Thursday Cubs What-Have-You

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Thursday Cubs What-Have-You

. Thursday, March 19, 2009

- Wrigley just got a new delivery of fresh sod. That should last, ohh, about three months, because Chicago's Aldermen approved three (!) concerts for Wrigley this summer, two by the baby boomer power duo of Elton John and Billy Joel, and one by professional suckasses Rascal Flatts. Between the Elton John concert he scored tickets for and the Jimmy Buffett concert later in the year at Toyota Park (oh, and this Pilates class), Steve is going to be fending off divorced women in their early 40s with a stick.

- The team announced yesterday that it plans to open a new restaurant in partnership with the group that runs Harry Caray restaurant. It will be located at the corner of Sheffield and Addison, also known as the only damn place you can stand still for even a minute outside the park on game day. Its beer garden will reportedly extend past the Harry Caray statue, which is possibly the team's way of saying "you tourists want your cute little Facebook profile picture? Pony up for some $11 potato skins, fuckers!" Should be ready by opening day.

- Still no Ricketts


That was a much happier statement when pirates used to say it.

- Crane Kenney spent yesterday trying to make people cry. First, he threatned moving the Cubs to the crap-ass Grapefruit League unless they get brand-new facilities in Arizona. Then, he admitted that Cubs management was "intrigued" by the concept of a Wrigley Jumbotron, although no plans exist at the moment. Someone please go after this man with holy water and an ash stake.

- There are new, as of yet unnamed sponsors for the outfield doors. Let's welcome our new corporate partners with a warm middle finger gesture.

- In better news, after the Ricketts sale goes through, Kenney said that the Hendry should have some money to throw around before the All-Star break.