We Suppose if We Were Covering Them ...

Monday, March 23, 2009

We Suppose if We Were Covering Them ...

. Monday, March 23, 2009

Coming to a Howie Day concert near you!

Who is Chico Harlan? If you guessed "Vaguely ethnic '70s cop show sidekick," you would be wrong - but still very good at using context clues. No, in our reality, the man is the beat reporter for the Washington Nationals - a job akin in futile misery to being the financial editor at the Baghdad Post-Gazette. But the man still gets to write about baseball for a living, a dilemma I like to call Having Asinine Problems. His profile in D.C.'s Washingtonian magazine contained this gem:

“I don’t like sports—I am embarrassed that I cover them,” Chico Harlan says. “I can’t wait to stop. It is a means to an end and a paycheck.”

On Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, reaching the "Bitching About Being Paid to Cover Professional Sports" level qualifies as you not having any real problems. As someone who smooshes a baseball blog in between a real job and graduate school, one might expect I'd offended, but I'm not. If the man doesn't like baseball, who am I to get offended about that? I hate basketball, but I'd certainly take a paycheck to write about it. Hell, his outsider status may bring much-needed scrutiny to that joke of a team. The only issue I have is that we was dumb enough to say that in a fairly well-read magazine mailed to much of what constitutes the Nats' fan base. Cue asinine apology:

I owe an apology, because I said something stupid. Really stupid. I regret it tremendously. This is certainly not the first time I've felt terrible or stupid, but it is my first time writing about these feelings on a baseball blog. Why? Because I want you to know how I feel about my job. Read this (please), and know that Scott Boras didn't put me up to it. This is a heartfelt apology.

Funny how those writing skills go out the window when one starts flailing about, hoping to keep one's job. It reads like a LiveJournal post. He goes on to say that he's naturally melodramatic, and that the sentiment isn't true. Then he emphasizes that he absolutely LOVES ... writing. I reckon the same DC Nats bloggers that broke this particular story will catch that as well.

Good luck hanging on to the gig, Chico, but know that you've already got two strikes against you. One, you really don't like baseball, and confirm as much during the requisite apology. Two, you look like a big ol' douchebag with the pink tie and self-assured smirk. You might not know this, but 0-2 is a very bad count.