldn't re-post the name of the blog in question, but honestly, I don't think we'll contribute much to their resurgence. For crap's sake, look at some of the rotating banners they still have on the site.

Daryle Ward and Rich Hill make up 50 percent of their rotating banners. The other two? That'd be Ryan The Riot and AAA player Jake Fox. Why robo-Louise chose these, I have no idea. But you'd think she/it would have changed them since ... you know ... fucking winter. But maybe she was just busy on the spam campaign for her message boards, which haven't seen a post since since 10/13/2008. Or her blog, which, as near as I can tell, hasn't posted since November '99. Or her Cubs blog roll, which features the most recent news, "Alfonso Soriano Goes on the DL." Of course my favorite would have to be the poll. While we here at WAIW are not one to cast stones through our own glass houses, Louise asks "Who should the cubs start at Best Pitchers?" which gives the choices of Dempster Baby, Scott Eyre (gone to the Phillies mid-last summer), Angel Guzman, Kevin Hart (... really?), and Rich Hill (difficult to start for Best Pitchers when he's with the Orioles). Seriously, just having to read this site is making me a crappier blogger. Should I click the "About Us" link at the bottom? My mind is telling me no, but my troublemaking liver says "YEAHHHHHHHH!" is an included sports issue company consisting of 2 divide divisions that work intimately jointly to deliver an only one of its kind and highly integrated Internet and print manufactured goods contribution. The Internet issue separation consists of a system of more than 290 web sites that issue inside and restricted content.

The system is manage with Scout’s publishing knowledge that permit publishers to fast write, cross-reference, hand out and organization stories and information about sports from wherever in the world. It produces forty five of the most extensively read self-governing college and expert team focused magazines in the state.

Do you want to blot an head on an website? We greeting fresh content from those that are keen about their attentions and activity.
Mark about your favoured topics as a news explanation or leader
Support your own overhaul and products with a link to your website
Turn out to be well-known more than your wildest vision. issue magazines utilize the content and spectators of to expand, promote and marketplace its editorially rich, high fineness, “sleek” periodical magazines. Jointly, print and Internet publication complement one one more enable each to proffer a broad assortment of tremendously high quality sports connected information.

Well, fuck. I broke my brain. Anyhow, we sent Louise a message from our WAIW e-mail account. Enjoy.

I assume this is your name, as it'sthe one seen herethat you left in our comment section. Even for a blog that has in the past used the phrase "clown sex," we find offense in your comments. Could you not even come up with a plausible reason to leave a comment? Or are you a self-aware robot, of the kind from science fiction that make us nervously eye our toasters while we meticulously clean and oil our shotguns? Either way, this is a disturbing occurrence, one we hope will not be repeated. As a blog that is up-front about the fact that we whore ourselves at every possible opportunity (going so far as to havea tag dedicated to this subject ), we would like to say that even we find your self-promotion tacky. Please cease, or be more creative, or at the very least take Rich Hill and Daryle Ward off of your masthead. I mean, really?
Oh, and please don't forget to buy an official 2009 WAIW koozie. Only $5, and free shipping! Get yours today.

Yeah, see, that's how you do it. Like a boss.

We look forward to continuing our dysfunctional relationship in the future. Go Go Cubs!

John and Steve

So that's that. We'll let you know if you hear anything back. Even if we do, I'm not convinced we'll be able to understand it. Now excuse us while we squeal at the idea that someone thought we were popular enough to spam. Sqeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


Jay said...

Have anal sex with people in your neighborhood here>>

wolfie said...

You guys never invited me to blot an head on your website, and I'm very keen about your attentions and activity.

John said...

Well now, Jay, that certainly offers a new, far more disturbing take on that site. Extra points for the Cobra Commander logo. I always take anonymous sex advice from people with Cobra affiliation.

John said...

Oh, and Wolfie, next time a head needs blotting at WAIW, we'll call you first.