Why Newspapers are Dying: Case File #34234673

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Why Newspapers are Dying: Case File #34234673

. Thursday, April 9, 2009

From Steve Rosenbloom's Trib blog:

"Ted Lilly sure looks like a World Baseball Classic refugee - not enough arm strength, no ability to keep the ball down. Apparently, this is part of Bud Selig’s plan to drag Cubs pitching down to the level of the dogbreath Brewers."



Before it shut down, I used to freelance for a neato glossy magazine that concerned itself with sports, boobs and consumer electronics. Many of the writers were J-school students hoping to get some clips. Some of them were awful, but none of them ever would have had the stones to put forward the phrase "the dogbreath Brewers" and expect to have it published, much less get paid for it. The Tribune is rapidly dry-humping my remaining sympathy for that grand old publication.

"David Patton got nervous on his first batter, then he got everybody. Nice debut for the Rule 5 kid who had never pitched above Single-A ball."

More crackerjack analysis here. You know who said that? Len and Bob, about a hundred times last night. And before that? Every Cubs blogger that Steve and I know. The only thing added is considerably crappy detail. Did anyone think this statement had any value?

"I can't find pictures to make it work, but Mike Fontenot of the Cubs reminds me of Tanner Boyle of the Bad News Bears, only without the racial epithets."

Absolutely wonderful. You know, I think people would be less offended if Rosenbloom had said something like "he's exactly like Tanner Boyle, because he's from Lousiana, and they're all horrible racists in the South." At least then he would be making a non-general statement of interest. If I wanted to get on the Internet and see someone pointlessly wank ... well, the point it that I wouldn't want that at all. Especially if they looked like Steve Rosenbloom.

"I can’t say for sure that Cubs catcher Geovany Soto’s right shoulder injury also is a result of the World Baseball Classic. Soto said he has gone through this before and it lasted about a week. But if there’s a chance it was caused by the silly WBC and its wonky schedule that almost prevents big leaguers from getting into big-league shape or reaching the level of big-league strength required, then I’m all for blaming Selig for this one, too."

"Silly," "wonky," three iterations of "big league." Tell me again why we bloggers are looked down upon as uneducated morons with poor writing skills?

1 comments:

Angry Mike said...

Come on man. I has the most greatest righting skilz.

I'll send over my roundtable input tonight.