Yesterday in Excruciating Waiting: Marshall's Cy Young Campaign Derailed, A Scourge on the Dodgers, Tigers Literally Pay for Nothing

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Yesterday in Excruciating Waiting: Marshall's Cy Young Campaign Derailed, A Scourge on the Dodgers, Tigers Literally Pay for Nothing

. Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Franks inadvertently began a white trash fashion statement with this iconic photo

- While it was nice to see our fifth starter post a sub-2 ERA in games that don't matter, he's recently come as close to crashing down to earth. Or rather, as much as you can in fake games when your spot in the rotation is sewn up. Yesterday, 3.1 innings of Lefty (the nickname will NEVER leave!) was good enough for 8 runs for the Angels. You know how many runs Gaudin, Viscaino, Fox, Gregg, Patton, and Heilman gave up combined? Zero.

- Fukudome hit a triple. YATTA!

- Dwayne Wayne Gregg struck out the side in the 9th. So that's nice.

- It's looking more and more like we've got to try and keep David Patton, owner of the most depressing ESPN profile ever. " It makes more sense than keeping up Samardzija (who has options), hanging on to Angel Guzman (who has blown a great shot to make the pen), or hoping Chad Gaudin fixes whatever is wrong with him. I like the promise of an unknown commodity.

- The Dodgers signed Will Ohman - possibly the worst Cubs reliever not named Howry in recent memory - to a minor league deal that will pay him nearly $2 million this year should he meet incentives. At the very least, he's getting $1.3 mil. Should he not suck this year, he'll make even more in 2010. Does every team in the league have to find out he's horrible on their own? Don't major league teams have scouting departments or, say, video replay crews aimed at preventing the payment of team money to a Will Ohman type? My mind-grapes simply cannot process this.

- At the very cusp of his 500th home run, Gary Sheffield was released by Detroit. He currently sits at 499, and has been hitting them since before some of our readers were born. Seriously. The noteworthy thing here is that the Tigers still have to pay him $14 million this year to not play for them. Gotta love those Tigers, making the most of their luxury tax payroll.

- Finally, Herman Franks, who managed the Cubs to just under .500 from 1977 to 1979, died yesterday at 95. How anyone can follow this team so intently and live that long is beyond me. I imagine I'll kick off midway through a Portillo's chili cheese dog right after Bob Howry III blows a save sometime around 2034. Good for Herman. Vaya con dios.

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