25 Things We're Not Bitter About: 6-10

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

25 Things We're Not Bitter About: 6-10

. Wednesday, February 11, 2009

It came to our attention last week that certain elements of the blogoverse find us to be, shall we say, sarcastic and bitter. We have no idea why. Anyhow, the experience has inspired us to round up 25 of the things that give us the joy that only a bright Saturday afternoon game against the Cardinals can. These are in no particular order, and I suspect we'll likely end up leaving out some great elements of the Cubs universe. Feel free to correct us in the comments.So to the mysterious blog aggregator (or aggregatrix) who deemed us sarcastic and bitter - please consider the following declarations of joy and happiness. Oh, and fuck off.

6 - Go Cubs Go

What has two thumbs and learned to center an embedded video? This guy.

We'll admit that it was pounded into the ground last year by bandwagon-jumping radio DJs and other such tool-ish elements of Cubs fandom. But I grew up listening to this song - and it just so happens that at the moment, it's not being enjoyed ironically. Post-college, Steve and I used to listen to the song while drinking our last beers before heading out to Wrigley. Back then, the chances were much slimmer that we'd hear the song again at the end of the game. If you hate this song, then you hate Steve Goodman. And if you hate Steve Goodman, then the terrorists have already won.

7 - The Bud Roof

Ah, Budweiser, as American as baseb.. what's this about the Belgians, now?

I am emphatically not a Budweiser man. I was raised on Miller products, which of course led to any number of birth defects and learning disabilities. I CAN RIDE A BIKE! Anyhow, despite my non-identification with Budweiser and their shitty marketing, I always enjoy seeing the Red Budweiser roof across the street as I settle into my seat. From the cheap-ass section, you tend to get a pretty nice view. I briefly panicked when it was switched to Bud Light, but turns out that was only for the Winter Classic. I was somewhat worried when the owner covered it with a tarp, but that was soon settled. I also chuckle every time it's not in a video game, because sports games are most often rated E.

8 - Concerts

"are right behind you, Milton. Do not attempt to escape ..."

Call me some lame, Sting-loving douche all you want, but I enjoyed the Police show at Wrigley. Sure, Sting had to go screw things up with decades of pretentious faux-Eastern dickishness, but you can't tell me that the first three Police albums weren't excellent. Or maybe you can - who knows. Either way, after the worst opening band in history (and I've seen a few), which just so happened to include Sting's son (Bite, Prick, Scratch?), the main act came onstage. I'm not going to lie, they may have lost a step or two. Sting is perhaps no longer what we would call cutting edge. But I enjoyed the hell out of myself. Part of it was the eight hours of barbecuing and drinking done beforehand, but most was the "Holy shit, I'm seeing a show at Wrigley Field!" factor.

9 - New Cubs

"Ah, what the hell, I'll take it. He'll at least be here a few years."

Every year, there's a couple new signings that raise eyebrows. In that time before they play a single game, the possibilities are limitless in my fertile imagination. Maybe Milton Bradley will win the NL batting title and not assault anyone. Maybe adding Maddux is all we need to take the Series in 2004. Maybe Gary Gaetti is the answer for our troubles at 3rd. With every new signing, there's that wonderful part before the player goes out and performs like, you know, a human. Savor that moment.

10 - Wrigley Tourists

"Where did you folks say you were from, again?"

Tourists are, by and large, obnoxious people in fanny packs who can kiss my ass. Yet at Wrigley, the wide-eyed masses - whether they be from Peoria, Nebraska, Texas, or California - solidify the sense of privilege I have to be able to go to the park with regularity during baseball season. Some of these people are on their one trip to the Friendly Confines that they'll ever go on, and it just so happens that Koyie Hill is behind the plate and Jason Marquis is throwing meatballs. But they don't care - they're just happy to be there. Start a conversation if you can - if you really want to know what you value most about being a Cubs fan, listen to what you say to people who have never been to Wrigley before. And at some point, drop the fact that you get to go to a couple dozen or so games a year - because what's living on the North Side without feeding off a little jealousy?