Cubs Media Monday: Schizophrenia Simulator, 1986 Edition

Monday, March 16, 2009

Cubs Media Monday: Schizophrenia Simulator, 1986 Edition

. Monday, March 16, 2009

Admit it, you didn't think this would become a regular feature. Shame on you.

This week's CMM features something prescient in its prediction of the future. It is also a Burger King commercial. Soldier on, dear reader:

I miss the days before ad budgets and production values skyrocketed. This recalled the good old days of cheap-ass regionally targeted advertising. I currently go to graduate school, and about half my curriculum is advertising. I feel as though commercial production like this is what made people think that maybe this is something people should learn in school:

- 0:01 "This is a Burger King Town!" Try to think of King Leonidas shouting it in a loincloth. Makes everything funnier.

- 0:07 Marvel at the building action as the pitcher lazily attempts a half-assed pickoff.

- 0:11
Advertising Exec
: "Johnson, we're putting you on the Burger King account. Punch up some copy, and come up with a catchy name for the ear radio that goes with the Cubs promotion."
Johnson: "Umm ... how about ... Cubs ... ear ... radio?"
Advertising Exec: "My GOD! You've done it again, Johnson! You'll be getting your own bathroom for this."

- 0:12 I've participated in many activities concurrent with enjoying a baseball game - grilling, writing, drinking, etc. But I have never, and I repeat never, smiled like a child molester while cramming greasy burgers and listening to a crackly AM feed on a novelty earring radio. It makes me fear the yawning pit where his soul should be.

- 0:18 Second Sandberg shot: Ryno sort of jiggles in place, which for some reason convinces Harry Caray that he's going to attempt a steal.

- 0:20 The creepy BK earring guy is back, and gesturing excessively in public like a homeless person. Think about it, this was way before Bluetooth - the only people who behaved like this spent their evenings sleeping in Uptown doorways, curled around a bottle of Kamchatka Vodka.

- 0:026 Ryno is safe. Good - I was getting worried that the men in powder blue would prove athletically superior. Buy bugers.

- 0:29 That's a lot of narrative density in 29 seconds. They don't make them like they used to.

- Oh all right. If you want one, here you go.