Cubs Media Monday: Crimes Against Humanity Edition

Monday, March 23, 2009

Cubs Media Monday: Crimes Against Humanity Edition

. Monday, March 23, 2009

Sometimes it's just easier to sit back and have your work done for you. In this case, I found both of these gems over at Chicagoist. And now I will post them for your enjoyment, because they're so bad, I think they qualify as modern art. First, let's enjoy some horrible abuse at the hands of our beloved Harry Caray:

If you lived and had achieved mild popularity in the '80s, then you had to come out with a rap video. It was the law. This is, I believe, another great reason for me to not partake in Bud Light. There is clearly some stunt double work going on here, because I'm pretty sure Harry had all the jumping ability (0:11) of a backhoe.

Now, Budweiser is (or used to be) a St. Louis-based company. As such, I think that the executives who approved this video must have never actually visited to Chicago. I believe, instead, that they just took a bunch of stereotypical images of Chicago, made them have sex, and overlaid a bad MIDI rap track. Wrigley? Check. Blues Brothers? Check. Tall buildings? Check. Ladies with awesome '80s hair? Oh, you'd better believe it. This video was so bad that the Cubs finished 23.5 games out of the division. The baseball gods are not rap fans, apparently.

Ozzie and Lou must have been paid in cash by the dumptruck. It's the only sane explanation. I would love to see the "making of" video, with the two managers head-bobbing to that kick Casio beat while wearing big studio headphones, "We Are the World"-style. And I'm not trying to make fun of a non-native speaker here, but I honestly can't tell what Ozzie is saying most of the time (ESPECIALLY at 0:16). I guess I'll have to go down to "Zirtyfiss and Shield" and ask him. Not that Sweet Lou fares much better - at (0:26), it becomes apparent that the baseball gods have struck him with flaring hemorrhoids for agreeing to be in this commercial.


Bree said...

damn, this is no way to start a monday... but i guess the week can only get better.

John said...

Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays

J.J. said...

You are right - they must have paid Lou and Oz a dump-truck full o'cash for that load of crap. I think I only saw that commercial aired once, and that was enough for me. (now I've seen it twice thankyouverymuch)

jenzie1231 said...

Ahahaha, I forgot all about that commercial (the Ozzie and Lou one). I feel embarrased when I watch it..especially about Lou's "booty-do".